Theme Thursday – Brush

Once upon a time in a land far away (okay it was Belgium) there lived a lady who was always getting into a fix.  Sometimes she had a difficult time getting out of the fix.

One particular time she found herself on a plane from New York to Brussels, Belgium.  At the time the lady’s Devoted Spouse was a Colonel in the United States Air Force.  Stationed in Belgium (the southern part which is truly the armpit of the world, no offense intended to all of you who hail from Belgium…but it’s true), the lovely lady often needed to get to the States and back to Belgium again…hence this particular day and this particular flight.

The lovely damsel had a ticket for Business Class; that amazing section in front of Cargo….where one is actually served fresh fruit and all kinds of lovely food on real china with real silverware.  The lady had a nice seat which was very comfy but, unfortunately, her seatmate had a slight…hmmmm…how shall I gently put this?  Aw crap – he smelled like a goat.  It was going to be a long 7-hour flight and this damsel was in distress.  She inquired sweetly of the flight attendant “Are there any other empty seats I might take?”  The flight attendant smiled kindly and said she would check.  She never returned.

Shortly thereafter, the damsel looked several aisles ahead of her and was amazed to find her Devoted Spouse’s boss, The General and he was waving at the damsel!  Gasp!  The General!!!  On the same flight!  “Hi Linda!”  The General bellowed across the aisles in the direction of the damsel in distress back in her smelly location.  “Hey!”  “There’s an empty seat up here, c’mon up and sit with me!”  The damsel was both elated and horrified at the same time.  She so wanted to get away from smelly man and yet to sit in the presence of Devoted Spouse’s boss The General was just slightly intimidating.  She grabbed her purse and flew up front like nobody’s business and plopped her cute self down in the available window seat next to The General.

The flight was delightful — the two fast friends snacked, watched a movie, took naps, had lovely conversations, and read books together and the 7 hours flew by.  Suddenly the plane was landing in Brussels and it was time to disembark.

Walking together through the airport, the lovely damsel and The General approached their parties simultaneously; the damsel approached her waiting Colonel; The General strode up to his military Aide.  When asked by her Devoted Spouse…”How was your trip?”  the aforementioned damsel responded with…”Well now I know what it’s like to sleep with a General.” 

Horror ensued.  The look on the Aide’s face was one of total shock; the look on the damsel’s Colonel (possibly-soon-to-be-Airman-First-Class-because-of-his-wife’s-stupid-mouth) was one that cannot be described.  There are not enough descriptive words in the English language to fully explain to you the look on that man’s face.

The General laughed and the damsel laughed, both realizing it was a very funny remark and that damsel was a very witty woman indeed.   The military Aide and the accompanying Devoted Spouse Colonel just kept on walking and looking straight ahead.

What you may ask has this to do with Theme Thursday?  It was the closest BRUSH the damsel ever had with divorce…sigh…

Other Theme Thursday posts are here

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8 thoughts on “Theme Thursday – Brush

  1. Hey there Linda!
    I love this story! It reminds me of how I shocked an entire congregation once. It was in the midst of all those scandals of Pastors and other men of the cloth running off with their administrators. At the time, my wife was also my office administrator. So one Sunday morning I boldly announced from the pulpit – “For the record, I want everyone to know I DO sleep with my office administrator!” – First there was a quiet hush over the congregation. Then everyone laughed when they figured out who I was talking about.
    Dr. Rus
    Funny stuff! Love it. 😉

  2. THAT would spark a divorce? No way! It’s just too funny! Of course the General laughed; he wasn’t born the day before… And now I can go hit my pillow with a smile. Thanks, damsel. (And I was born in Belgium.)
    Bon jour Francisca, ca va? No, I was exaggerating a bit; we were never close to divorce – although the look on his face was priceless. I knew – I simply KNEW that as soon as I mentioned the part of Beligium in which I resided was the armpit of the world, someone from Belgium would appear on this blog. I knew it! I don’t mean to offend you – but where we lived really was a squalid, sad, depressed area where the natives never wore deodorant, spoke the most horrendous dialect of guttural French which I never was able to fully understand. The locals loathed Americans, stole our flag right off the property, and I actually had a shopkeeper in downtown Mons slap my hands because I had the audacity to touch his display of produce. Plus, we were besieged by nasty dirty gypsies who would steal anything not nailed down! The only saving grace was the fact we lived in a several hundred year old chateau which I adored. Madame and Monsieur Marten lived in a separate part of the chateau. She was delightful (and spoke Flemish). He, on the other hand, was usually drunk and followed me all over the property trying his best for a grope. Ugh. However, up in Brussels and in Brugges were the loveliest people ever — the top half of the country is lovely, the lower half abysmally depressing — I stand by that statement. Sorry. I AM glad you stopped by though — hope I haven’t driven you away permanently. And, I’m happy I made you smile!! Au revoir!

  3. Excellent story! And it must have been a tense ride home, but so worth it!

    Happy Theme Thursday!
    Yes, I do believe it was a tad tense. LOL Thanks for stopping in! 😉

  4. Wonderful antidote… I mean, anecdote. (Yeah, I admit it; I read the post below this one.)
    …antidote… lol I’m glad you enjoyed and thanks for visiting me!

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