I was a hopeful woman. It had started out like any other day. I woke up entirely too early, did a little basic yoga stretching for my aching back and hobbled downstairs. Devoted Spouse was out w/EmmaLou taking her for a peemail jaunt in the snow so I thought, “I’ll just start the coffee for us.” How hard can that be?
Have you ever run a pot of coffee and there is no water in the pot? I’m here to tell you it doesn’t work. We have this new fancy coffee maker with a thermal pot so the coffee stays nice and hot. It has all these bells and whistles, one of which rings out when the coffee is ready. You can imagine my surprise when no sooner had I gotten the cups out then the bell rang -woot! Coffee is ready. No, wait a minute it usually takes about 10 minutes or so for a full pot. I looked at the coffee machine and realized my error – well crap on a crutch. So I fill the container with water and tried it again. Guess what happened? I got a full thermos of hot water — oh for crying in a bucket — I forgot the coffee — there was a filter in there, I just hadn’t put any coffee in it. See why I need an IV drip first thing in the morning?
By the time Devoted Spouse and EmmaLou had returned, I had my act together and we had coffee perking. I went to my comfy chair to open the laptop and say hello to the Twitterverse.
I sat down in my comfy chair and realized something was wrong. I had forgotten my handy dandy little microwaveable heating pad for my back (yes back issues have returned gangbusters). Aw crap on toast — up from the comfy chair and out to the kitchen I go to heat up the little amazing back warmer. Devoted Spouse must have gone the other direction because I went to pour coffee while the little microwave pad heated only to find one cup sitting on the counter and my fav mug missing. God love his heart — he had fixed my coffee and taken it to my comfy chair. But I wasn’t there, was I?
Speed forward about an hour and it’s getting hungry in my world. I had a terrible craving for an English muffin with peanut butter and Nutella (yes I’m back on my Nutella addiction). So I got up, took my little heating pad with me (lest EmmaLou get ahold of it and literally eat it since it is filled with corn and that would be a tasty treat for her). I made my muffin, grabbed another cup of coffee, heated up my microwaved pad and headed back to my comfy chair.
Crap, crap, crap, I left my coffee in the kitchen. EmmaLou was gazing longingly at my plate of pb/Nutella muffin, so as I went back to the kitchen for coffee, I picked up my plate and placed it on one of the shelves of an antique cupboard I have in the living room, knowing it was out of her doggie reach and safe until my return. I placed my heating pad on the chair back where she couldnt reach it, and back to the kitchen I went.
Arriving back at my comfy chair I was ready to settle in — I had my favorite mug full of hot coffee, my heating pad was still nice and toasty warm and I settle myself into my comfy chair and placed my laptop on my lap ready once again to discuss everything and anything with all my Tweeps. What’s wrong with this picture?
Yes, kids, my breakfast was about 15 feet across the room still sitting on the antique cupboard shelf just sitting there taunting me while I was firmly (and comfortably) ensconced in my comfy chair.
Moving assorted pillows and my heating pad, putting my laptop on my table away from my cup of coffee and cell phone (oh you don’t even want to hear that story), I get up, cross the room, and get my plate of pb/Nutella on an English Muffin. I head back to my comfy chair, put the plate on top of my laptop, get re-situated in my chair w/the rapidly cooling heated pad and prepare to munch down.
It’s cold. The muffin has cooled; the pb is almost congealing and the Nutella is no longer a nice gooey melting glob of hazelnut chocolate deliciousness. I got up and took it back to the kitchen, scraped off the Nutella and gave the rest of it to a very excited EmmaLou who doesn’t care if food is hot or cold; she doesn’t even care if it is technically food. If it will fit down her throat it qualifies as nutrition in her doggie logic.
I went back to my comfy chair. I took a snack pack of cottage cheese out of the refrigerator, got a spoon, and headed back to my comfy chair. I sat down and gave up on the heating pad. I put the laptop on my lap, opened it up, got ready to Tweet amazing things to the world, took a spoonful of cottage cheese and instead of it going into my mouth, it nose-dived onto my keyboard.
EmmaLou licked off the cottage cheese while tweeting something of her own to her best doggie friend Coco the Diva D0g. I then wiped down the keyboard, shut the laptop and left the room in total frustration.
I went back to bed. The imminent future was simply too frightening. I just wanted to have a normal morning. sigh…