I’m So ADD I’m Driving ME Crazy With It

Didja ever have one of those days when you just weren’t satisfied with anything you were doing?  That was my day Tuesday.  No matter what I started, I couldn’t complete.  I began tidying up the kitchen, then decided to stop and have more coffee.  I sat down at the laptop and played on Twitter then felt like surfing the web for news. I even went to update my status on my FaceBook page only to tell the world I had no status.  I rapidly left FaceBook and returned to the news.  I had enough news and then I wanted to do the crossword — I started that and gave it up as soon as I hit the first snag.

It was like this all day — up and down, in this room and that room.  I began cleaning out a dresser drawer that I have been meaning to get to for the longest time — it’s one of those drawers that should hold something normal like socks, but has ended up being filled to the brim with things like receipts from purchases made at Target in 2003, old eyeglass cases, an empty wallet (darnitall), old credit cards I haven’t gotten around to cutting up yet — a junk drawer.  I even found the sales receipt and warranty for our dishwasher — what the blue blazes was that doing in my dresser drawer?

I couldn’t sit still.  I spent an inordinate amount of time outside watching the housepainters and wondering to myself had I made the right decisions on the colors – the yellow is soft and lovely, but the blue is a little bluer than I thought it would be.  I sort of freaked out momentarily because most of the houses in our neighborhood are kind of dull and bland and ours is really going to stand out — do I want that?  The more I looked at the blue the better I liked it.  The hell with the neighbors and their boring bland beige houses – our house is gonna pop and be happy and full of sunshine.  But, just for a moment I was filled with paint buyer’s remorse and that’s not a fun feeling.  I’m okay now — the blue WILL go on.  And yes, I’ll post before and after pics when they get done – another week or so.

What else…I tried to read — good grief I must have picked up 5 different books and read pieces of each – couldn’t concentrate; I’d read the same paragraph over and over.  I started another story for my Parchment Monkey blog but got stuck and decided to file it away for a later time.  I worked on a poem – blechh.  I dragged out some craftwork.  Meh… I tried to take a nap but my mind was going a thousand miles an hour telling me things I should be doing.  I filled up my To Do list and had to start a new page.

I did online research on the camera I want to buy — I managed to narrow it down to either a Canon or a Nikon but that’s as far as I got – there’s alot of information to digest and I couldn’t concentrate.  Then I started researching new laptops because suddenly I also have developed a battery issue.  I debated with Devoted Spouse whether or not when I find the new laptop if we should take this one out to the back yard and make a video of me destroying it with a sledgehammer.  I voted for the destruction video.  I thought about chainsaws — my friend Doug could bring his humongous chainsaw out and destroy it with that but that might be dangerous with metal pieces flying everywhere.  Gah…I couldn’t concentrate on one single thing all day!  Thoughts were going through my head faster than kibble goes through EmmaLou (and that’s pretty fast).

I ordered another book online from Amazon.com.  I made a ham salad sandwich then didn’t want it and gave most of it to EmmaLou.   I went out shopping but couldn’t find anything (except another book) to buy.  I stopped at Panera’s for bagels for the morning’s breakfast.  After being out in the world only about 45 minutes, I simply drove home.

I hate days like this — there is no sense of accomplishment and there is no sense of fun or relaxation either.  I’m just all over the place today and I would like tomorrow to be better.  Oh wait – I DVRd every UFO Hunter show (the History channel was having a marathon) today so on Wednesday I will treat myself to a few of those.  That should help – nothing like a little UFOlogy to hold my attention.  Oooh look a special on Bigfoot.

Sigh..

Capital Punishment With a Capital P

Today is an important day; it is a momentous occasion, albeit sad.   Today is the execution of the D.C. Sniper, the man who convinced a child to help him kill many people.  This madman and his accomplice calmly shot people  in various areas around the D.C. metropolitan area in 2002.    I know this  because I was there at the time of the Sniper attacks.

I was on one of my usual yearly visits to northern Virginia to see my best girlfriend, Kathy.  The attacks started and we simply could not believe it – what was going on?  He shot folks as they went about their ordinary lives — out shopping.  He picked them off one by one.  We were advised to “weave” as we walked across a shopping center parking lot.  Yeah, “weave”.  To say this was frightening does not come close.  It was a terror attack plain and simple and you never knew where he was gonna hit next.  People were being shot from long range while filling their cars with gas at the local gas stations.

And of course what did I need?  Gas.  (no, Auntie, not THAT kind).  We were glued to the tv set listening to the coverage of these horrible crimes unfolding before our very eyes.  This was not a one-time thing – this was planned and it took a long time and alot of lives were lost.  B*stard.  What really bothered me was he had a child with him; a child with a gun whom he brainwashed and trained to be a killer.

I remember realizing that I simply had to put gas in my car even though I was a bit frightened.  When I got to the local gas station, the station owner had erected a tarp around the gas pumps so no one could actually see you pump your gas.  What a sad commentary.  Let me tell you I broke all speed records getting gas into that car and getting out of that station.

Today this monster is to be executed in the state of Virginia.  Today the scales of justice will balance again.  Today I believe John Allen Muhammad aka the Sniper has alot of explaining to do as he meets his Maker and I hope his Maker puts him on the express elevator going DOWN.

I Can’t Keep Worrying About H1N1 – Enough Already!

Clara Barton

Everywhere I go I am bombarded by warnings about flu – get a shot, get a shot, get a shot.  Sneeze into your elbow, cover your mouth, wash your hands, use hand sanitizer.  It’s a pandemic.  The sky is falling.

Okay, I understand there is alot of sickness out there and I am truly horrified at those who are dying from complications of flu, particularly the children.  But stop trying to cause a panic.  Let’s all calm down and simply take some precautions.

Why does this come to mind now?  Because even though I have not had a flu shot, I do wash my hands alot, and I use hand sanitizer and I try to stay away from sick people (having recently been quite sick with a viral infection myself, my immune system is not what it should be).  And, when I’m sick I stay home.  These are normal precautions.   But what really made me stop and realize that you simply cannot plan for every possibility was what happened at church Sunday.

Sunday was communion day.  We take communion by walking up to people who hold out trays which contain little plastic cups of grape juice and trays containing little broken pieces of communion wafers (think Saltines without the salt).  Now everyone walks up and takes a little plastic cup — I’m okay with that.  But then each one of these people also walk over and put their possibly germy hands into the open tray containing the communion pieces and fish one out, thus leaving their germs on other pieces of communion wafers.  So what can we do about that?  Offer consecrated individually wrapped packs of Saltines instead?  I’m not trying to be sacrilegious here, I’m just saying we can’t possibly cover all the bases. Sometimes I even find myself holding my breath when someone in the congregation close to me sneezes – oh good grief.

There will be germs.  Let’s just do the best we can and not overcompensate please.  If you need a hug, you can bet your sweet patootie I am still going to give you a hug.  Flu or no flu.  And I’m going to continue to take my vitamins, eat healthy, drink lots of fluids and hope I don’t get the flu.  But I am as of right this moment not going to worry about it any  more.

It’s Beginning to Look Alot Like Christmas…Too Soon

The day after Halloween was the day I saw my first tv commercial with a Christmas theme.  I was horrified – it’s Autumn and our thoughts are beginning to turn to Thanksgiving and I’m seeing Christmas commercials.

It’s not like Christmas hasn’t been presented to me already — the wrapping paper and decorations were already in some of the stores before Halloween – there oughta be a law…

But now I’m being treated to little cell phones hanging on a Christmas garland dancing across my tv screen courtesy of Radio Shack (excuse me…The Shack–who are they kidding?)  A Kohl’s commercial has people with heavy sweaters and coats on and there’s snow – ick, snow included.  Couldn’t I have had just a bit more peaceful time to enjoy Fall before being bombarded by Holiday Songs???  How sick of Christmas will we be by the time it actually arrives.

On the 3rd of November a treat arrived in the mail.  It was a Christmas Card from Sears.  I kid you not – they actually mailed us a Christmas Card and, of course, mentioned they were having some dandy holiday sales.  Holiday sales?  On the 3rd of November?  Perish the thought.

Bah humbug.  I used to love Christmas.  The commercialism begins earlier each year and each year it almost becomes a chore — get out there and get those gifts purchased before hordes of people are all vying for a parking spot and the lines are long in the stores.  I’m over it.

A Christmas Card on the 3rd of  November.  Of all the nerve.  They could have at least wished me a Happy Thanksgiving first.

Forklift Fail or You Think You Had a Bad Day?

 

more about “Forklift fail“, posted with vodpod

 

There’s a Reason for Minimum Wage

I don’t mean to hurt the feelings of all those nice people who work for minimum wage but sometimes minimum wage just makes sense.

Take my recent breakfast run to McDonald’s (which I don’t make often).  Devoted Spouse wanted two sausage biscuits and I knew if I didn’t have a McSkillet Burrito for breakfast I would surely die.

Seeing no one in the drive up lane, I was so happy – this was going to be a breeze.  Silly me.

Disembodied voice coming through speaker:  May I help you?

Me:  I’d like two sausage biscuits and one McSkillet Burrito please.

Disembodied voice:  Okay that’s a sausage biscuit and a sausage burrito?

Me:  No, TWO sausage biscuits and a McSkillet burrito, not a sausage burrito.

Disembodied voice:  Okay two sausage biscuits and a McSkillet burrito.  What kind of McSkillet burrito you want, steak or sausage?

Me:  Sausage please

Disembodied voice:  So that’s two sausage biscuits and a sausage burrito.

Me:  NO, NO, NO – a sausage McSkillet burrito, NOT a sausage burrito (there’s a biiiig difference).

I looked at the automated ordering board and saw:  2 McSkillet burritos, 2 sausage biscuits.  I banged my head on the dashboard and realized I was going to have to start again and speak slowly and calmly.

Me:  Let’s start this again, shall we?  I would like 1 sausage McSkillet burrito and 2 plain sausage biscuits and that’s all.

Disembodied voice:  Oh,  you mean 2 sausage biscuits and a McSkillet burrito?

Me:  YES (sighing and thinking finally she has it.)

Disembodied voice:  What kind of McSkillet burrito you want — steak or sausage?

At that point I simply pulled around to the window so I could explain to her face to face what I did and did not want.  She finally got it right and grinned at me as she took my money.  I realized this was a young woman who had probably just barely made it through high school and I decided to cut her a break and so I smiled back and thanked her (and said a prayer that no one did her bodily harm that day as she was surely pressing her luck.)

I pulled up to the pickup window – the lady there handed me a bag and said “That was two sausage biscuits and a sausage burrito, right?”  I lost all ability to speak and simply took the bag from her.  She wished me a pleasant day and I drove away vowing to ignore any future cravings for a McDonald’s sausage McSkillet burrito.

And, yes, there is a reason some folks make minimum wage — it’s known as minimum skills.

Wordless Wednesday

Has anyone seen the leftover Halloween candy?

I can smell the candy on your breath, now share!

The Fun Just Keeps Coming

I have mentioned once or a thousand times during the course of this year about my issues with home appliances.  It seems as if every time I turn around something else decides to die a horrible electrical death.  Recently the refrigerator bled out (oh it was only water) all over the kitchen and into the dining room (I hate GE Profile so much).  Prior to that the oven had given up and we were reduced to using the microwave (which wasn’t bad really). At the time I had an injured shoulder and couldn’t pick up anything to get it into an oven anyway.  The air conditioning went out during a very hot spell (naturally) and to get the best deal and the energy tax rebates we went ahead and replaced the furnace (it was a disaster waiting to happen anyway).  Today I actually made the final payment on the furnace/air conditioning.

I was feeling so good about not having that high amount of debt for the furnace/ air conditioning hanging over my head that to celebrate (I know, I’m strange)  I decided to help Devoted Spouse by taking my turn at doing a few loads of laundry.  He was busy with other home maintenance issues and I didn’t want to bother him.  I can get the laundry baskets bounced down two flights of stairs without spilling much more than an errant washcloth and errant washcloths are a favorite of EmmaLou so everyone is happy.

After 3 loads of laundry and the associated trips up and down two flights of stairs, I was really feeling my oats, so to speak.  I got a little too excited – laundry-wise – and decided it was time to wash the coverlet off our bed.  Now this is not a heavy comforter, just a lightweight cover, but it is somewhat large.   Went through the wash cycle with no problem.  Went through the dry cycle with no problem… sort of.

I went down to the basement to check on whether or not the coverlet was dry and at the foot of the stairs I smelled something burning.  Oh crap – I’ve smelled that aroma before — it’s a burned out motor and it had to be coming from either the washer or dryer.  Crap, crap, crap.  I got to the laundry area and the washer was just humming along doing its thing happily unaware that right next to it, its mate was dying a horrible slow death.  I unplugged the dryer and called to Devoted Spouse.

He came downstairs with appropriate dryer tools in hand.  He pulled the dryer away from the wall, took off some of the back panels, rummaged around a bit, and the smell was still that of burning machinery.  I decided then and there I didn’t want him to try and fix it – it needed a decent burial; it was 12 years old and had fought the good fight.

So off to the Big Orange Box of Toys (Home Depot) we went and being the smart consumer I am, I did a pre-emptive strike and bought not just a dryer but its matching washer, too.  These aren’t the big hummers you see advertised on tv — we don’t generate that much laundry, and frankly I don’t need a steam function on my dryer.  That’s why God made Dry Cleaners.  But they still run about $800 each.  Crap.  There goes that Mac I wanted to buy.

What irks me is while these are high energy machines, we don’t qualify for the tax credit because the state of Ohio is just now dickering around with the paperwork with the Federal Government to figure out how to go about this process.  So we get the energy benefits, but no tax credits.  Grrrr…stupid bureaucracy.

So, let’s tally this up for 2009 – a new furnace, new air conditioning, a new water softener, a new stove/oven, new refrigerator, new washer, and a new dryer (we bought a new dishwasher in late 2008 so that doesn’t qualify even though it was pricey).  All told, almost $12,000.  That’s alot of money for one year.  But the good news is I won’t have to put out that kind of dough again for a long time hopefully.

On the other hand, there is a hot water heater lurking in the basement and I can hear it whispering and plotting…it’s up to no good…I just know one of these days I will wake up to cold water coming from the bathroom shower and a flooded basement and realize I should have replaced that water heater the day before…sigh…

Appliances…can’t live without ‘em…can’t find a trebuchet large enough to fling them where the sun don’t shine…

Coupons Redux or Rumble on Lane Three

So there I stood in line at the local grocery store with my measly two items.  There were three checkout lanes open; each one having several people in line and all with no less than 20 items each.  I looked around and chose a lane all the while praying the Express Lane would open.  The cashier at my checkout lane was new to me; he strongly resembled the guy in Two and a Half Men — the tall comedian who plays Judith’s husband?  Anyway, he’s just a tad nervous and twitchy as he’s checking the millions of groceries of the lady ahead of me.  Almost all of her items have run the conveyor gauntlet towards the bagger and it’s at that moment she decides to start pawing through her purse for her coupons.  If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’, this lady stood there for a good three or four minutes trying to find each and every coupon — now you know most of us savvy shoppers have our handy dandy coupons ready in our chubby little hands along with our credit card or checkbook, but not this woman.

She finally dug them all out and gave them to Mr. Twitchy.  He started scanning, got about halfway through them and one of the coupons wouldn’t ring up.  He stopped everything, walked around his checkout station and over to the bags that were already full and proceeded to go through them looking for the item in question.  Of course I piped up with, “Can’t you scroll through the receipt and look for the item?”  “Nope,” he said, “This new system doesn’t work that way.”  To which I added, “Well, that’s just dumber than dirt.”  He finally found the item.  But now he couldn’t get the little green screen asking him the price of the item to disappear from his cash register read-out.  He kept banging on the keys, but that screen wouldn’t leave.  He called another cashier over and she banged the same key and came to the same conclusion; that screen wasn’t going to disappear.

In the meantime, it’s been about 90 minutes now that I’ve been waiting as the next person in line and, shoot, I only have two items; a pint of Hagen Daz Rum Raisin ice cream, and a jar of salsa.  The lady behind me points at my items and says, “You got a strange combination there.”  I turned to her and replied, “I know and if the ice cream melts, the combination of salsa and ice cream don’t work as well.”  She looked at me and said, “You can’t be serious — you don’t really mix those two, do you??”  I put my best honest look on my face and said, “You only need a dollop of the salsa on top of the ice cream, and I’m telling you it’s the most amazing taste combination I have ever experienced!”  She looked at me a moment longer, then said, “Hmmmph, guess I’ll have to try it.”

By that time I was internally hemorrhaging, ready to wet my pants, and trying to keep a straight face as Mr. Twitchy started humming while he remained steadfast in his efforts to erase that pesky green screen.  He finally pulled out a key from his pocket, unlocked the cash register and pressed some type of reset.  He kept humming and remarked, “Well there we go now; that wasn’t so bad, was it?”  I almost choked, I had tears forming and was on the verge of hysteria.

Where do these people come from and please Lord don’t let them reproduce.  Salsa on ice cream.  It was just too easy.

Happy Howlween

If you can spare some time, EmmaLou would like to be picked up and taken around the neighborhood to gather some treats please.   All of us here at Chez Crone and Bear It wish you a Happy Howlween.

P.S.  thanks, Midwest Mom for the caption — sorry, but EmmaLou flatly refused to put on a costume this year…maybe next year.