I’ve been putting this off as long as possible but it is inevitable. I have to buy a replacement for my P.O.C. small SUV. With this decision looming in front of me, I am becoming
a total nutcase a raving lunatic quite the interested and savvy consumer. ack
I bought my current car because I was a little
peeved rather angry totally torked off flippin’ furious at the Saturn dealership servicing my much beloved Saturn Vu. I found out by accident that service they claimed to have done hadn’t been done and I was actually driving a car whose engine was about to explode from lack of care. But that’s another story.
Given my past history, I’m a little car-shy… I don’t know what to buy…or how deeply should I put us into debt for the car that takes us all over the country since I now refuse to fly because I don’t wish to have my private parts fondled nor do I want to be x-rayed till I’m nude and visible to Bubba-in-the-back-room (but again I’m straying…) It’s time to buy a car and I’m perplexed…what the heck do all those symbols on the front of cars today actually mean anyway? Why can’t this just be simple? Point and click simple?
I went straight to my Ace Mechanic (I know he’s Ace because he’s the nephew of Buffy the Mane Slayer who, you may recall, takes such wonderful care of my flowing tresses – apparently Buffy told her nephew to take very good care of me or she would hurt him.) So I say to Ace Mechanic….”This P.O.C. car is starting to nickel and dime me to death and now you tell me my next requirement is a new ($$$$$) air conditioner/heater compressor and a new battery….I’d just as soon sell this puppy and buy another car; what would you suggest?”
Ace Mechanic hooks his thumbs in his belt (he’s very cowboy-ish) and says: “Well, I’m a Dodge man, myself, but I’d think seriously about a Toyota or a Honda. You can’t go wrong with a Honda — I got a Honda Pilot that comes in here for regular maintenance and it’s got over 400,000 miles on it.” To that I replied: “Even given all the media about the recent recalls (and I think my eyes bugged and I also gasped)?” Ace Mechanic nodded his head and simply said, “Yup.”
Big help…Ace Mechanic. So I turn to my next best resource….Devoted Spouse. This is how it works. I sit on the family room couch watching tv. He reclines in his comfy chair with his laptop on his lap. I arbitrarily holler out the name of a car I see on a commercial and he immediately looks it up online; telling me the safety ratings, customer reviews, gas mileage, colors, price, and how many Weight Watcher points it has — no wait; that’s food. Sorry.
What’s happening is I’m on vehicle overload. I need to test drive some cars and I want something that will last for a long, long time. I want my old Saturn Vue back. But that isn’t going to happen. I need reliable transportation that isn’t as small as one of those teeny Smart cars nor as big as a gas-guzzling Suburban — something in between. That’s a lot of leeway.
I’m putting it off because I don’t know if I can summon up Evil-Linda (I put her in storage after buying my current car). When I bought my Kia Sportage, I intimidated the heck out of the saleslady because I was so belligerent (in a quasi-nice way) about getting what I wanted for the price I wanted that she got to the point she would have given me anything just to get rid of me. I know she drank her supper that night – but I drove away with a car on which she didn’t make a monstrous profit — bwahahahahaha.
So back to the symbols on the front of the cars — what is that on Toyota? A skinny face with a bad cowboy hat or a small sombrero? I don’t get the Chevrolet symbol either — it’s a weird elongated T shape – what the heck is that about? Subaru has stars on the front of their cars; both Honda and Hyundai use a variation of the letter H and I keep getting them mixed up. At least Ford says FORD right on the front. My Kia say KI…and then it looks like an upside down V which I guess is their cute version of an “A”? Just put an “A” in it and spell KIA for goodness sakes.
I’m so confused…I have until the end of the year to find a really good deal on a new or sort of new car and I’d rather suck a diet pepsi through my nose than have to go through this trial…sigh…