Dear Faithful Readers:

I’m giving Crone and Bear It a break.  That’s not to say I’ll never post here again.  I’ve learned to never say never.

In the meantime, I’ve embarked on a new blogging journey.  Please come see my new endeavor She’s A Pretty Good Christian.

You’ll find me at  Never fear, my humor has not left me.

Oh yeah, EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer will be a part of the new blog, no doubt.  See ya over there.


Linda and



pic courtesy of

So…didja think I’d never return?  Shoot, I’m still behind and it’s been over a month.  Ack.

Lemme catch y’all up.  It’s been a long winter, BUT, here in Ohio it’s been a mild and rather warm winter.  In fact, my flowers are up and the birds are chirping.  Oh yeah, weeds are up, too.  File that under ‘who cares’…  I don’t do yard work.  lol snort

I deactivated my Twitter account not long ago.  GASP you say…yeah I’m done on da Twittah channel.  Too much chatter…or is that chatteh?  Whatev…

Those in the know can find me on FB blabbering away.

I’m still behind in everything…never did get those Christmas cards out.  Thought about New Year cards and then decided to ignore that thought.  Gah.  Had some great New Year’s resolutions that pretty much bit the dust.  Gah.  Was gonna clean out the basement…then the furnace blower broke (on a relatively new furnace!) and I went back to my procrastinating ways.  Yeah, I’m a procrastinator.  One of these days I’ll find a support group.  Maybe later…

Devoted Spouse is doing his thing (warming his belly with his laptop)…EmmaLou,Golden Destroyer, just celebrated her 8th birthday.  The trash can was upended in her honor.

Buffy the Mane Slayer chopped off about 4-5 inches of my gorgeous red locks recently.  What a time difference in my morning routine  – long hair is for the very young and those whose shoulders don’t ache.

I’m still here…a little older and no wiser at all.  With some luck, I’ll be back in humorous shape soon…sigh…

I Declare it Monty Python Day


In the bloggy world there are quite a few days — even more days than those of a regular week.  There is a day for every possible type of blog one wishes to post.  For example, as I write this, today is Thursday and one of the blogging world events is Theme Thursday.  However, Theme Thursday rules have changed.  Oh, it’s still known as Theme Thursday, but the actual ‘theme’ is no longer announced the prior Sunday, thus making it easier for one to actually come up with something appropriate to post by Thursday.  No, now the ‘theme’ is posted ON Thursday at 6 am and the rules now state one has until the following Thursday to complete this post.  It seems to me reading a posting entitled Theme Thursday on a Tuesday is going to confuse my 15 faithful readers.  I know it will confuse me.  Oh, I’m still going to participate now and then….but I will hit the site precisely at 6 am each Thursday, find the ‘theme’ for that Thursday and write like a hurricane in order to post something on Thursday morning. 

Or maybe not.

Maybe I will just declare this Thursday to be Monty Python Day.  A Twitter friend of mine and I had quite a few laughs Wed evening as we re-lived our favorite Monty Python memories.  She was enamored of the Parrot sketch; I was still laughing at the Bruces sketch another friend had posted a day before.  She started tweeting lines from The Knights Who Say Ni and, naturally, I had to respond with a few of those also.  That brought about another round of hysterical laughter and I found myself sitting here in my comfy chair singing the Spam song.  Yes, Monty Python brings back wonderful memories of such silliness as the world has never seen again.

And so in honor of Monty Python and because it’s 4 am here and there is no subject released yet for Theme Thursday…I think I will amuse you with a little ditty from way back when comedy was actually funny and not profane (yes I’m referring to yesterday’s post which might have been in a teensy bit of poor taste, but funny nonetheless.)

Here are a few of my favorite sketches from those days – laugh – it’s good for you…sigh…

Tag, Apparently I’m It


pic courtesy of:

My dear Goth friend, “Sandrine”, aka “Sandy”, aka “Angel”, aka “swee’pea” tagged me recently.  Now, I’m not good at these things coz they normally want you to come up with “x” numbers of facts about yourself that you’ve never told before and, well, crap on a crutch, my 15 faithful readers know just about everything there is to know about me except maybe my brand of toothpaste.  So I usually cringe whenever I get tagged.  However, this time around Sandy Guarded by an Angel has specific questions and I found them interesting and fun – so I’m gonna play along but swee’pea please don’t make me tag any other bloggers – I’ve tagged enough lately that they’re getting a bit peeved at me.  I’ll just open it up to ANYONE who wants to join in on the fun, okay?

Here goes with the questions Sandrine sent:

  1. If you could have any superpower, what would you have and why?   Telepathy — I want to be like Sookie Stackhouse from True Blood and be able to read peoples’ minds.  It would be quite illuminating to hear what actually goes on in some heads I know…plus it would give me free license to slap the snot outta someone at any given moment. Not only that…I could walk by and calmly remark, “Bite me” and never move my lips – ventriloquism without the creepy wooden doll –   snort.
  2. Who is your style icon?  um, er, hmmm, once upon a time it was Princess Diana.  After not working for 3 years and never reading fashion mags anymore I no longer have a style icon – I no longer have any style in fact.   If anyone needed a style make-over (hello Clinton?  hello Stacy??)  it would be me.  I have lived in tee shirts, sweats, and now shorts and flip flops for the last 3 years – I owned one dress (which after losing 40 pounds became way too big for me) and I was mortified on my latest shopping trip because I realized I have NO SENSE OF STYLE whatsoever.  I thought women still wore pantyhose.  Gah…I need professional help. I’d kill to have the style fashion sense of someone like Jennifer Anniston, or Sandra Bullock but I probably come closer to Whoopie Goldberg.  Yikes…  (except for the hair).
  3. What is your favorite quote?  I actually have many, but some of my favorites are a) “So long and thanks for all the fish” from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy… and b) one that is on my blog sidebar from an author named Patricia Briggs: ” Some people are like Slinkies. They aren’t really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to my face when I push them down a flight of stairs,” and of course c) “Live Long and Prosper” from the illustrious Mr. Spock.
  4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?  Someone told me just this past weekend… “You always make me smile.”  What a wonderful compliment!!
  5. What playlist/CD is in your CD player/iPod right now?  My mp3 includes Sheryl Crow, Eric Clapton, Mannheim Steamroller, Enya, Jackson Browne, Sting, Paul Simon, Dean Martin, Nora Jones, Casting Crowns, Bon Jovi, Rolling Stones, the Who, & soundtracks from The Big Chill, True Blood, and the Twilight movies – quite an eclectic mix.  The last CD I played in the car was The Best of Neil Young coz it has one of my favorites, ‘Harvest Moon’ on it. 
  6. Are you a night owl or a morning person?  Neither really – sometimes I suffer w/insomnia and I’m up most of the night.  Other times I wake up about 6:30 or 7 a.m. raring to go.  Sometimes I’m not ready to start my day until midmorning and sometimes I’m better in the afternoons.  I’m an enigma.  You never know when I’ll be at my best.  Keeps Devoted Spouse on his toes.
  7. Do you prefer dogs or cats?  Well, it all depends on what the side dish is and if there is gravy involved.  No….. I’m just kidding!!  Ya’ll know I love my Golden Destroyer, EmmaLou so I guess I’m a dog person even though I’ve had cats in the past.  I just don’t like the cat litter thing.  I’d actually like to get a ferret one day…
  8. What is the meaning behind your blog name?  Which blog?  I have 3 of them.  Okay – Crone and Bear It came about because I read somewhere where an older wiser woman was once referred to as a Crone – and then I played that off the phrase “Grin and Bear It” and my main blog became Crone and Bear It.  duh.  Then there’s Oh Crap on a Crutch.  That came about because it’s a phrase I use constantly for some bizarre reason and I have absolutely no clue how that started — plus when I hurt my hip I had a set of crutches and I thought….let’s tell the world all about the crap in my life and set up the pictures w/a shot of a crutch.  Voila.  The last blog is the quasi-serious side of me – Parchment Monkey — I took Parchment because the blog is about writing and I love the feel of parchment paper.  The Monkey part is an inside joke between Buffy the Mane Slayer (my hairdresser) and me. 

OKAY – I did it.  Now – any of my readers who wish to play along – ya’ll have at it – but I’m not assigning this to anyone, Sandrine, and I hope you understand I’ve hit up my friends too much lately and they may start throwing things at me.  LOL  – Thanks swee’pea for tagging me and letting me have a little fun and also be just a tad serious with these very interesting questions.  Love you girl!…sigh…

America: Land of Opportunity

I know I’m supposed to be studying.  Actually I’m on track with my classwork and I simply couldn’t resist talking about this story.

Some people will do anything for money — and we already know this woman has absolutely no pride or self-respect.   I guess if I had 14 children to feed and clothe and no discernable skills, I’d go for this, too.  Octoho…I mean Octomom,  is just one notch nastier than Kate with 8 – let ole Kate pop out a few more and she’d probably do the same. Course she’s put in her time on DWTS and now will be a “reporter” for ET (oh ET how low can you go?)  Then again,  diapers aren’t cheap these days.  These women must do what they must do and who am I to judge?

But the irony of Octomom advising spaying and neutering simply put me in a hysterectomy… no, wait, I mean it put me in hysterics.   The woman has had 14 children – a whole room full of labs wouldn’t be popping out that many pups.    I’m wondering if there is a gyno in town who has offered her a free tube-tying session coz someone ought to spay that woman and explain to her just what all those Huggies and Pampers are doing to the landfills.

PETA often attracts somewhat offbeat people.  Usually they just get nude and talk about fur or they throw things on people — none of which I approve but who gives a fig what I approve? 

I simply wonder some day when the Octospawn grow up how they will feel as they look back on their incubator’s life and the things she did for money. 

Personally, I would think taking some courses, getting a job and hiring daycare would set a better example, but I’m normal that way.  Then again, I don’t have a  uterus that has to be daily duct-taped back up the wazoo from drop- kicking out all those babies.  Talk about things dropping and gravity.  Ugh.

I never particularly cared for PETA – nor do I support them, but I gotta say – they will certainly get the publicity they so eagerly seek with this particular campaign.  As for me…I think Octomom and Kate have both had their 15 minutes of fame and then some.  Sigh…

It’s Not About the Cleavage – Quit Cleaving to It So Publicly



Many of my 11 faithful readers know that I spend an inordinate amount of time on Social Networking sites such as Twitter and FaceBook and then of course you can usually find me around the blogosphere too.  On blogs,  one normally finds a nice picture of the blogger so you can get an idea of whose work it is you are reading.  Those who are concerned about privacy issues (and face it people anyone can find anyone these days – so give it up and get over it) will insert a picture of a nice flower or some other such item as their “gravatar” of choice.  The same usually goes for FaceBook where, much like Cheers, everybody knows your name.

For some bizarre reason I cannot fathom on Twitter the pictures (or avatars) used of many women are just chock full of cleavage; major boobage spilling out the front of whatever and the picture is so concentrated on the “girls” that there isn’t even a face included.  Now if I want to get to know your boobs, well, okay then let’s take a good look.  But frankly, I’m not interested in how squished together your mammaries are, nor do I care how humongous they may be in that little picture.  And here’s the real kicker…if that’s what you portray to the Twitter world, I’m not going to follow you because there’s a good bet you have nothing of any value to say to me, or anyone else for that matter.

My friend Sueanne will  back me up on this as she has attempted to help ladies understand how to handle boobage on her own fashionista blog (with the help of her extraordinary handcrafted jewelry…shop from her, trust me).  And I know we both agree on this point — if all you bring to the Twitter table is your “pointies” – hit the road. 

Really, ladies, I know many of us fantasize about being strumpets with our leather or lace, etc.  But on Twitter where the entire world is watching – kindly cover up and use a little good taste when choosing how we all see you and your assets.  

Class dismissed…I need to get back to tweeting something terribly important…sigh…