To Blow or Not to Blow…That is the Question

It all began about a week ago when I realized that during the course of this horrendous bout of bronchitis, I have been self-medicating with “comfort foods” (translated:  I’ve been eating waaaay too much chocolate).  This resulted in a weight gain of 3 pounds.  GASP.

Being a panic-driven, weight-obsessed person since losing 50 pounds, I realized I had to stop and remember that my life was now about eating healthy.  I did a quick survey of the kitchen and decided it was time to purge some of those bad items and get my expanding butt to the grocery for some healthier choices pronto.

Off to the store I go….perusing the perimeter of the store (where the healthy stuff lives), I filled my cart with lots and lots of fresh fruits and veggies, some lean protein and plenty of whole grains (have you actually tasted quinoa yet?  Eat that, not tofu heh heh) Anyway….I took my healthy goodies home.

I don’t know about you, but when I look on the package of pre-picked, pre-washed salad I simply don’t believe anyone actually took the time to seriously hose down those pieces of greens and then dry them before packaging. So I always give them a good couple of rinses myself.

One of the items I bought was a plastic package of pre-cut broccoli.  This was just the tops of the broccoli; the flowerets or florets, depending on whose package you buy.  Into my colander went teeny little pieces of the tops of the ‘broccoli trees’.  After rinsing, I took the colander and dumped it onto several layers of paper towels so the broccoli would dry. An hour later they were still wet.  I got more paper towels and blotted.  And I blotted.  And I blotted.  What happens when one keeps blotting is pieces-parts of the little broccoli flowers start to come apart.

And that’s when it hit me.  The idea to beat all ideas.  I could clean my broccoli in record time with a tool I had in my possession in another part of the house.

Up the stairs I went….into the master bathroom…under the sink…and there it was — my Blow Dryer.  What a concept – a multi-tool – if it dries hair, why won’t it also dry broccoli?  I took the Blow Dryer to the kitchen, plugged it in, hit the switch and being the smart gal I am, I put my finger on the “Cool” button so as not to fry my broccoli. 

And then I realized I was in the midst of a distortion of Alfred, Lord Tennyson’s poem Charge of the Light Brigade.  Forward the Blow Dryer Brigade —  pieces of broccoli to the left of me; pieces of broccoli to the right of me, half a bag, half a bag, half a bag onward…onward to the kitchen floor.  Into the Valley of Linoleum Rode the Six Hundred… pieces of broccoli.

At the time it seemed a good idea…sigh…

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11 thoughts on “To Blow or Not to Blow…That is the Question

  1. Hey Linda!

    Okay, so you went from comfort food to beating up on broccoli? I think I shall call the “Broccoli Police”. Be on the look out. LOL!

    Dr. Rus
    See I would have gladly thown brussels sprouts to the floor LOL but I like broccoli! About that time I thought of getting choc out of trash but that’s a desperate measure I didn’t want to do – so took trash out to the ‘big’ can outside!!! No temptation! LOL

  2. LOL. I’ll take a blow-dried salad to go!
    You should try this sometime – it was a fun game — instead of Where’s Waldo…Where’s all the Broccoli? ROFL And EmmaLou doesn’t like broccoli so she was no help at all!!!

  3. He he 🙂 The way I see it.. you just spread a little color in your world today!
    LOL you’re right – I made my world a little greener! 😉

  4. I was going to suggest thesalad spinner or a fine colander, and I say a fine one so that the little pieces stay in there. I think a mesh one would work. I just usually was them just before I am going to use them. I love broccoli!!! Oh and Broccoli creamed soup, total addict.

    3 pounds gone in a flash, you’ll see.

    Oh and now you know what you can surround your garden with, although I think rabbits like it. Sigh!!!

    God bless.

    I’ve tried growing broccoli before and yes, the rabbits love it – but this year we are re-designing the garden into a series of raised beds (if Devoted Spouse gets around to building them) and maybe the rabbits won’t be able to get up there if we add fencing!

  5. Kind of reminds me of the time a friend used a blow dryer to heat up some leftover pizza. It didn’t work but it was good for about 10 minutes of hilarity.
    At the time it sounded good, looking back I realize my error was in using the High setting. crap

  6. OK. Just so you know…

    As long as the electricity’s still functional, you also can use a blow dryer to free yourself from an iced-in boat. Oh yes, you can 😉
    Well that’s going in my Survival Book. Oh wait I don’t have one – that’s Devoted Spouse’s domain. We don’t have a boat either…but you never know when you’ll be stuck in someone else’s frozen boat…. so always pack a blow dryer!

  7. I bet you had a bit of a mess. Should of worked though.
    Shhhh don’t tell anyone…I tried it again only this time on low speed and it does work. High blows them off the counter. Low and held farther away works just fine….of course I discovered this AFTER I bought the $39.99 salad spinner. Ack. But I spun the dickens out of tonight’s spinach salad. heh heh

  8. Hilarious. Watch out or you will end up on that show “my strange addiction” as there was a lady on there who slept with her blow dryer.

    I have to ask….and I tried not to, but just have to…can’t you eat the broccoli a little bit wet? (after the towel drying)

    And how about this for an idea, chocolate dipped broccoli? You could start a business. 🙂
    I was making a salad ahead of time and afraid too-wet broc would wilt the salad, but I don’t see why a little moisture would hurt – I usually just rinse and lightly paper-towel them when I use as snacks. I actually Like the idea of choc-dipped broccoli since broccoli doesn’t have an overpowering flavor of its own really – the choc would be a great enhancement – YOU should do this – your idea! 😉 (I don’t know about the shelf-life factor tho… LOL)

  9. That’s hilarious!

    I’m that way with any cold, wet foods–whether it’s milk, cottage cheese, sliced ham, yogurt, ice cream, or sliced cheese, I always wipe off the carton/package with paper towels before putting it into the frige. May be compulsive, but it must work, since I almost never get sick!
    I wipe down EVERYTHING too. All cartons because you don’t know what slimy germs the guy had who rummaged through all the other cartons looking for the best sell-by-date. I’m getting complusive about germs having been quite sick in the past with various nasty bugs. I think we’re smart. 😉

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