Lickers vs. Biters and Other Food Eating Oddities

 

Okay, I admit it.  I’m a popsicle biter.  So is Devoted Spouse.  We couldn’t simply lick a popsicle if our lives depended on it.  We’re biters.  Not big biters, mind you, delicate biters…but biters nonetheless.

It’s the same thing with ice cream cones — I will occasionally take a lick but I’d rater grab a small glob of ice cream.  I dunno; call me weird. I particularly like to get the waffle cones, bite some of the ice cream, then force ice cream down into the cone so when I finally get to the end of the cone there’s a ton of ice cream there waiting for me.  Ecstasy.

I was in Le Bob Evans awhile back where I saw a man order a plain pancake with peanut butter on top of it.  He then proceeded to fold that sucker like some kind of taco and eat it with his fingers.  I amost got up and slapped him.  Pancake blasphemy. 

Imagine my moritification a couple of weeks ago as I’m sitting in the family room of a friend.  Her husband graciously offers me a Weight Watchers fudgecicle which I also graciously accept (yummy).  My friend unwraps her fudgecicle.  Her husband unwraps his fudgecicle.  I unwrap my fudgecicle.  They proceed to take nice little licks from theirs and I glommed down and bit into mine.  I quickly sneaked a peek over at the two of them and thought to myself…”how can they do this”?  One simply can’t lick a fudgecicle – one has to take a chomp out of it.  Not a big ‘half-the-danged fudgecicle’ chomp, but a nice lil bite-sized piece.  That’s how you eat fudgecicles.  I can’t imagine what they thought of me.  That one little incident could threaten a relationship. 

I would discuss the virtues of squeezing the toothpaste tube from the bottom vs from the middle, but toothpaste isn’t really food so I’ll veer away from that subject this time (but since I brought it up I’ll tell you I’m a middle of the tube smasher; Devoted Spouse squeezes his tidily from the bottom up). And…it is a serious topic to be discussed another day.

I’ve been this way since childhood and have no intention of changing now.  I’ll let you in on another little food secret.  Ya know those ice cream sandwiches?  Well, ya never eat them straight out of the freezer.  Nope…set them down for a few minutes while the ice cream softens.  Then you unwrap those puppies, lick off all the ice cream out of the choc cookie sandwich till you think that cookie sandwich will fall apart in your hands – then gobble the rest up.

Guess I’ll have to be the one to write the book on how to do these things correctly… sigh…

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14 thoughts on “Lickers vs. Biters and Other Food Eating Oddities

  1. Always knew you were a weirdo but a nice one and we still love ya.
    Ahhh my 12 faithful readers always understand me….lol xo

  2. Okay, I admit it: I’m a sucker. Lots of slurping, and when it starts to get drippy I do the thing where I tip my head back and hold the popsicle upside-down over my mouth. My people tell me I’m not allowed to eat phallic frozen foods in public.

    However, I’m totally with you on the ice cream business, only I like those styrofoam cones. Those last two bites are the best.

    And your ice cream sandwich trick works really well on Dove Bars, too, especially in the middle of summer, when the Dove Bars stayed in the car too long, and end up refreezing with a bit of a crystallization factor. Let them sit for a minute and they get perfect again.

    P.S. Thanks for swinging by my blog. I left a comment after your comment there but wasn’t sure you’d see it so I thought I’d say something here as well. I guess this officially means I’m not a lurker anymore, huh.
    Oh Gawd one of thoooooooosssssseeeee —— a sucker-outer. I sometimes do that with the first part of the popsicle – suck real hard and get all the juice out. Sheesh this sounds very dirty. heh heh. I thought we already established that you are Faithful Reader #12. So stop with the lurking. Coming back your way to read your comment. Jeez this is as bad as passing notes in school. lol

  3. Ooh, it is? I was homeschooled, so I totally missed out on the passing-notes thing. People are always using school metaphors that go totally over my head. For the past year or so I’ve been playing catch-up, trying to get familiar with the basics of a normal mainstream childhood. So hooray, I consider this a corrective emotional experience.

    Now I’m gonna go run back over to my own blog again because you just said you were headed over there and … wait, am I doing it right? Or is this more like playing tag now? Because I never did that either.
    P.S. Is there a part where we get to cut class and go sneak cigarettes behind the gym?

    I did the public school thing and hated every minute of it – so stifling. I didn’t become a good student until I was an adult so I got my degree in my 40s if you can believe that. I think there is a time for everthing and we have to know when the best time is for whatever it is we need. ooooh heavy. snort. I amend my earlier comment on liking you….. I REALLY like you. you are so original and that’s refreshing. cya soon kiddo. As for cigs I dunno I never did that till I got out of high school. Late bloomer and all that…

  4. I’m a biter, and a middle-of-the-tube squeezer, too! We have so much in common!!! :o) As for ice cream sandwiches, here is where we differ. For me, ice cream has to be firm, and if you can point your tongue (which is genetic, and I can) then you can work the firm ice cream around the cookie sandwich with your pointy tongue, still don’t get too much, then just say to hell with it and bite into the sandwich. I don’t like soft ice cream unless it’s a milkshake! Or unless I stir it up myself, but never by letting it just soften on its own. Never would I take an oreo apart and scrape the cream off with my teeth, and then go after the cookie. I know that’s how the rest of the country does it, but not me. Also, don’t like the double stuff. Too much stuff, IMO, and I think most people disagree with me on this also. Guess we all have our quirky habits!
    Okay kiddo thanks for spinning the big wheel…you got some of the answers right. I can point my tongue too but I don’t like hard ice cream – I don’t like it to melt; I like to stir it up myself. And I DO scrap off the insides of the Oreos and I like the double ones coz you can never have too much stuffins. LOL

  5. LIcker…I get brain freeze when biting
    Oooooh brain freeze — the answer is to take small bites and not too fast. No brain freeze, no sticky fingers as it all melts… 😉

  6. I am a sucker and a licker and a biter, just depends upon what it is and what part of it I am doing. See I am the normal person and I am not sure why you all don’t see that you have to do all three at one time or another. It is just the way it is. There are those that know and those that don’t know. HaHaHaHa Got ya.

    I think there are no rules and I checked the box and it does not say there is any specific rules on how to eat them. So anything goes and we are all normal. See now I messed up your day cause you wanted to be abnormal. HaHaHaHa Got ya again.

    Just kidding.

    God bless
    Snort…the longer we discuss this the stranger it becomes. Wait a minute…what box? I don’t see a box to check. Feeling left out…

  7. I’m not telling. Na na na na na. Okay, the fruit bars box from Dreyer’s. Oh so good.

    GBA
    yummy fruit bars mmmm mmmm

  8. ok. you and I are cut from the same cloth, when it comes to eating ice cream.

    I also recall a chicken wing conversation we had a while back, on facebook. Remember? You like the meaty portion, and I prefer the middle portion.

    Now what about Oreo cookies and Reeses peanut butter cups, hmmmmm? I can only eat oreo cookies INTACT, dunked in cold milk. And I can only eat Reeses PB cups by first nibbling around the circumference, then slamming the entire peanut butter center into my greedy mouth.
    *sigh*
    Only in America.
    Yes, I remember that conversation – now as to the Oreos – I go both ways (watch it!) I like to open them and scrape out all the goo – but what’s really fun is dunkin them in milk just till they almost fall in the milk. Devoted Spouse does the weirdest thing…he puts the whole Oreo in his mouth and then takes a mouthful of milk and waits for it all to melt in his mouth — how he hasn’t choked is beyond me. As for Reese’s – I’m not that big a fan, but when I do eat them I nibble around the edges and then glom onto the middle just like you. See? More people should be like us coz we obviously know what we’re doing… snort

  9. I am definitely a biter too…fudgecicles require such treatment!
    Funny isn’t it..H likes to like his SLOWLY so is only half way through when I am finished!

    Oh and the ice cream bar..YES it’s better a bit melty.
    IMHO when they are straight out of the freezer they have no taste!
    It takes all kinds!
    🙂
    I knew I liked you!!! 🙂

  10. I’ve always been a biter too but I must admit that my mind was initially a little in the gutter when I first started reading this.

    Shame on me …
    Ya know my 12 faithful readers tend to surprise me. I thought for sure this would go straight to gutter comments and discussions. Almost a little disappointed….giggles like the bad girl she wants to be… I’m glad ur mind was initially slightly in the gutter – my faith in you has been renewed. 😉

  11. I am not a biter or a licker I am a sucker. I think sucker in the US means someone who is easily fooled but this is what I mean.

    I get an ice cream cone and nibble the end off, then suck hard on the end of the cone until the ice-cream comes through.

    It’s a lot of hard work but really worth it. Be warned though the cone does get very soggy and is prone to collapse when you least expect it.
    Yes, sucker has both those definitions here. I’m not sure I’ve ever tried sucking ice cream thru the end of the cone — would seem to be a lot of work, but if it makes you happy, then okay!

  12. Not much of an Icecream or Popsicle person.
    When I and the family go out for pizza we get weird looks, all because we fold it in half ( side to side) That is how I was taught to eat it and Hubby being from NJ/NY that is how most New Yorkers eat it. When it comes to the toothpaste for get about it once my kidlets get a hold it I have no choice but to squeeze it from the middle.

    BTW.. How you doing sweetie?? Big hugs and smoochies to Emma Lou 🙂
    Hello dahlink – you don’t do ice cream and popsicles?? That’s downright un-American. LOL As to pizza – I’m sorry but I NEVER understood why someone would FOLD their pizza – it’s not laundry for pete’s sake – it’s pizza – just pick it up and eat it. sheesh. (giggling) Big hugs to you and EmmaLou sends lotsa slurpy doggie smoochies ur way!

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