Again I find I lay (lie?) in bed and watch the numbers move on the digital clock. If they just weren’t such a bright shade of red, maybe I wouldn’t get so annoyed. There it goes again. Another minute I’ll never get back.
Insomnia. Really not a funny subject. So I’m going to have to work very hard to make this humorous in any way.
Unfortunately, I know I’m not alone in this — many people suffer right along with me. Perhaps they should start reading this blog….zzzzzzz.
I once was staying at the home of a lovely lady who suffered from insomnia. At that time in my life I slept quite well, until one night when I heard the strangest noises coming from her kitchen. I got out of bed and quietly crept into the dining room and peeked into her kitchen. It was about 2 a.m. I saw her sitting on the floor of her kitchen cleaning it one square at a time with a roll of paper towels and a bottle of Windex. This is what I heard…. Spritz…riiiiiippppp. Spritz…riiiippppp. It went on and on and on. I didn’t know what to do because I was a house guest but she was driving me crazy with the ripping of the paper towels one at a time. I wanted to dash in, grab several handfulls of paper towels and help her get the job done but realized that would make me just as odd as she.
Then again…I’ve done some odd things at 2 a.m. myself when I couldn’t sleep. I’ve cleaned out cupboards, rearranged furniture, moussed and gelled EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer’s hair on her head into a Mohawk (she loved it), read the worst literature (for want of a better word) in the world in a desperate attempt at sleep. Ever hear of someone named Sun Tzu? Trust me….terrible writer. What a wiener. Amazing war strategist, however. Even his writing failed to make me fall asleep.
I’ve hit the pharmaceuticals and tried everything out there over the counter (under the counter) whatever. Nothing works and the drugs that do work have those crazy side effects like shopping online in the middle of the night and not realizing the next morning you ordered Ginzu knives. Ack. Truly, while I was on Ambien, my UPS guy and I became the very best of friends and I’m convinced their stock went up because of my midnight forays online at QVC.
I’ve spoken of this before I’m sure — I’ve been blogging since about the time of Christopher Columbus and I’m bound to repeat once in awhile. So just put up with me please. Or send me solutions to this sleep thing – the bags under my eyes are being noticed by purse designers lately, since large bags are in vogue. Maybe I could make some money off them. Nah. Nevermind.
I’m going to toddle off to bed again and see how many more times I can toss and turn in one night…there may be a Guinness Book of World Records for that…sigh..