Hey Santa! News Flash For Ya

According to the CEO of Wal-Mart, this Christmas morning what you will find under your Christmas tree will be lots of underwear and socks.  Excuse me?  Underwear and socks?  Not under my tree, thank you very much.

The relatively new CEO, Mr. Simon, sees Americans as cautious this year what with all this recession stuff still going on and people without jobs.  Okay – I can understand that.  But, he also stated he wishes to reverse Wal-Mart’s five straight quarters of declining revenue and one of the ways he can accomplish that goal is to stop what we see on commercials all the time — that lovely “Rollback Pricing” where the little yellow smiley face that I have come to hate so much I want to slap, rolls back prices and everyone quickly runs to Wally World to buy, buy, buy.

This year, Mr. Simon is not rolling back prices.  But he expects us to shop at his stores — so mark my words, if you think you’re saving money by buying socks and underwear at Wally World this year for Christmas….think again.  I’m betting those prices are going up, up, up.

But that’s not really the point is it?  No.  The point is WHO wants to get underwear and socks for Christmas?  Not me.  Not by a long shot.  In fact, if I find socks and underwear in my stocking this Christmas….well that underwear darned sight better come from Vicky’s Secret if ya know what I mean.  Socks and underwear for Christmas.  That’s downright un-American.  Yeah, the Joy of Socks…

Hey – we’re on a budget too.  We’ve been saving out pennies and tightening belts and our Christmas will NOT include socks and underwear.  Actually, I’ve already purchased a few goodies for Devoted Spouse such as….oh wait…he reads this blog.  Nevermind.

This reminds me of my childhood — you see my parents were Depression-era folks.  They understood what it was like to do without – truly.  By the time they got around to Christmas for my generation they still had that Depression-era mindset and every Christmas morning my brother and I would wake to one lousy toy, clothes, and here’s what was in our stockings….nuts and oranges.  If I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’.  Nuts and oranges.  Now, really, what child wouldn’t be absolutely thrilled with nuts and oranges?! Especially when that same child can go down to the local Safeway and buy nuts and oranges.  Took me years to get them to understand that stockings were for honest-to-goodness goodies like chocolates, and small toys.  In their minds they remembered when it was a treat to have a real orange.  I finally had to get a friend’s mom to talk to the stepmother to get her to understand that nuts and oranges were just not right.  The following year we got more toys, books, and goodies in the stockings – yeah baby.  No more socks and underwear either…well, except from my great Aunt Margaret but she worked at this upscale ladies’ boutique and her presents were fancy with lace and stuff that horrified my stepmother.  Heh Heh – I loved Aunt Margaret and her fancy-wrapped gifts.

Anyway, Devoted Spouse knows the Christmas stocking is for cutesy things like chocolate, lottery tickets, and diamonds (well a girl can hope).  If he wishes to shop at Wally World for my gifts, well I wish him luck because I was there not long ago and I didn’t see anything that struck my fancy.  I wouldn’t mind a gift certificate from a certain bloggy-friend-jeweler I know, though.   The day he fills my stocking with grocery store produce is the day I put all his Craftsmen tools on eBay….sigh…


5 thoughts on “Hey Santa! News Flash For Ya

  1. Christmas?! Wait! We’re talking Christmas already!? LOL! I’m still trying to figure out what to get My Lovely Wife for her birthday in October! LOL!

    Great post Linda! I wonder if your Devoted Spouse will make a trip to Victoria Secrets. 😉
    I’ve seen Christmas stuff out already – hate that – way too early. And as for Vicky’s Secrets…a girl can hope!!! Only Santa knows if I’ve been naughty or nice….. giggling

  2. Hey let’s face it the best things come in small packages, and unless my feet shrink, socks ain’t it, and as far as the underwear, well, let’s just leave my a** out of this. Haha
    With my new hawt bod…I am so wanting “pretties” so I’m putting on my list a gift cert to Vicky’s Secret…. c’mon no granny panties here!!! This year it’s lace and Jewels by Sueanne (then again I have been a little naughty so will have to see what Santa thinks…and if Santa doesn’t come through…I’m gonna sic Deb on his red felt a**) rofl

  3. My late father-in-law would ask for socks and underwear for Christmas and be thrilled to get them. His birthday was on Christmas Day, and he was just like a little boy. But simple things like peanuts and candy would make him happy. My mother-in-law is happy with stationery and support hose. They were Depression-era children…maybe that’s part of it.

    The best Christmas present I can give myself is to stay the hell out of Wal-Mart. (Why do they put in 24 check-out lanes when they only man 3 of them?)
    People who lived through the Depression have a completely different mindset than ours. I saw it in my father and stepmother and their parents too. It was often scary the lengths to which they would go to use something up or save scraps of this and that. My generation became the ‘throw-away’ generation and it took many years and another generation to get the ‘eco’ sense we are slowly learning now. I stay out of Wally World generally — most of the merchandise is crap from overseas, and I agree there’s never a cashier when u need them. 😉

  4. Ha! Oranges and nuts were traditional stocking stuffers when I was a kid, too! Along with a candy cane, a book of Lifesavers and McDonald’s gift certificates.

    Nowadays, I never know what I’ll discover in my stocking on Christmas Day. Sometimes, it’s a jar of olives (I’m serious) and always, always a CD of a band I dislike intensely. It’s almost (but not quite) become a joke to see what wacky item I’ll find.
    Interesting — we do the wacky stuff too for stocking stuffers – the dumber the better – but I always like the scratch-off lottery tickets – it’s become a tradition.

  5. I’m so sorry but I can’t get past the image my mind produced when you said, “our Christmas will NOT include socks and underwear” – that sentence is just so wrong!!!!

    Our stockings are so stuffed full of cute little things (lotto tickets always included) the nails in the wall protest. They used to be completely empty Dec 24 and full Dec 25 but the last few years, each day the stockings seems to grow/thicken but no one ever sees anyone near them…
    FOFLMAO – I never looked at that sentence in quite that way — only YOU would. Pressing on….. we have these cute stocking holders that are made of cast iron and sit on the edge of the mantle – one is a Santa and the other is a Christmas tree and they have a hook at the bottom to hold the stocking. Never had one fall yet. Did have one of the holders fall on my foot one year — yeah that was fun. snort

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