Insomnia…Hello Old Pal

pic courtesy of

Again I find I lay (lie?) in bed and watch the numbers move on the digital clock.  If they just weren’t such a bright shade of red, maybe I wouldn’t get so annoyed.  There it goes again.  Another minute I’ll never get back.

Insomnia.  Really not a funny subject.  So I’m going to have to work very hard to make this humorous in any way.

Unfortunately, I know I’m not alone in this — many people suffer right along with me.  Perhaps they should start reading this blog….zzzzzzz.

I once was staying at the home of a lovely lady who suffered from insomnia.  At that time in my life I slept quite well, until one night when I heard the strangest noises coming from her kitchen.  I got out of bed and quietly crept into the dining room and peeked into her kitchen.  It was about 2 a.m.  I saw her sitting on the floor of her kitchen cleaning it one square at a time with a roll of paper towels and a bottle of Windex.  This is what I heard…. Spritz…riiiiiippppp.   Spritz…riiiippppp.  It went on and on and on.  I didn’t know what to do because I was a house guest but she was driving me crazy with the ripping of the paper towels one at a time.  I wanted to dash in, grab several handfulls of paper towels and help her get the job done but realized that would make me just as odd as she.

Then again…I’ve done some odd things at 2 a.m. myself when I couldn’t sleep.  I’ve cleaned out cupboards, rearranged furniture, moussed and gelled EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer’s hair on her head into a Mohawk (she loved it), read the worst literature (for want of a better word) in the world in a desperate attempt at sleep.  Ever hear of someone named Sun Tzu?  Trust me….terrible writer.  What a wiener.  Amazing war strategist, however.  Even his writing failed to make me fall asleep.

I’ve hit the pharmaceuticals and tried everything out there over the counter (under the counter) whatever.  Nothing works and the drugs that do work have those crazy side effects like shopping online in the middle of the night and not realizing the next morning you ordered Ginzu knives.  Ack.  Truly, while I was on Ambien, my UPS guy and I became the very best of friends and I’m convinced their stock went up because of my midnight forays online at QVC.

I’ve spoken of this before I’m sure — I’ve been blogging since about the time of Christopher Columbus and I’m bound to repeat once in awhile.  So just put up with me please.  Or send me solutions to this sleep thing – the bags under my eyes are being noticed by purse designers lately, since large bags are in vogue.  Maybe I could make some money off them.  Nah.  Nevermind.

I’m going to toddle off to bed again and see how many more times I can toss and turn in one night…there may be a Guinness Book of World Records for that…sigh..


5 thoughts on “Insomnia…Hello Old Pal

  1. I don’t really have insomnia, I just wake up early. Have you tried an OTC sleep aid like Excedrin PM? On occasion it works for me. I tend to do what I call “read myself back to sleep.”. Of course I have to reread whatever I read.
    I have these strange reactions to any medicines – Excedrin PM makes me very jumpy and hyper like any antihistamine does. Bizarre. I try to read myself back to sleep or watch something so excruciately mind-numbing on tv like Chef Tony infomercials…and I drink chamomile tea. Usually I fall asleep about 4 or 4:30 and get up at 5:30 or 6 totally exhausted. It comes and goes… hard to function though.

  2. Well it is 5:14 am here and I am still wide awake. I took my pills already and still waiting for them to kick in. Some days they work better then other days and so I sleep well on those days and other days nothing helps. We have talked about this so many times and I was truly enjoying all those daily surprises my UPS guy was bringing. I even had the FedEx guy here almost as much. He will be here this coming Monday. But I ordered that pkg in the afternoon. I started writing things I wanted to order on a notebook and so in the light of day would change my mind. I still do it, but then I try to not watch any infomercials or TV ads.

    I think the only thing that would help me to sleep would be to put C-Span on the TV and then try and watch it in bed. But hubby does not like to have the TV on and so I never get to do that. So I watch things I saved on my DVR, read blogs, write comments and sometimes I even clean a little. I will still be awake at 6 am, then 7 am, 8 am, sleep for a few hours, wake up for an hour and then try to sleep some more. I don’t even know what I look like without bags under my eyes anymore. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I really need sleep. Okay, counting sheep does not work either and neither does counting sleep. The birds are starting to sing. Gotta try and get some sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

    God bless.
    Thanks precious u gave me a gr8 idea…I’ll just DVR a bunch of Obama speeches. That should do it. bwahahahahahaha

  3. Oh man, insomnia sucks. On the nights when I toss and turn and can’t fall asleep, TheManTheMyth tells me I may as well do something useful and clean the house. Or read. Or play Solitaire on the computer. ANYTHING that would get me out of the bedroom so that HE can sleep. Because he’s thoughtful like that.
    Yeah mine’s thoughtful too coz by the time I can’t sleep I’ve usually kicked him out coz he snores like a freight train ROFL I don’t know which one of us is worse – him sounding like a jackhammer or me wandering around the house all night like a zombie.

  4. I have a boatload of games on my computer for those (many) nights when I can’t sleep. My problem usually isn’t getting to sleep…it’s staying asleep. I wake up around midnight, look at the clock and think, “Great. Just great.” Have you given Melatonin a try? It’s something that your body naturally makes that causes you to get sleepy. You can get it in the vitamin section.. a natural remedy that just gives your natural melatonin a boost. It usually, (but not always), works for me. :0)
    Hi Jane – thx for visiting me! I haven’t actually tried melatonin – I’m going to ask my doctor if I can mix it with the other meds I take (oh the joys of getting older LOL) Usually it happens a few nights, then I sleep a few nights, then repeat the cycle. And I do the same thing sleep awhile and look at clock, sleep awhile and look at clock. So annoying and really hard on my system, I’m sure. {hugs} EmmaLou sends regards!

  5. I’ve had insomnia since I was about 2. I don’t know what life is like for people who sleep 8 hours straight on a regular basis – I’ve been doing that lately and it feels SO weird. It’s like, I fall asleep fairly quickly and then the next time I open my eyes, it’s time to get up and go to work. It feels so weird – what happened to those hours in between where I stare at the ceiling and toss and turn and day dream and read and think of my to-do list and the plot of my next book and…you know.

    One thing I will say is – you might be low on calcium. Try taking a calcium supplement at night and see if you don’t snooze THAT night. I’ve tried this and it works for like a week, then I’m back to insomnia. My father has tried this but eventually he’s awake again. A neighbor tried this and it worked for a while and then he was insomniac again.

    But it’s worth a try because you can sleep for a week or two – and if your body is low in calcium, you’d be better to dose it up because other negative effects can happen.

    I do the chamomile thing too. I find that that works if I do it around 6PM every night. Like a routine. Like telling my body to start relaxing, it’ll be time for sleep soon. Also, turn the lights off after the sun goes down. Our electric lights fool the body, the melatonin won’t kick in, we don’t know it’s time to go to sleep. I read somewhere it’s like a few-hours process for the body to shut off the day, send the chemicals to our body to ready us for sleep. Also, DON’T go online! The computer activates certain parts of the brain that can prevent or disrupt sleep – I forget the particulars but I’m sure you can google it. Or better yet, find a magazine article `cause god knows what google will return!!

    (And I totally caught the weiner comment!)

    Good luck tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I so need to try the calcium – will have to go get some at Target. Last night I had two glasses of wine and I dropped right off – don’t want to do that every night though 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s