Scene Setting: Sunday afternoon. Football game on tv. What to eat? Pizza….duh.
Devoted Spouse: You want more pizza?
Me: Heck yeah. I dunno why I’m so hungry; I’m absolutely starved!
Devoted Spouse: What’d we have for dinner last night?
Devoted Spouse: No, really, I don’t remember…what’d we have for dinner last night?
Me: I.Don’t.Know. I.Can’t.Remember. Are.You.Happy? Okay, so now BOTH of us need to go to “the home” (laughing in background)
Devoted Spouse: (grinning) So…what’d we have for dinner last night?
Me: CRAP. I.Don’t.Know. Gimme my pizza.
Devoted Spouse: calmly walks toward family room with his plate of pizza and a smirk on his face
Devoted Spouse: Huh? You want nachos now? (looks confused)
Me: No you goofball, remember we had a big plate of nachos late in the afternoon Saturday coz we were watching football and that ended up BEING dinner. (Wipes brow and breathes sigh of relief knowing mind is still sharp as a tack and I won’t be going to “the home” anytime soon.)
Devoted Spouse: Oh yeah, nachos.
Me: ‘Oh yeah, nachos?’ That’s the best you can do?? I REMEMBERED AND YOU DIDN’T (insert me doing happy dance here).
Devoted Spouse: Chews pizza, tosses crust to EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer, and goes back to watching football.
Tomorrow I may just drive down the highway, slow down at the gates of the VA , reach over, open the passenger door, and boot him out. They have to take him. It’s in the handbook…sigh…