Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel

Having been ill, under the influence of some heavy duty drugs (translation:  the best cough syrup the pharmaceutical industry can provide, hic…), it’s been a bit difficult to come up with blog material.  I could tell you wonderful anecdotes about the Kleenex sculptures I’m making but that only takes two sentences at best.

In times like these I turn to my handy ‘random blog idea generator’.  This time Idea #105 came up:  “Listening is a  magnetic and strange thing, a creative force.  Today stop what you’re doing and listen for 2 minutes. Then write the new thoughts you had as the result of this simple activity.”  Are you kidding me?  Be quiet for 2 minutes? Me?  With this infernal cough? 

It’s difficult to be quiet when you are in the throes of hacking up various organ parts.  I’ve expectorated (hawked up) most of both lungs from this bronchitis and today I noticed I was close to ejecting the lining of my lower intestine.  My appendix had hit the floor last Friday closely followed by my spleen; two organs I didn’t need anyway.  And I’m supposed to find two minutes of quiet.  Yeah.

I made it about 45 seconds.  During that time here is what churned through my mind.  Why does Oprah continually name new ventures using a variation of the letters in her name?  Her production company is Harpo, her magazine is O and now her network is OWN?  Does this trigger your gag reflex as much as it does mine?  What has she not tackled yet?  Hmmm…other aspects of entertainment.  Music for example.  If she can find enough bad country singers, she could christen The Grand Old Oprah.  What about the high tech industry?  Someday we could find ourselves watching the latest Batman DVD on an Oprah-Ray player. Wait…HDO – High Definition Oprah — no, let’s not go there.   Perhaps in the future  there will be an awards show with a little statuette named after her.  Would you be proud to display your very own coveted Opri? 

Those thoughts took 45 seconds.  Then I had another coughing fit…probably a good thing because the Oprah subject was going downhill rapidly…sigh…

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13 thoughts on “Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel

  1. Get better! And I hope you took some pictures of those tissue sculptures. I seen weirder things called art.
    I’m on the mend finally – and I could prob sell them on eBay but EmmaLou has already eaten a good number of them. So much for my art project… lol

  2. Glad to hear you are doing a little better. Seems like a repeat of last year. Yuck, I did not just say that. No, No, no repeats.

    Does Oprah have a dance named after her? How about the O’danprah River, I heard they want to name a lot of things after her in Africa. The O House, The Oprah Orphanage,
    The O car, it runs on Oprah’s favorite things. Wait we got a Pres that might be slightly named after her. You know how O is now running the White House and people want to sleep in the Oprah Room. It now gets more requests then the Lincoln Room. O kay I guess I better stop. Just keep getting well so we can go see her new O State, it is just above Texas. LOL

    God bless.
    My new motto? Just say O no. 😉

  3. PS…O by the way I just finally got to write a new post. It is really O mazing. I O ver did it. Maybe it is a little about an O wl who says Hu, Hu.

    O my it also talks about the previous post. O just stop on by and O ut me.

    O God bless again.
    O! st-O-p it – I can’t even eat my fav cereal Cheeeri-O-s anym-O-re. Gag. I will c-O-me visit yOu s-O-O-n. ack

  4. Hey Linda;

    Okay, I give you an “A” for “effort” as through it all you managed to get a blog post out! Hmmm, Oprah’s new network called “OWN”. Can you spell E-G-O? LOL!

    Dr. Rus
    sometimes ego gets to all of us…

  5. We have those kleenex sculptures too, and yes w/ 5 of us coughing I am jealous of all those seconds you had of silence LOL
    I’m only gonna say this once so lissen up girlfriend – ya’ll have been sick long enough – where YOU live U have plenty of medical care – get your collective butts to the doctor!!! I mean it – don’t make me drive up there coz I don’t have a passport and they’ll lock me up. They might lock me up anyway – lol Get better hunny!!

  6. Did you know if you play Oprah’s television shows backward you get the full archive of the Howdy Dowdy show? True story.

    Get well soon!
    Ack Ack Hack Hack – just hawked up lower G.I. tract laffing – stop stop stop!!!! can’t breathe…ur killin me. “It’s Oprah Doody Time” “Princess Summer Winter Fall O My Butt’s Getting Big Again?” Ack I so remember Howdy Doody – gah I’m so old…..just tie me to a tree and get it over with. lol snort

  7. With Steve Jobs sort of semi leaving Apple, I hear Oprah is being considered for the “Job”. Guess we will now have the Ophone, Opad, Otouchy, Ofeely and of course the Obook.
    I’m thru menopause so I don’t need Opads anymore — heh heh O is her own App. Her type of influence truly scares me. yikes

  8. Have you made a kleenex sculpture that resembles Jeebus or the Madonna yet? You could sell those on Ebay and fund your cough syrup habit….. ; )
    It resembled Elvis then I turned my back and EmmaLou ate his Pompadour hairdo. danged dog…

  9. There’s a reason meditation doesn’t work for me and that is because I get weird random thoughts a-running through my mind instead of the peaceful, cleansing thoughts (or non-thoughts) I’m supposed to be having or I’ll get an earworm of Partridge Family songs and well, you get the idea.

    Oh, and if I’m supposed to LISTEN for two minutes, I’d spend that two minutes going, “is it time yet? Has it been two minutes? What time is it?”

    Yeah.
    uh-huh definitely twins in our heads here. scary…

  10. Glad you are feeling better. This must be going around because my daughter, SIL and grandbaby all were down with the crud. Thankfully, (knock on wood) Hubby and I haven’t gotten it yet.
    Hope you get over it quickly and don’t relapse.
    I’m now getting over Round 2 with the help of some good antibiotics – so I hope I don’t get it again either!!

  11. I thought Oprah Winfrey was doing a good thing, quitting her daytime talk show–and I still do. But I just recently discovered the OWN network. And that, along with her magazine–well, you’re right, she seems to “OWN” everything. I’m sure she has alot of good ideas for daily living, and I don’t consider her a dangerous person, in herself. But the danger is that so many people practically worship her–following every single thing she says and does. This prevents independent thinking, in her followers, and that’s where the danger lies. Assuming she realizes this, if she had real character, she would step down from all of these ventures. But “absolute power corrupteth absolutely”, so she’s likely to continue building her ideological empire. Can a celebrity have more power than a national leader? Of course. Influence is power, and Oprah Winfrey probably has more influence on Americans than President Obama.
    Hi Scott! Your comment is so eloquently put…I can’t think of anything to add except to say I agree completely and find it a bit disturbing the amount of power and influence we allow celebrities and politicians to wield over us. 😉

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