Okay, I admit it. I’m a popsicle biter. So is Devoted Spouse. We couldn’t simply lick a popsicle if our lives depended on it. We’re biters. Not big biters, mind you, delicate biters…but biters nonetheless.
It’s the same thing with ice cream cones — I will occasionally take a lick but I’d rater grab a small glob of ice cream. I dunno; call me weird. I particularly like to get the waffle cones, bite some of the ice cream, then force ice cream down into the cone so when I finally get to the end of the cone there’s a ton of ice cream there waiting for me. Ecstasy.
I was in Le Bob Evans awhile back where I saw a man order a plain pancake with peanut butter on top of it. He then proceeded to fold that sucker like some kind of taco and eat it with his fingers. I amost got up and slapped him. Pancake blasphemy.
Imagine my moritification a couple of weeks ago as I’m sitting in the family room of a friend. Her husband graciously offers me a Weight Watchers fudgecicle which I also graciously accept (yummy). My friend unwraps her fudgecicle. Her husband unwraps his fudgecicle. I unwrap my fudgecicle. They proceed to take nice little licks from theirs and I glommed down and bit into mine. I quickly sneaked a peek over at the two of them and thought to myself…”how can they do this”? One simply can’t lick a fudgecicle – one has to take a chomp out of it. Not a big ‘half-the-danged fudgecicle’ chomp, but a nice lil bite-sized piece. That’s how you eat fudgecicles. I can’t imagine what they thought of me. That one little incident could threaten a relationship.
I would discuss the virtues of squeezing the toothpaste tube from the bottom vs from the middle, but toothpaste isn’t really food so I’ll veer away from that subject this time (but since I brought it up I’ll tell you I’m a middle of the tube smasher; Devoted Spouse squeezes his tidily from the bottom up). And…it is a serious topic to be discussed another day.
I’ve been this way since childhood and have no intention of changing now. I’ll let you in on another little food secret. Ya know those ice cream sandwiches? Well, ya never eat them straight out of the freezer. Nope…set them down for a few minutes while the ice cream softens. Then you unwrap those puppies, lick off all the ice cream out of the choc cookie sandwich till you think that cookie sandwich will fall apart in your hands – then gobble the rest up.
Guess I’ll have to be the one to write the book on how to do these things correctly… sigh…