I don’t rant too often here – usually I just tell ya’ll stupid stuff but there are days when I just want to announce a few things to the world. This is one of those days. It’s time for Pet Peeves.
- I detest people who are rude to store clerks who are simply trying to do their job. You think it’s easy being back behind the counter bangin’ on some danged computer cash register and smiling through your nasty coffee-breath while you return that item you never should have bought in the first place all the time with a smile on their faces and knowing full well their check is not much more than minimum wage?! Be polite. It won’t kill you; trust me on this. The clerk will be happier; you will be happier; the transaction will go smoother and the thousand people in line behind you who only wanted to buy one item will also be happier.
- Two words: Twitter Art. Two more words: STOP IT! Go buy an Etch a Sketch if you wanna draw and leave Twitter for those of us who actually use words. 140 characters with no letters just hurts my eyes. Gah…
- Devoted Spouse wearing his white hoodie to the dinner table on Spaghetti Night. What are you thinking??? Do you NOT remember the Mustard Incident of 2006? Okay, I know – I do it too – but you spill more frequently. Note to self: buy bib for Spaghetti Night.
- Post Offices who only have one person working the counter at lunchtime which is the busiest time of the day. Come on – you can get at least one more warm body out there — there are 30 people in line for goodness sake. And you keep raising the price of stamps? Get your act together USPS. No bonuses for you!
- Dear drivers: There is a yellow line in the middle of the road for a reason – Stay on YOUR side of it, please. And PUT THE PHONE AWAY! If one more dirty-hasn’t bathed-in-a-week, flannel-wearing driver of a truck that is more rust than anything else throws a cigarette butt out his busted window and it flies right back onto my hood – I will follow you to your trailer and…and…and…and… I can’t print what I will do. God put ashtrays in old pickups for a reason – use yours please.
- Local weathermen who predict doom and gloom and induce panic in all of us. It is the smarmy dialogue I hate the most: Are we gonna get MORE snow for the morning’s commute (raising tone of voice ominously)? Tune in later and I’ll tell you. Tell me NOW, dipwad. And quit being so melodramatic about it. Devoted Spouse and I were out on the town with friends one Friday evening and who do I spot at the bar? Our local weatherman. Devoted Spouse had to hold me back as we left the restaurant because he just knew I was on the verge of going over to that bar and giving that weatherman a SLAP. (I think I’ve mentioned that story once or a thousand times.)
- People who make me take off my shoes when I enter their home. And then they make me wear a pair of their slippers that are all piled up in a basket in the hallway — I don’t know where those slippers have been. Have you never heard of a strong, waterproof RUG at the front doorway where your guests can wipe their feet? Is it MY fault you bought white carpet? I have flat feet – so I have to wear shoes or my arches (or lack thereof) hurt – I mean really hurt – so wandering around your house in slippers is not my idea of a fun evening. Get a good vacuum, a good steam machine to clean tile or vinyl floors and allow me to wear my shoes. (Muddy, or snowy boots do not apply to the above rant.)
Okay that’s enough for one Pet Peeves Day. You are probably on overload already. Go perform a random act of kindness or I may be reduced to retweeting Twitter Art to you. sigh…