Spilled the Coffee, Sucked up the Dog in the Vacuum…Life Gets Sticky

 As ya’ll know, my life is a series of minor calamities and mishaps.  If there’s a piece of furniture within twenty feet of me I guarantee you I’ll bump into it and bruise some part of me.  I am constantly overdoing things and then I end up walking like a 90 year old lady and sitting on a heating pad like some silly invalid.

Since the demise of the housecleaner — maybe I should rephrase that…since I canned the housecleaner, Devoted Spouse and I have upgraded the old cleaning implements.  We picked up a Shark steam cleaner for the tiled floors and found a sale on a we’re-not-in-Kansas-anymore-suck-up-everything-in-this-county Dyson vacuum cleaner.  We are now fully stocked with microfiber cloths, an upstairs Swiffer and a downstairs Swiffer and a whole host of bottles of Windex and other assorted burn-your-lungs chemicals.  In other words we are a two-person cleaning company and, frankly, our house is looking pretty spiffy.

But in the course of cleaning, stuff happens.  I had to break in both the Shark and the Dyson and I ended up steaming part of the family room carpet (which didn’t hurt it) and that roller ball thingie on the Dyson makes it go in all kinds of directions so I kind of ran into a few pieces of furniture and danged near sucked the daylights out of EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer. While cleaning the mirrors, something wasn’t working right so I had to unscrew the top of the bottle, take out the pump thingie, and of course I knocked over the bottle and Windex went everywhere.  After all was cleaned… being the Type A person I am, I realized I overdid it and had to pull out the Big Bottle of Advil and the heating pad.  It’s no big deal; I’m used to that.  Plus, for all my efforts and bodily discomfort, I had a clean house.

The past few mornings in the interest of marital accord I have been arising first, feeding precious pup and taking her out, and also making the coffee.  Stepford Wife.  To keep the coffee hot a little longer I always pre-warm the mugs with steaming hot water.  This morning I proceed to pour my first cup of coffee into – yes – a cup that is already filled with hot water.  There was coffee and water everywhere.  Out came the cleam microfiber cloths…and I remembered something a friend quoted on Facebook the other day…lyrics to the perfect song for all those days when stuff happens and ya gotta remember that it’s just not a big deal and keep on smiling.  So when you go through the nonsense I go through (and I know you do) just start singing this song and maybe it will help.  It’s true… life gets sticky and ya get bruised up a bit but no matter what it brings, don’t worry ’bout a thing.   sigh…


7 thoughts on “Spilled the Coffee, Sucked up the Dog in the Vacuum…Life Gets Sticky

  1. Oh Crone!
    I know just what you mean. We are in the process of moving. I made myself a cup of coffee and put it in my sippy mug. I took off in the truck to deliver another load of crap to the store your crap place. I picked up my cup went to take a sip and yep you guessed it wrong lid. I had coffee all over me, the truck, the dog, the trees… I had nothing to clean it up with because it was all packed!
    Sweetie just call me Linda… We have free coffee (and it’s really the good stuff) at church and I can’t tell you how many times the lid hasn’t been perfectly in place and as I took a swig it went all down the front of me. It can be such a mess but ya just gotta laugh it off – thank goodness we’re not alone! Good luck on the move – only done that myself a thousand times (military husband) and while I would like to sell this big old house and move further south, we’re gonna stay put a few more years…then I’m heading south whether Devoted Spouse wants to or not! LOL

  2. That “Domestic Goddess” stuff can be dangerous to your health. Well, that’s MY story and I’m sticking to it.
    Cupcake, it’s my story too – the combination of Sharkie-ing the kitchen, hallway, and bathroom PLUS trying out the new Dyson vacuum really did in my back – so I’m turning over those chores to Devoted Spouse and I will put on my Queen tiara and wave my scepter around to point out spots he’s missed.

  3. Isn’t it a lovely feeling though when the house is all nice and clean and everywhere smells fresh. I actually find housework quite soothing.

    Your tale about the coffee bought a smile to my face, I too have my coffee moments, my friend does not take sugar but I having a sweet tooth take two. Sometimes I forget which cup has the sugar and the look on her face is so funny.

    I hope EmmaLou has recovered from her ordeal, give her a cuddle for me.
    Soothing? Sweetie housework is only soothing to me when I’m truly angry — then I clean like a madwoman. Otherwise, housework is painful – remember I probably have a good 30 years on you cupcake! I’m an old broad with creaky joints and a back that doesn’t like to bend! ROFL As to the coffee – it’s the same here — I take mine black and Devoted Spouse puts sweetener in his – when we mix up mugs we make the “icky” faces, too. EmmaLou sends big slurpy doggie smoochies your way!

  4. May I suggest the next time that you overdo the housework to add a couple shots of bourbon to your black coffee the next morning. It will definitely put a spring in your step for the rest of the morning. It only works with straight black coffee though.
    Sounds like a fabulous idea to me, one I will definitely give a shot (snicker)…

  5. Just remember, no driving cleaning implements after the shot of bourbon. Hmmm, where did I put that bottle?
    hic…slurp…nom nommy now where’s that Dyson…

  6. This is EXACTLY why I don’t clean my house.
    yeah, well, someday when I hit the lottery…or find a job…lol

  7. It is pretty confusing the first time you use the Dyson ball thingy. But then you get the hang of it and the suction power on that thing is pretty damn good. Well if I used it more often then I would know that. But I do have to say that it is not as bad on my back as that Z vacuum thingy hubby bought a few years ago. Suction on that thing is good too, but it is a very heavy vacuum and so everyone just uses the Dyson.

    I was watching an infomerical and saw this Haan vacuum/steamer floor cleaner. It costs more then the Shark but seems to do a good job. A little over a month ago, hubby bought me the hand held Shark steamer. It does steam the clothes really nicely. A lot easier than ironing. I have had the older Shark Steamer for a lot of years now and I do like this new one a lot better. Now I just need to do some cleaning…….

    God bless.
    DS maintains I wanted a Dyson coz I like guys with British accents. Hmmm. Well his vacuum works as well as he claims. I should probably get it out and use it again, huh? housework…who cares? LOL

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