Duggar Needs a Dug-Out…or Anybody Got Some Womb?

DISCLAIMER: This is a humor blog & I am about to make fun of someone & their body parts. Get over it. It’s what I do.


This is a normal healthy uterus

this one belongs to Mrs Duggar

My local paper informs me that the famously full family also known as the Duggars would be pleased as punch to welcome Baby No. 20 into the fold…the famously full fold.

Are you kidding me?  After Baby No. 19 came out screamie preemie???  Do they not realize this poor woman has been barefoot and pregnant for most of her adult life now?

I wonder….does she use some type of device or suspenders or a womb harness to prop up that tired uterus so it doesn’t hang down to her knees coz it sure as heck can’t be springing back every time….not after 18 passages the size of a watermelon (and one small exception in teeny tiny No. 19).  No wonder she’s always in a long dress.  Think stretch — same as elastic — it only goes so far for so long.  It’s called excess wear and tear compounded by gravity.  Womb Droop.  Serious problem.  Hard to wear Daisy Dukes when you have a severe case of Womb Droop.

I’m picturing a discussion between her fallopian tubes as they plot  how to push those eggs back up where they belong coz the uterus is begging…..Noooooo…..Nooooooo….. not again….anything but this.  Let’s send her some of those Scrubbing Bubble guys to keep the womb walls nice and clean so no eggs stick and end up fertilized by the swimmers we know Dude Duggar keeps cranking out.

Ya’ll remember how Walton Mountain good-nights were enough to make you wanna poke your eyes out? Imagine the good nights in the Dugger house.  They all start with the letter J….maybe they say Good Night J-1 to J-19  and they’re done with it. Sounds like a Bingo game gone wrong.  How do you remember that many names?  I bet they mumble them under their breath.

If they pop one more out I suggest the  name Jello coz that’s what that poor lady’s insides must be like by now…sigh

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Duggar Needs a Dug-Out…or Anybody Got Some Womb?

  1. Well, in the neighborhood I grew up in, we DID have this one woman that had 13 kids. She was like 5 ft 2″. A redhead. It was nuts, so I can’t imagine 20!!! I will say the kids were all really nice and that house was run like a well oiled machine and always cleaner than mine. And my mom is/was like Martha Stewart, so you can only imagine.

    I’m getting cramps just thinking about 20 kids. Oye Vey.
    Yeah there is the built-in babysitter and cleaning crew factor…but sheesh 19 should suffice. It’s not like we need to repopulate the world after the Flood ya know.

  2. There was a family in my town where I grew up that had had 18 kids by the time I graduated high school. However, 6 had died. Never did hear if they family had any more, but I wouldn’t doubt it… and no, no relation to Duggar, lol.
    It just makes me shiver – what’s the $$ it takes to raise one child these days – a couple hundred grand? Guess all those kids are getting scholarships coz just feeding and clothing would do in the budget I’d think – although they’re big on hand-me-downs, thrift shops and I think she cans alot of her own food. I’d like to see the water bill for all the laundry they must do!!! yikes!

  3. Oh my god, I am laughing so hard right now!

    ‘Goodnight, J1-J19’ Ha! Ha! Ha!

    Though seriously, 21 people would be saying that, right? I mean, are there 19 kids and the two parents? So that’s still about 20 people saying ‘Goodnight, J1-J19’.

    Holy cow, if each person said goodnight to each person it would be morning by the time they’re through. Then they’d have to start with ‘Good morning’ and then it’d be afternoon…when do the parents have the time to make the next litter?!

    Holy cow!

    I’ve seen an episode or two of the show and they do seem like nice, well-raised, good people and Heaven knows we need as many of those around but still…give some other woman the chance. Yikes!
    The only difference here among these folks and Octomom or Kate+8 is they seem to have some family values working in their favor – but enough is truly enough. I think they’re responsible for global warming to be honest… snort

  4. Maybe they should take in 10 more kids in their Duggar commune…Jon and Kate and Co. What a ratings bonanza!
    A commune or a kibbutz – let’s start that hippie thing happening again! lol At least in this commune there is only one wife unlike some other places around the country – ugh!

  5. You know I have always thought that being pregnant must be so special and beautiful, to have this precious life growing inside you – being part of and totaly dependant on you is just so amazing. But to have twenty children is ridiculous, she must never be able to spend those quiet magical mother & child moments with them because she wouldn’t have the time. It’s quite sad really.

    I love the term “Womb Droop” – very funny 🙂

    What are Daisy Dukes?
    Uh-oh some “across the pond” translation is necessary here. There was an old American tv show called The Dukes of Hazard which was about some southern boys and their cars, etc, in Kentucky and the girl on the show wore these cut-off blue jean shorts that were EXTREMELY short – like almost showing her butt – and her name was Daisy Duke…hence if some female is wearing extremely short ripped off blue jeans shorts we call them Daisy Dukes. good? lol See why Mrs. Duggar couldn’t wear Daisy Dukes now? rofl

  6. Would it matter if I was offended? You know how sensitive I am…

    (this was funny…and I loved the photo putting it together!!!!)
    No, MTAE, actually, it wouldn’t because humor is subjective — and you can’t please everyone — I learned that from a friend of mine who’s also a stand-up comic btw… 😉

  7. HI! Thanks for stopping by my blog from WOW. I’ve read several of your blogs and they are quite hilarious! Love the pictures and “womb droop”.
    Hi sweetie – nice to see you! Glad you got a giggle – it’s what I live for. 😉

  8. LOL!!! I have 3 and my stomach sags a bit.. Anywhoo. I have seen on the interwebs about her other blogs poking fun at her ( no pun intended)saying that its a “Vagina not a clown car”
    Now THAT’s funny!!!!

  9. Oh Linda, you crack me up. I really need to get over here more often, you are so freaking funny. Love your sarcasm, it’s awesome. A womb harness, LMAO…

    BTW, if you are interested in earning some small dollars for your writing, let me know. Nothing huge-mendous, just some lunch money, LOL. I know several bloggers who have made a few dollars writing articles for this one women’s website — they just accepted an article from me that wasn’t too terribly funny, more on the serious side. But they do love the funny articles, and you’d be a natural fit for them!
    Hi baby – I’m so glad I can make you smile. I’d dearly LOVE to make $$ from writing I simply can’t seem to take that first step — where to start?! 😉

  10. Take Oz Girls advice and submit one of your blogs. You are hysterical! I love, love, love this post. You expressed my feelings on this subject perfectly and with much more humor.
    Hi babycakes – you would of course suggest that I submit my writing….you are, after all, one of my 12 faithful readers. lol I need to send OzGirl an email and see what the gig is – ya’ll know I love to write. But writing on demand is different and much more difficult for me. I’m happier when the ideas just pop into my feeble brain and then jump onto this (or one of my other 2) blog. It’s so hysterical – I actually clicked the “Like” button – so I LIKE my OWN POST. What a hoot!!!!! snort.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s