An article in our local paper alerted me to the fact that several local women were about to be inducted into the local Girl Scout Hall of Fame. I had no idea such a thing existed. But then again I wouldn’t. I’m not a Girl Scout. Did I mention Devoted Spouse was an Eagle Scout? It’s a very big deal. Okay, I’m procrastinating…
I was deemed not worthy of the Girl Scouts. There, I’ve said it…it’s out. The shame of it all. You see it all started when I was a little girl and wanted to be a Campfire Girl. Stay with me — we’ll get to the Girl Scouts soon. Anyway, I wanted to be a Campfire Girl — I really liked the uniforms and the little kerchiefs and my friend in my 3rd grade class wore hers to school. It was so cool. So I signed up – it was easy in those days.
About the time I became a Campfire Girl they had their annual moneyraising campaign — you know all kids are required to sell things these days — well we had to sell cans of peanuts door to door. Really. It was so lame. And people were so rude to us. We were just a couple of little fat kids trying to sell peanuts. You know the inevitable…we got bored. We sat down on the curb and opened a can of peanuts. One can led to another and it was quite late by the time I got home. Wow was my dad ticked off – plus I had peanut salt and stuff all over me – it was obvious I had been on a peanut bender.
The next day I was asked to leave the Campfire Girls. It continues to bring up shameful memories and I still am not that fond of peanuts.
Fast forward a couple of years — we have moved (no, not because of the Campfire Girl incident…at least I don’t think so). I want to join a group – I’m such a joiner. I find a book in the school library – The Girl Scout Handbook. It’s green – I like green. I check out their uniforms – they’re green — did I mention I like green? Oooh…they get badges and stuff and they have cookies. I like cookies.
I talk to dad and the stepmonster and they agree maybe Girl Scouts is a good choice – it will give me “direction.” Little did they know I had inside information…there was a Girl Scout campout coming up and it was going to be a good one – far away and everything. How cool is that. I applied. I talked to whatever they called the lady in charge – Girl Scout Leader? I don’t remember what she was called but she wore this cool uniform too – it was a Girl Scout uniform for a grown woman – thinking back it was kind of dorky. Now wait a minute…if cub scouts have Den Mothers do little Girl Scouts (brownies) have Den Mistresses? Yikes…we need to get back on track here.
Anyway…I wanted very badly to go to that campout with the Girl Scouts. But the lady in charge said I had to be a Girl Scout for a certain amount of time before I could join them in a campout. The nerve! I was good enough to join but not good enough to go on their campout — I had to be on probation?? I was devastated. I had the uniform all ready. I never got to be a Girl Scout. If I couldn’t go on their stupid campout, I wasn’t going to join their silly group of merit badge pimping….whoa let’s not get too snarky. I admit it…I really wanted the cookies in addition to the campout.
So I was drummed out of Campfire Girls and summarily ignored by Girl Scouts deemed unworthy of a simple campout and not allowed to sell cookies. It has left me forever scarred. I still have the Campfire Girls kerchief. But I lost my Girl Scout Handbook.
And you wonder why I am the way I am…sigh