I Can’t Make This Stuff Up – Really

The scene is my kitchen fairly early in the day.  I’m standing at the counter putting away some dishes in the cupboard.  Devoted Spouse is at the sink working on something that I can only barely see in my peripheral vision but I hear funny noises….

Devoted Spouse:  screech, screech, squeak, scrape, screech.  “Wow!  That really DOES work. ”

Me:  Looks over and sees a man and one of his many penknives.  What is odd about this scene?  He is scraping this penknife against the ceramic bottom edge of a coffee cup.  He’s honing his knife on my coffee cup….MY VINTAGE FIESTAWARE COFFEE CUP…GASP!

Devoted Spouse:  screech, screech, “Cool.”

Me:  “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKIN’ MIND…DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH??????””

Devoted Spouse:  “what?…”

Grabbing the coffee cup from his hands I realized he is spending entirely too much time on those strange online survival forums and chat rooms.  Now I have to lock up my china…sigh…

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13 thoughts on “I Can’t Make This Stuff Up – Really

  1. LOL. Wait! I can see the big picture here… DS must keep his knife sharp so he can cut the fish off his line after using a full can of WD-40 as bait!
    the big picture is he’s lucky he’s still got a home!!! ROFL 😉

  2. I am going to have to try that on some grout somewhere in the house. Did you check out the knives to see how well they worked. I am thinking that the grout has to have sand in it to really work.

    Okay, just kidding. But just look at all the things we can learn on the internet.

    I finally posted a new blogpost today and it is a parody of an “Oldie but Goodie” called “Where can my mojo be?” I think you will be able to figure out which song it goes to, but if not let me know. Plus it has a picture of Christopher in it.

    I hope you and everyone enjoy it.

    Now I am gonna go see if I can find some hidden grout or an old coffee mug.

    God bless.
    I promise to visit you later today!! xoxo

  3. I’m just wondering how that must have sounded? Like fingernails on a blackboard? Yikes.
    Glad your coffee mug survived the ordeal – how funny!
    Sunshine xx
    My words did not do it justice — I wanted to grab my camera and take a quick video but I was so flabbergasted that he was actually DOING that, I simply started yelling instead!! ROFL – he now understands my vintage china is for dining purposes ONLY. 😉

  4. HAHAHAHA Men! I always have to keep my eye on my wonderful hubby lol. He is very helpful with the boys but sometimes teaches them bad things by throwing balloons at their heads. I’m like what are you doing?? He says well obviously they won’t throw a ball at someones head, they will know the difference. Um no darling. They are 2 & 4.

    And we don’t want to talk about the times I use to come home late b/c I had to work and such, and then would come home to holes in my wall b/c he felt we needed a door somewhere, or a outlet/light switch moved.
    Oh PUHLEEZE don’t give Devoted Spouse any more ideas!! ROFL 😉

  5. Hey Linda!

    LOL! So, now I KNOW another use for my pocket knife! Yee haw! I’m sure my wife will be glad you shared this little tip with me.

    Dr. Rus
    I’m sure I can snag a few more good tips for ya from Devoted Spouse!! ROFL Watta guy! 😉

  6. Sounds like you need to find him a cup of his own and paint his name on it so he doesn’t forget that that is the ONLY cup he can safely use. Win-win to me anyway.
    Nooooo cups are for drinking — sharpening stones or whet stones are for sharpening the edge of a knife. I understand he was actually honing the knife on my cup, meaning he was getting the little burrs left over from sharpening off the knife. He will have to find something else to hone away on. LOL

  7. Raw ceramic on the bottom of a coffee cup works wonders for honing a knife after sharpening. I’ve also heard that the glass on the top of a car window works well too…haven’t tried that yet. If I do, it will have to be on my car, not hers.
    Oh jinkies — now I have to watch you around the cars. If your window doesn’t do the trick and you use mine, I promise you (lovingly) you’ll be pullin’ back a bloody stump and you can kiss your knife away, Bubba. ROFL

  8. This is hysterical!

    I blog from Haiti, where my partner does disaster response for a major housing NGO and discovered about a month after the earthquake that she was organizing the distribution of home repair kits that included switch blades. Yes, the organization was inadvertently arming the camps of homeless folks in Port-au-Prince, hoping to provide a useful tool in a small package–but, good god, knives! I know I’m not telling this story very well here, but my blog shares some of our crazy mis-adventures here in Haiti. You might enjoy it!

    I’m going to subscribe to your blog. I’m so excited to have found it!
    I’m happy you found me too coz that means I have a new bloggy friend! Woot! I can see the advantages of including small knives in the repair kits but I can see the disadvantages too – at least they weren’t the big Rambo-type jagged edge tactical military-Devoted Spouse-take-out-into-the-jungle-I-can-survive-forever-on-this-and-a-flippin’-box-of-matches-with-one-sheet-of-toilet-paper-for-kicks knife. ROFL

  9. Right now I’m thanking my lucky stars that DH doesn’t go on the computer and read blogs. Of course, he has an extensive collection of whet stones et al so he’d never dare use my ceramic cups–yeah sure. Please don’t give him any ideas… 😉
    …I’m emailing him as soon as I finish this comment… rofl

  10. But don’t you just love it when a man is resourceful?
    I do indeed….just not on my nice dishes. There are old coffee mugs sitting in the garage waiting to go to GoodWill – he could have used one of those; he just didn’t want to walk that far. LOL

  11. That is hysterical! That is too funny! I’m just wondering what he’ll do next!
    Don’t even think it!!! It’s too painful to imagine… you wouldn’t believe some of his past antics and he just gets this innocent look on his face like it truly was a good idea at the time. I do the eyes-rolling-back-in-my-head trick.

  12. Oooo. This is so hysterical. I am loving your blog. Just when I thought I have lost interest in blogs, wordpress reels me back in by covering yours in freshly pressed.
    awww thanks so much! I’m glad they freshly pressed me, too – gives me lots of opportunities to meet nice new folks such as yourself!! 😉

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