Dear Faithful Readers:

I’m giving Crone and Bear It a break.  That’s not to say I’ll never post here again.  I’ve learned to never say never.

In the meantime, I’ve embarked on a new blogging journey.  Please come see my new endeavor She’s A Pretty Good Christian.

You’ll find me at  Never fear, my humor has not left me.

Oh yeah, EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer will be a part of the new blog, no doubt.  See ya over there.


Linda and


My Own Special Theme Thursday: Farewell


Welcome to my version of Theme Thursday:  Farewell.

The time has come to do something I’ve pondered for a few months now and that is… say goodbye to this blog.  I’ve had a great time here since 2007 and I have the utmost love and respect for all my 20 faithful readers.  You have seen me through some tremendous times and through some horrific times.  We have laughed and we have cried.  And, lest I forget, we have had the adorable and always into-something EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer along for the ride.  Can’t leave out Devoted Spouse — he’s played a valuable part in this ongoing saga of the ridiculous rantings, ravings, and general lunacy of the red-headed stepchild.

Y’all know life takes twists and turns – and mine has certainly done that recently.  I’ve come out of retirement and am actively engaged in ministry. I am blessed beyond words that God has invited me to join him in his awesome work.

Am I leaving the blogging community entirely?  Nah. It’s simply time to put Crone and Bear It to bed.  You will still find me every once in awhile over on Oh Crap on a Crutch and there you’ll hear about the crap we all have in our lives, and the antics of EmmaLou and Devoted Spouse. Plus, I’m leaving this site up for the short term to give myself an out should I not be able to “retire” this persona completely.  LOL  You know me – ya just never know what to expect!!

EmmaLou will still be on Twitter as @GoldenDestroyer.  I am changing my Twitter name from @Croneandbearit to  @LKay509 and I’d love to continue all my amazing Twitter relationships!!

So now I’m about to break into song…. Don’t Cry For Me Argentina….  LOL  snort.  I’ll be around – you can’t get rid of me totally.  My 20 faithful readers?  I’ll cya on FB gang!

Thanks for letting me entertain you and hopefully put a smile on those faces…ciao kids…sigh…

A Blogger of Note? Me? Well, Crap on a Crutch…


Hi kids – My faithful readers — all 11 of you are in for something different today.  Today I’m not here to make you spit out your coffee as you laugh at the latest antics of EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.  I promise not to rant or give you silly lists to read. Nor will I regale you with stories of my own stupidity, lack of attention to important things like sharp knives, my bouts of CRS and ADD…where was I again?  Oh yeah…

Today’s post is about my being given a great honor — the lovely ladies over at Words of Wisdom are highlighting me today as one of their Bloggers of Note (or BON as they say).   I am just flabbergasted that they would include this lil ole piddly blog in their list, but I am grateful, nonetheless.

So to all of you visiting me for the first time:  Welcome to the somewhat skewed and slightly deranged world of a middle-aged redheaded stepchild who looks around her at what is going on and mostly laughs.  I like to poke fun at things and people and I try not to get too snarky – okay a few times maybe, but they probably deserved it. 

My bloggy world is made up of my husband of over 26 years known to ya’ll as Devoted Spouse and my adored and spoiled rotten fur-child, EmmaLou, aka The Golden Destroyer.  EmmaLou has her own page here and there is also a page where you can see me and read more totally boring information than you ever wanted to know about me.  Gah…

I came to blogging in 2007 when I quit my jobfromheck in the cubicle-farm because I was burned out and in need of a change of direction in life (read: if I didn’t get out of there they would have found my dessicated body hunched over my keyboard one day in the 4-person cube-‘o-demons).  I started this blog Crone and Bear It as an outlet for my big mouth brand of humor.  Not satisfied with just one blog I started  Oh Crap on a Crutch to show the silly crap that happens to me or crap in general.   I also started another blog Parchment Monkey  which is a place I go to write stories, memoirs, poems and it highlights the small but ever-present quasi-serious part of me.  I enjoy social networking and can be found on Twitter (@Croneandbearit and EmmaLou is @GoldenDestroyer – yes she tweets and her claws are destroying my keyboard).  In between all this social stuff, I am reading voraciously, attempting to attain a graduate degree, getting ready to do some volunteer literacy tutoring,  hanging out w/Devoted Spouse, and generally trying to make this world a little better by spreading humor and nonsense wherever I can. 

Sandy and Pam said I must give ya’ll links to 3 of my posts.  D’ya know how hard it was to come up with 3 that I think represent me?   Crap on toast – it’s hard enough just getting out of my jammies every day.  But here you go – 3 of my posts from the archives of Crone and Bear It. 

Here is a post that pretty much sums up my philosophy of life (I obviously relate well to food & please don’t get me started on self-help gurus)  If the Egg Is Broken Scramble It  

Here is a tongue-in-cheek Christmas letter I did back in 2008 called Holiday Newsletters…Oh Joy

The final post was the most difficult to choose because I had to find something about EmmaLou.  I have written many posts about this little bundle of fur – some good and some not so good.  When I had my accident in 2009 and broke my back, this adorable dog never left my side – but once I got a little better, she went back to her mischievous antics.  So I have chosen something that epitomizes that which is EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.  Here is a posting I called Inside the House Poopers Anonymous (IHPA) which just goes to show ya gotta love your fur-kids, regardless. 

Again, thanks Sandy and Pam for showcasing my humble blog.  I hope ya’ll have enjoyed getting to know me a little – come back and visit any time – I’m usually here ranting and raving about something.  sigh…

Oh, and don’t forget to visit Words of Wisdom for other Bloggers of Note!


It’s Ketchup Time!

Whoa –  that is some big ketchup.  Actually I’m not discussing condom condiments today kids.  It’s time to paste together the dribs and drabs of stuff on my mind — junk I haven’t written about – just random thoughts.  We need to ketchup, ok?

I told ya’ll about EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer, chomping away on one of my Christmas tree ornaments.  She’s been pretty good since then so I went to the mall on my annual family ornament hunting and gathering and here is what has now been added to the tree for EmmaLou for 2009:

I didn’t realize the face looked that sad when I bought it; I was just so happy to find anything that resembled a Golden Destroyer still left at the store.  EmmaLou seemed happy when I brought it home and found its perfect place on the tree.  That could have been due in part to the dog treats I had with me.  Nah – she was excited about her newest ornament.

Next item:  Can we please stop with the Tiger jokes and move forward now?  It’s getting quite tedious.  I don’t understand why golf is such an exciting sport anyway.  You hit a ball with a piece of metal and then walk your a$$ off to find it and whack it again.  Repeat.  The only thing I remember about golfing that I enjoyed was drinking at the club house after it was over.  That and driving the carts – but I got in trouble for being reckless.  My golfing days are soooo over. Oh yeah…I enjoyed the movie Caddy Shack.  Golf…not so much.  Movie…oh yeah.  Tiger?  Over it.

Here’s something interesting I heard the other day.  A Spanish grammar book has been released.  Why is that interesting?  I dunno – maybe because it is 4,000 pages in two volumes and took 11 years to compile?  Yeah, that makes it noteworthy.  Finally, my dreams have been realized — I can now be prepared for proper subject+verb when I visit Puerto Rico so that I correctly ask the question, “Adonde tu vas?” (where are you going?) as opposed to what I might have mistakenly asked, “Adonde vas tu?” (where are going you?).  I took 7 years of Spanish during my middle and high school days and what sticks out in my mind most was my high school Spanish teacher, Senor Julca (may he probably RIP by now) who kept inviting me to la playa (the beach) which always freaked me out – crap on a crutch he even wrote something to that effect in one of my yearbooks.  Ick.  I remember my first year Spanish dialog – Hola Isabel, como esta?  Estoy bien, gracias, y tu?  Bien, gracias.  Oye quien es ese chico?  Es un amigo mio…okay okay enough – I could do the entire dialog for cryin’ out loud.  I’m forever grateful that if I ever visit Spain, I can ask anyone there, “Donde esta el bano por favor?”  (Where is the bathroom, please?)  The useless bits of worthless crap we keep in our brains is frightening.  If I could just dump some of this stuff I would have room for the more important stuff like that string theory thingie I’m working on.

While we’re playing ketchup…I hope you visited my friend Doggonedmysteries like I requested because I understand she is getting seriously close to her goal of 50,000 hits on her blog by the end of December.  And that goal means her husband owes her dinner out.  So go visit again.  Please.  Help a sistah out!  Besides, maybe she’ll acknowledge me in one of her books or use my name for a character.  Or at least send me an autographed copy.  Snicker, giggle.

Okay it is time to acknowledge another bloggy friend and that’s our buddy Delaney from whom I received a package in the mail not too long ago.  Now my brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders and as I looked at the package I kept wondering if I had BookMooched something from her but thought not.  So I finally gave up and ripped open the package to find this:

Talk about shock and awe!  This is the most gorgeous knitted cap I have ever seen – and it fits perfectly!  I would have added a pic w/me wearing it, but thought you should see the cap in its beauty – not my ugly mug under it!  Awhile back I did a post on wanting to learn how to knit — apparently for some bizarre reason known only to the universe, Delaney was inspired by my simple words to learn to knit and look at her go!  This pic does not do justice to the cap – it is absolutely beautiful, so soft,  and in a special stitch I could never master; holey moley, I can’t even cast on.  Anyway, to Delaney – thank you so much sweetie – what a beautiful surprise from a dear, dear bloggy friend!  Sniffle, sniffle.

I think that’s enough for ketchup day.  I mayo missed something, but lettuce continue l8r…

Hey Kids! It’s Do a Friend a Favor Day! Woo-Hoo!

And before anyone asks, tis the season and yes I’ve been hitting the eggnog.  So from now until after New Year’s don’t be terribly surprised if my posts make little sense.  Then again, they don’t make much sense anyway — wait, that’s the point of satire and sarcasm and wicked wit or well…let me get to today’s subject.

I love my bloggy friends and today I’m going to do a friend a favor.  One of our fellow bloggers who you all know from my Blogroll as Doggonedmysteries has a bet with her hubby that she will receive 50,000 hits on her blog by the end of this year and if she does he must treat her to dinner.  Here’s the favor part.  I kindly request all my 7 faithful readers and anyone else who happens to stumble upon this blog, whether you are in a blind stupor or not, to visit Doggonedmysteries blog so she has a fighting chance to win that scrumptious dinner.  She’s about 1,500 hits behind so we all need to move fast.

Now you may not know her — but she is a fabulous for-real mystery writer and she has some excellent excerpts for you on her site.  Please go there.  Now.  Tell her I sent you.  She’s a starving author and needs a dinner.  No, she’s not starving; I’m kidding — but she IS an author.  And I’m tickled she’s one of my bloggy friends.  So go visit her please.

What are you waiting for?  Click the link. I have three of them in this post and there’s another one over in my Blogroll — it couldn’t be any easier for you.   Hey – quit reading this part and click on one of the links.

Thank you to my 7 faithful readers…or have I reached 8 yet…I dunno.  I’m too busy doing favors to count.

Are you still here?  Doggonedmysteries NOW.   MUAH!

Queen of Awesome? Me? Aw…Shucks…


My lovely friend Mrsupole has tagged me with a Queen of Awesome award. Look at this nice award – there’s even a tiara included:

QueenofAllThings Awe-Summm!!!

What a peach she is – go visit her; she has wonderful stories and I love her dearly.  But she’s making me work for this award and you all know how I hate to WORK at anything – so I’m going to try and have a little fun with this.

The rules for me to be a Queen are:

1. Write a list of 7 things that make you awesome. (oh gag)  For the record, I looked up awesome and it doesn’t necessarily mean “wonderful”; in fact it can also mean:  alarming, astonishing, awe-inspiring, beautiful, awful, breathtaking, dreadful, exalted, fearful, formidable, frightening, imposing, mind-blowing, overwhelming, shocking, striking, stunning, terrible, terrifying, or wondrous – did I mention stupefying?  So there are many definitions to the word “awesome”.
2. Pass the award on to 7 bloggers that I love. (hmmm, who haven’t I tagged lately?)
3. Tag those bloggers to let them know that they have joined the Royal Queen’s land and link back to the Queen Bee who tagged you.  (I think I can handle this part okay.)

Here goes nothin’…

7 Things That Make Me Awesome – ahem…drumroll please…

1.  I am the biggest clutz in the world and I’m as consistent as Cream of Wheat with this. I have a true talent for running into every piece of furniture I own and tripping over the dog while never spilling the cup of coffee I’m carrying.  Now that’s awesome.

2.  I can take a grilled cheese sandwich, burn the ever-lovin’ crap outta it and just call it Cajun Blackened Panini and my guests will eat it and rave about it.   That is truly awesome.

3.  I can touch my nose with my tongue.   Looks stupid, but I don’t care – it’s not something everyone can do and that makes me awesome.  I rarely do it in public anymore; invites too  much weird attention.

4.  I was at Woodstock (well, part of it; you see I had to hitch hike from VA to NY at night with a friend and we were underage and stupid and damned lucky we lived through it).  I got there and crashed the gates with thousands of others who didn’t have tickets.  It was awesome and my being a part of it qualifies me as awesome.  Don’t ask me for details – while it’s awesome, it’s no longer a topic of discussion.  Hippie days and pot smoking are over.

5.  The last “typing” test I took I clocked in at 140 words a minute.  I actually enjoy banging the everlovin’ crap outta my keyboard and my fingers can truly fly.  Awesome baby.  My favorite “sentence” to build up speed was:  “Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.”  I would type it over and over and over until I was just flying across the keyboard and my adrenaline was pumping and I actually thought this was fun.  I have no life.

6.  Here’s a somewhat sappy awesome – I’ve been married to Devoted Spouse  for just over 26 years now and I would marry him again in a heartbeat – 26 years is awesome!  (oh yeah, so is he!!!)

7.  Here’s my last “toot my own horn” awesome fact:  On just about any day I can make someone laugh outloud or at least smile widely.  I wasn’t known as the class clown for nothing.  My somewhat offbeat, sometimes self- deprecating and occasionally off the wall sense of humor classifies me as awesome.  I will do stupid things just to get a laugh because it makes me feel good and I think when you make someone happy and it makes you happy that’s awesome!

That’s my list and I’m sticking to it. Now here is who I also nominate for Queenship:

Twenty Four at Heart – she has a gorgeous Golden Retriever just like my precious Goldie – go visit her she deserves to be Queen of Awesome any day in my book.

Oz Girl – what an adorable lil cowgirl and what a cool new site she has – git on over to see her!  She’s definitely Queen of Awesome material.

Midwest Mom – this gal tells great stories and I think she is perfect as a Queen of Awesome

Doggonedmysteries – now here’s  a “celebrity” – a real-life mystery writer and a super lady – a Queen of Awesome without a doubt or maybe without a “who-done-it?”  (sorry)

Gladys Tells All – this lady offers up great stories and is always entertaining and I’m sure the fact I’m not on her blogroll is a simple oversight on her part – but she definitely qualifies as Queen of Awesome – go read her blog and you’ll agree with me.

Inside the Shell – this is Tut-Tut as she’s known to us Twitterites – and she’s special.  Her blog is always interesting and I think she’d make a super Queen of Awesome!

And last but not least is a sweet lil gal from Texas known as Confetti Dreams – I love her and her twin (but I believe I’ve tagged her twin before) – she’s doing a Christmas in July giveaway and that’s good enough for me to make her a Queen of Awesome coz as far as I’m concerned giveaways are alot of hard work.

So Mrsupole, there are my 7 nominations and I’ll have you know all these bloggers are being tagged by me for the first time – whew that’s hard work coming up with 7 new folks – but well worth it – go check them out; they are all deserving of this award.  And my dear friend Mrsupole, well, sweetie you know I love the stuffin’ outta you and I am honored you considered me for this lovely award and I thank you.

Is it Blogging Academy Award Time and I Missed It?


I  just was notified by my bud Smart Mouth Broad that I am the recipient of another award:


This lovely Bella award is most appreciated.  HOWEVER it is NOT for Crone and Bear It.  It has been awarded to my other blog, Crap on a Crutch .  The problem with this is that my IT Guru is in the process of moving Crap on a Crutch from WordPress to my own domain.  But for the time being the link above will take you to the old Crap On a Crutch blog – just don’t scream at me because it hasn’t been updated in a few days – scream at my IT guru who WON’T let me post ANYTHING until he finishes setting up the site.  I love him dearly and he has done some wonderful work for me in the past, but MIKE – get your a$$ over here to my house and let’s get this finished!  The sooner we finish the sooner I pay you.  And bring your truck because I’m out of cash (having bought today a new furnace and air conditioner) and you will just have to fill up the back of your truck with the family silver in payment — you may need to take the dog, too.  We’ll negotiate.

Smart Mouth Broad — I love the stuffin’ outta you.  I promise on my honor as a 10th Degree Mauve Belt Blogger (what the heck?) that I will acknowledge and follow the rules of this award for Crap on a Crutch (although I’m surprised you didn’t award this the weird-ass-what-kind-of-nonsense-blog is this instead of such a lovely blogger award. )  Never let it be said I am unappreciative – I honestly will post this award when I get the new site up and running but I have to tell you where I’m going to find 15 new bloggers is beyond me.  Do they have to be normal like us?  muahahahahaha.  You do this to torment me, don’t you?  Don’t you know I’m rapidly approaching middler middle age, and I’m on Valium for blogger back spasms and simply can’t be held accountable for anything?

I love Blogging Awards and I am so honored to receive them.  Thank you Smart Mouth Broad.  Love ya, mean it.