Beware the Killer Beavers

I always thought beavers were rather harmless (except to your local pond environment) cute, little, furry creatures that one might happen upon swimming out on the pond or across a lake one day.  I’ve seen them in this area and I’ve seen them years ago at my grandmother’s home which had a rather large man-made (and fish-stocked) pond out back.  Beavers are mascots in many places.  In my own hometown the Beaver is the local high school mascot, but that’s not germane to this story.

Apparently the other day a man was fishing and supposedly minding his own business (I’m raising one eyebrow here, you just can’t see it) when a monster, gigantic, 40 lb beaver came after him – literally attacking him and biting him on the arm and doing quite a bit of harm.  I’m not making this up – here’s the link – it’s a true story.

At first I thought it was hysterical – c’mon we’re talking about a rodent for cryin’ out loud —  here’s this guy fishing and he obviously gets too close to a beaver’s den and mama comes after him.  Then I saw the article and got to thinking about it and while it’s still funny in ways, I do feel sorry for that guy.  He had to get rabies shots.  Ick Factor 10.

You see I had no idea whatsoever that beavers got that big – I mean my dog EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer, weighs 75 pounds, so this beaver is roughly half the size of her…and that’s just danged big.

So I go out to that fabulously scholarly and worthy site (yes that’s sarcasm) Wikipedia and look up “beavers” and I found out these puppies can get as big as 55 pounds and you DON’T want to mess with them.  But then again messin’ with beavers could lead to a whole ‘nother story and we just don’t want to go there… (think Tiger Woods)…so focus here people…I’m talking about an ANIMAL, not…well…you-know.  Ack, how do I get myself out of this….

Oh – so back to Wikipedia and what do I also find – some very interesting tidbits on beavers.  For example…did you know that from beavers come  something called castoreum, a “bitter-tasting secretion with a slightly fetid odor contained in the castor sacs of male or female beaver” and it’s used in medicine and in perfumes?  Yup – the castor sac of the male beaver happens to be located in his lil ole testicles (poor guy) and some Bubba grabs said beaver for those testicles.  Yikes!  Furthermore, beaver testicles were imported from the Middle East (read: Lebanon and Israel) from the 10th all the way up to the 19th century for medicinal purposes.  Double yuk.  Ewww, I can just picture the instructions on the Apothecary jar now:  “Tincture of beaver balls….use sparingly.”   Ack. Ack.

But what bothers me most of all is this “secretion”, castoreum is still used in perfume production.  So ladies, gents, think twice before you spritz yourself as you get ready for your date — you could very well be using Eau de Beaver…sigh…


12 thoughts on “Beware the Killer Beavers

  1. Um…ok…so you started the post out talking about how there are killer beavers somewhere in the middle of the country (BTW I saw a number of them when we lived in VT and agree that they looked harmless) but then you strayed into talking about Beaver testicles and I almost lost my breakfast.

    Then I was thinking, it’s somewhat ironic that we are “afraid” of animals until we need something from them and then we rip their testicles off…


    Another great read!!
    Hi sweetie! I thought they were just lil harmless creatures (except for all that dam building stuff) but they DO have big teeth – I had NO idea they would attack, nor did I know their poor lil “stuff” was harvested to put into medicine and perfume. Ugh!!! I know whale blubber and oil may used to be used in cosmetics, I dunno about today — and that “musk” has to come from something ya know? Makes me re-think perfurme that’s for sure. lol

  2. Lake Lanier?! I lived on Lake Lanier 10 years ago. The man must have been way too close to the beaver den, no other explaination for it. Jiminey Christmas!!! I can not imagine being attacked by those freaking humoungous teeth! Those rodents get huge!! 45-60 pounds is average. My dog weighs 30lbs! We have a couple here on this lake. They took down a 6″ diameter tree in a couple hours.
    I’ve seen them here from a distance and years ago at my grandmother’s swimming thru the pond towards the spillway but I had no freakin’ idea they got that big or were dangerous. Stay away!

  3. I think that you are treading on some mighty thin ice here m’lady. I believe that you just adore seeing who will give in first with a slightly off-color remark that you will then deny was your intent because you are always good, doubly so on Sundays, which are close to your words I believe. You are are a sneaky wordsmith teaser aren’t you? I make mascots for a living and I have yet to do a big ol’ beaver but I believe, by god, that I’m gonna do one before long. I’m just waiting for the right model to come along that doesn’t mind being used over and over again.

    How’s that?
    (puts on innocent look)…I think you should use a beaver for a model by all means Keith. (busts out laughing for no reason)…why would anyone deign to make an off-color remark? I was only talkin ’bout rodents…(giggles like a 10-year old). I love words. Words are my life baby – you create with your medium; I’ll create with mine. 😉

  4. So beaver balls seems to work the same way as pheromone, sort of: a secreted or excreted chemical factor that triggers a social response in members of the same species. Maybe that explains baby beavers and why I think Sarah Palin is hot.
    Not goin there Steve…nope not gonna do it. Nuh-uh. 😉

  5. I love your posts…this one is exceptionally funny/cool/informative!! Thanks for brightening my day!
    Oh my (blushes and starts to stammer) ttttthank yyyou so mmmmuch!!! 😉

  6. Well, no wonder the beaver attacked this guy. Probably the last time a human neared the dam, little Johnny Beaver came back feeling rather less than his normally ‘manly’ self and word spread throughout the beaver kingdom…

    Or maybe the attacker was Johnny’s wife…
    Snort…I certainly wouldn’t want some Bubba stealing my sacs… oh ick… rofl

  7. lol. when we lived in raleigh a rabid beaver climbed up into a boat after these guys…been about 10 years ago…funny crazy stuff…eau de beaver…hmmm….
    he climbed into the boat??? ack ack I woulda been beatin the crap outta him w/an oar at the very least! lol

  8. Just what I needed to know. Not really, but oh well. I can use it against someone someday…somewhere.
    gtm (giggle to myself)!
    Great TT, if (more than) slightly disturbing.
    I like to make sure I keep my 12 faithful readers up to date and fully apprised of any and all dangers lurking out there….like beaver sacs. ick I will never look at another beaver and think it’s a cute lil old pond dweller again… ick

  9. eau de beaver sounds really exclusive…smiles
    didn’t think they are that dangerous!
    yeah, I think I’ll pass on that cologne…and stay out of reach of those teeth! thanx for stopping by!

  10. Pingback: Theme Thursday – Brown « Crone and Bear It

  11. Did you hear about the rabid otter that attacked a 96-year-old man on his morning walk earlier this year? No joke!
    Actually, I’d otter not know… snort 😉

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