It was to be a simple procedure. My dentist, the esteemed Dr. Torquemada, assured me that dental technology is so advanced these days, a root canal (which used to put fear into the hearts of every person 20 years ago) was a routine procedure. He also reassured my fears (read: he gave me Valium) and patted my hand, telling me it would be pain-free (hello? needles?) and would not take long at all.
He was so wrong. My rootine (lol) root canal turned into a root canyon and even though he had on those cool hi-tech glasses, I think his GPS kept correcting routes (roots? get it? rofl – pain meds & blogging = so much fun)
You see most people have a tooth (well, actually most people have more than one tooth except for a few from certain areas of Kentucky) and that tooth has one root. When a root canal is requred, the dentist drills out that one root and all is peachy.
I, on the other hand, am always different. Always. I am a nonconformist. My 16 faithful readers know this to be true.
So living up to my reputation, my achey-breaky tooth had not one, but THREE roots. Oh crap on a crutch. This was not going to be a quick appointment.
Dr Torquemada and his backup band set to work at 10 a.m. and I walked out of the office at about 1:15 p.m. dazed, with a terribly stiff back, and feeling as if that big roller machine that smooths out the asphalt on streets had run back and forth on the side of my face…and then went back a few more times for good measure.
The good news is I should be able to chew again on that side of my mouth soon. The better news is my dental insurance should pick up most of the $1400 bill. Yes, I said $1400. Ridiculous – how badly I feel for those without any insurance. I only had to cough up a co-pay of $120 and was very grateful.
Don’t get me wrong — I truly like my dentist; he’s very kind, patient, and truly understands those of us who have had traumatic dental experiences in the past. (My childhood dentist was a ringer for Vincent Price – need I say more?) That’s why he hands out the Valium and he’s happy to write a prescription for pain meds, too. You see, God made pain medicine for a reason and I am not one who “suffers in silence” nor do I “man-up” – I take the meds and conk out. Smart cookie.
So here I am at the stage of my life where I share my medical stories with you. I find that frightening and pitiful. You, my faithful readers should be happy it was only a root canal procedure I went through….sigh…