Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year are over kids. The bills are waiting to be paid, and those pesky holiday pounds are sitting on our butts waiting to be dealt with. But wait — there is help available. In fact, my daily newspaper recently published an article on how to lose weight without losing a lot of money. Yay.
Reading the article, I am heartened to find that eating at home will help me peel off these pounds. Hmmm, seems to me I ate those Christmas cookies at home. Perhaps the idea here is not to buy that 4 pound container of cookie dough at the grocery store. I’ll be sure and shop the perimeter of the store, too, since that’s where the fresher groceries reside But wait…I need teabags. Let me just tip-toe into one of the inner aisles, grab a box of teabags, and flee before the boxed puddings attack me.
According to the article to lose weight one should “sip savvy”. Well, if I knew what savvy was, I’d sip the dickens out of it to lose these 4 pounds. After looking all through the beverage section, I found no refreshing beverage called “savvy.” I did locate the red wine.
The paper’s helpful hint here is to drink seltzer. Have any of you actually tasted “seltzer”? The only description coming to mind is…blechh. This article claims seltzer is refreshing and I can decorate it just like a mixed drink or even dye it (dye it???). I think not. I believe I’ll just keep sipping my glass of red wine. The seltzer will come in handy when EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer, whacks her tail into the wine glass and hurtles it across the floor.
To further save money, the writer has this neat idea that we all cut out cable and instead spend our TV time outdoors. Ah yes…the great outdoors beckons. I’ll just peek into my neighbor’s window and see what’s on their cable. Hey! What’s that revolving blue light in the driveway?
While I found the article mildly amusing, I about fell out of my comfy chair when I turned the page. There in bold type with a stunning picture was the following headline: “For a splurge, try bacon-cheddar quiche.” The recipe called for flour, real butter, eggs, full-fat cheddar cheese, bacon, heavy cream and – are you ready? LARD. Conveniently left out was any nutritional information such as the caloric content. I’m guessing a healthy slice probably exceeds the daily calorie requirements for two or three Sumo wrestlers at the very least.
One page all about getting rid of holiday pounds cheaply and easily; the next how to pack them back on. I love my local newspaper…sigh…