For at least the millionth time this afternoon, as I was driving close to my neighborhood, I passed this:
Now I know that pic might look a little odd — but since I don’t have any fancy-shmancy PhotoShop stuff, I simply cropped it to keep the license plate private (I don’t want this guy coming after me). Anyway….on to the story.
Most days I wander down this country road to get where I’m going. Now this country road has some nice little houses on it that sit across the street from a cornfield — about a half mile down the road from my own neighborhood. In the front yard of one particular house you will find the above-shown Jeep marked For Sale. I take no issue with this person trying to sell a vehicle.
I take exception to the fact that this car is on the lawn and has been parked in the yard of this house for months and months. In fact I think it’s been there since before our current Presidential Administration. The sale price (as you can see) is $8,200. Now, I can’t tell how old this Jeep is — I do know it’s one of the cute ones with the top that comes off and it looks like it’s in okay condition. You can’t tell from this pic but it has gigantic wheels on it, so someone has been doing some serious off-roading, or they’re just a Bubba and want to look cool.
Speaking of Bubbas….this is a nice respectable area. We don’t put our old washing machines or our busted-springs couches on our front porches. Thankfully, we have given up the whimsy of the concrete goose (complete with different outfits). We are a normal suburb — in fact my neighborhood is boring, with the exception of my house because it’s now painted yellow and blue much to the horror of all my beige-loving neighbors…but that’s another story.
My point here is this car is not selling. Not for $8,200. It’s time to mark it down, donate it to the Salvation Army, or list it on Craigslist or eBay. Cars were never meant to be lawn decorations. Heaven knows there are enough pink flamingo ornaments and those ugly brightly colored gazing balls to go around. We’re good on lawn decorations. Wanna sell the car? Go put it in one of the lots where other people show their cars for sale. There’s a lot at the local Air Force Base. There’s a place in the shopping center other folks use to sell their cars. Or you could take that big leap and park the danged thing in your driveway. Just get.it.off.the.lawn.
I have this big fat black Sharpie pen that I dearly love to write with coz it makes BIG BOLD LETTERS. There’s this idea percolating in my silly head. It involves me, the Sharpie pen, a big piece of cardboard, and a zombie run late at night to do my version of price slashing for him. I so want to write: WILL TRADE FOR GARDEN GNOME…sigh…