Hurry This Offer Won’t Last Long!

image courtesy of Reuters

Okay, if it works for Fergie, it may work for me…so here’s the deal.  Gimme $75,000 and I’ll give you instant and total access to Devoted Spouse.  (makes that hand gesture indicating you should fork over some moolah).

For another measly $25,000 I will give you access to EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.

For another $65,000 I might give you access to me.  Aw crap – you can already find me all kinds of other places.  Nevermind that one.

Wait…for the paltry sum of $10,000 I’ll give you access to my housepainter.  Now THAT’s a bargain.

Stupid royal twerp – and people are actually buying her childrens’ books???!!!  For the love of all that’s good in this world….kick her off the island.  Send her back to the UK and let the Queen put her in the Tower. 

And to think I always rather liked the spunkiness of Fergie…oh how the mighty have fallen.  Now…where’s my cash?  sigh…


5 thoughts on “Hurry This Offer Won’t Last Long!

  1. $25K? I thought all I would need to get access to EmmaLou was a peanut butter bone.
    Yeah, but ya gotta get past ME first buckaroo. ROFL

  2. Will you take £5000 and access to “E” in part exchange for access to Emmalou?

    I can trade you access to Hannah (good hair stylist) for access to DS providing he can trace and mend the annoying squeak from the back of my car.

    If anyone wants access to me I am looking offers around £2.50 can’t offer much but have been told I cook a mean lasagne.
    Oooh I love a girl who can negotiate! Get over here and help me buy a car! LOL DS could prob help with the squeak – unfortunately I have Buffy the Mane Slayer whom I could never leave. You my sweetie could have free access to the whole flippin’ family anytime you wanted!!! love ya, mean it!

  3. That Fergie character was always a bit shady. sheesh.
    But I do like her red hair. It’s almost as nice as yours!
    gee thx for the compliment! I always enjoyed the antics of Diana and Fergie – the Royals were always so stuffy – but this time I’m thoroughly disgusted by her and think she has done irreparable harm to herself and others. Just shows that mankind is indeed greedy. Sad. xo

  4. I think when she did the weight loss ads, she was put down for doing it, she did an interview where she said she has bills that need to be paid, and the Royals had pretty much cut her off after the divorce. So I am sure that in her not so smart mind she will be able to justify what she has done.

    Now I have put ads online for what I am worth and there was such a great response that I quit working and have been living this life of luxury. Then I discovered that it took money to pay for this lifestyle and not just a lot of words telling me how wonderful and fantastic of a person I am. I was shocked. I had to spend quite a few years seeing a therapist because I had grown up believing in all those fairy tales, and not one of them mentioned that the beautiful heroine needed money to live happily ever after.

    I thought that once I found my prince, that he and I would live in the magical kingdom and have all of our wonderful subjects providing everything for us until we died a few thousand years later. Then the therapist tried to make me face reality. I told him to get screwed and he offered himself on a platter and wanted me to actually pay him for the session. I told him to get screwed again and then he brought a friend to watch me getting screwed by him. They then put it on YouTube, made a lot of money, and are now both living happily ever after.

    Bills suck, being an ex-princess sucks, jobs suck (at least I have been told and not having one does not make me an expert on that one), fairy tales suck, and truly the lying prince sucks the most. But hidden cameras suck even more, and she surely should have had some common sense to know that there was a possibility of a hidden camera.

    This is truly a cautionary tale about an ex-princess who should be watching her p’s & q’s where ever she goes. I think all we can do is feel sorry for her, and she does look like she has lost her sanity, just a little. It also reminds one of all these crazy famous people who have fallen so far from grace. Yup, all we can do is feel sorry for them and just pray that they will go away, far, far, away to another land and another time or place. You know to where ever all those fairy tale characters go.

    God bless.

    PS…You should just be like me, I am priceless and no one has enough money to have access to what I have to offer….oh okay, I just give it away for free anyway. Maybe I am not worth as much as I think in my wonderfully fabulous mind…uh, maybe I am an ex-princess too.
    Such a sad tale of the ex-princess who just couldn’t satisfy her lust for everything there ever was. She writes books, she speaks publicly, she should have her bills taken care of, but my guess is she is another overindulgent child living in the body of an adult woman — she should have known better and I am thoroughly saddened by the entire sordid mess. This is not her first public humiliation, nor I expect shall it be her last. But I would never buy her books nor would I publicly support her after this latest horrid exploit.

  5. And all this stupidity from another redhead! The shame…..
    I know…if only she’d been blonde…

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