I Just Need Some Wite-Out For My Dashboard…

Rodney Mechanic to the Stars:  “Linda?  You’re not firin’ on all cylinders.”


Rodney:  “I meant your car.”

Me:  “Oops, my bad…So you can fix this can’t you ObiRodney?”

Rodney:  “For you…a little tuck here, a spark plug there…a little fuel cleaner…a hundred gazillion dollars of labor for Carl the Uber Worker…and in 3 hours you will have your car back and it will run like the cheetah it dreams it is.”

Me:  “Cut the crap…how much?”

Rodney:  “Today only $493.28 plus my iced tea.”


I firmly believe the “check engine light” is pre-programmed at the factory to come on at various times just to infuriate the driver and to help the struggling local mechanic. See:  Conspiracy Theory #272.  There is also Linda’s Law:  When you finally pay off the refrigerator it is a given that your “check engine light” will come on.  sigh…


6 thoughts on “I Just Need Some Wite-Out For My Dashboard…

  1. It is also a given that as soon as you make your final car payment and get the pink slip, your car will suffer catastrophic failure.

    When I had my diesel Excursion (I miss that truck SO much), the check engine light decided to put in an appearance. Several trips to the Ford dealership to find out why were absolutely fruitless. There wasn’t any mechanical problems. I agree that the light is programmed to just turn on and drive the car owner circus-freak crazy.
    This car started getting snarky on me as soon as I paid it off and it continues to fight me. I would like to take it to the junk yard and watch the guy in the big magnet machine grab onto my car and hoist it in the air and then let it drop and see how my car felt right about then. I’ll show you check engine light my pretty…

  2. Reminds of when my brakes went out…you got off cheaper. 😉
    Oh, did I fail to mention this is trip number 3…and $493 ain’t the final tally bucko. It’s bleeding me dry. I would rather ride a flippin’ horse at the moment.

  3. My aunt used to own a Jaguar (don’t be impressed it was really old) and the warning light kept coming on all the while so she took it to a garage and asked the mechanic to take the bulb out. It kept going for years after that – so yes I agree with you it is all a conspiracy to get us to part with our hard earned cash.
    My checkbook…or is it checquebook? (giggling) is having an aneurysm at the moment. This car is pressing its luck with me and knows it. One more biggie and out it goes. On its bumper.

  4. I think the check engine light comes on when your mechanic needs some dough who then phones a central number that then sends a signal to your car.
    What’s sad is I can get behind that theory with no problem whatsoever…

  5. My check engine light comes on if someone does not screw the gas cap on with at least three clicks. So far that is the only reason and then they charge me 95 bucks to reset it. The last time I said screw it and took the gas cap and put in on again and again for about 8 times and then the light shut off. And it was free.

    The more crap they put on these cars the more there is to go wrong with them so that they can nickel and dime us to death. I am seriously thinking of getting one of those little elecltric golf carts and driving around in the city in one of those. They are simple, they get you from point a to point b and that is all that matters.

    Or get me one of those three wheel bicycles. Like a grown up tricycle, but where you can carry groceries and things. We might need one of those things if the oil fields are attacked and there is no gas for cars. These bikes will be the hottest commoditiy out there. Or those motorcycles with the little side cart to carry things and extra passengers. We now need to think out of the box. Maybe a four wheel bicycle would be good. Kinda like an Amish bicycle or buggy without the horse. Yeah when I get some extra money I think I will look into one of these contraptions. And the only check engine light that will be going on is when my tummy growls.

    God bless
    I would actually like a Sherman tank but haven’t seen one go on auction lately…

  6. That stupid light comes on when I don’t have any extra money lying around to waste.
    I used to see it on all the time when I had my Saturn.
    I parked my Kia in the garage at the convention center and told it I was going inside to the Auto Show. When I drove home, it just purred. No check engine light. Nothing like putting a little fear in your car. LOL

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