I’m Bringin’ Klutzy Back

Yes I snapped this pic, and, no, he didn't spit at me.

I had a marvelous day Monday – went on a photographic outing  (yes the new header is a pic I snapped) and found so many wonderful things to takes pictures of even if I did trip over small logs and run into a wire fence and almost drop my hundred gazillion dollar camera out of the back seat of my car as I was attempting to change to a larger lens as a semi-truck came flying by my open door nearly slicing a third of my butt off  in his haste to be down the road (not that slicing a third of my butt off would be a bad thing…but let’s keep going).  All in all it was fun – I even found a big black bull with a nose ring (ewww) and I used my telephoto lens to get a close up of him all the while hoping he wasn’t getting truly pissed off and would at any moment come charging me and the 2 foot rusted wire fence that was protecting me.  I’m finding photography can be hazardous to your health…especially if you tend toward klutziness.

Klutzy usually happens to me at home or in a crowded store or at church or online or while I’m Twittering or on FaceBook – you get the idea.  While on FB I posted a pic of a covered bridge only I called it a covered barn for which I was severely chastised (read: laughed at like the fool I am) and had to re-post the pic correctly referring to it as a covered bridge since almost all barns are covered.  Gah…klutzy at typing.

Then as I was getting ready for bed I decided to open up one of my goodies that I acquired at my early morning shopping spree at Sephora;  a new bottle of my favorite scent.  Of course it is wrapped in that ever present plastic.  I have these tiny cuticle scissors I keep handy and boy do they ever have sharp points — well I just knew that using those scissors to open the plastic was the perfect answer to getting that bottle open and ready for Tuesday’s spritz – otherwise I would have to use my fingernails and that rarely works to my advantage.  So I picked up the scissors and promptly dropped them and watched as they plummeted to the floor in slow motion right into my foot – literally – the scissors point hit my foot and stuck there.  OW.  Hydrogen peroxide and Neosporin are a girl’s best friend.

The strangest thing I did Monday was discuss a two-way conversation I had with God.  And, no we weren’t using those annoying Sprint walkie talkies. Now in religious circles having a conversation with God is no big deal and happens all the time – but sometimes when I relay these conversations of mine, it sounds a bit odd and nobody believes me because, well, frankly ya”ll know the doctor refilled my prescription for Percocet and when I take those I could be having a two way conversation with George Washington for all I know.  But anyway, being a student of Christianity, I do a lot of praying, and I study my bible and read theological books the size of EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer plus I do a lot of talking to Jesus and every once in awhile I get something in my head that to me is as good as an answer.  I just wish once it would come in Charleton Heston’s voice.  No, I’m kidding.  Anyway, I was talking online to one of my pastors and before I knew it I had told him that last night was a sleepless night for me because I was having this ongoing conversation with God about where I was going and what I was supposed to do.  The interesting part was God actually answered me and told me to get my butt in gear and start serving others and by that I assumed He wanted me to volunteer for something at church.  I assured my pastor that I had NOT taken any meds prior to this conversation.  The klutzy thing is after I had sent the email I realized that even though my pastor is a kind, Godly man, he is going to read this and know that it is time to call the authorities; I have truly gone over the edge, I am having conversations with the Almighty.  Now on FaceBook, you can delete something you “share”, but you can’t delete a message response (FB email).  So I sit here pondering over his possible reaction when he reads my “revelation.”   It could be as bad as my reaction in the bookstore I told you about when I fell over laughing hysterically at the self-help book section.

I am going to church Thursday to volunteer my klutzy services with Devoted Spouse and I will try not to hurt anyone (they have sharp objects there).  Hopefully I won’t set the kitchen on fire.  Then again there is a distinct possibility my church may simply hand me over to the Baptists…


7 thoughts on “I’m Bringin’ Klutzy Back

  1. Ouch! I’m a total klutz too so I know what you mean. Tell them to only allow you plastic safety scissors, keep you away from open flames, and perhaps, wrap you in bubble wrap.

    Love the pictures.
    I have bubble wrap – maybe I should take it with me. And extra band-aids.

  2. Ouch is all I can say to those little scissors, they should come with a danger warning written on them.

    Wow, I want to see the picture of the bull. And please be careful, no picture is worth you having another accident.

    And do not be surprised if your Pastor thinks you having conversations with God and Jesus are normal. Show me where it says that you cannot have a conversation with them. I’ve never seen it written down anywhere.

    God bless.
    Thank you for helping me not feel nutz. Someday I will tell you offline another story that would really freak out my other 9 readers. You are always good for my soul. 🙂
    As to the bull, he was gorgeous and the ring in his nose was so bizarre. I took several very good shots of him and I started to post one in the blog and then I looked at it a little closer and noticed something else rather large hanging in another area of his regal presence that he was no doubt also proud of. Oops – not good to publish. ROFLMAO Leave it to me to notice the nose ring first! Hugs!

  3. Ouchie about the scissor! Be careful! I was a cub scout leader once and always told the boys that when you are carrying a sharp object, just ask yourself, “if I drop it, where would it fall?” LOL.

    Photography IS a very hazardous hobby. I have climbed walls that I would never climb (afraid of heights). I have smuggled cameras where no cameras were allowed. I have run into a store, taken a photo and run out. To a waiting car. I swear I have been this close to being arrested numerous times. My defense would always be this, “but officer! I am an artist! And I just wanted a photo! I just smuggled in a camera! It is not like I smuggled in weapons or drugs!!!” Don’t you think they would let me go free if I batted my eyes and said that?
    Dahlink I can’t imagine anyone being immune to your batted eyelashes!! Lately items fall on me often and it’s painful – one of the worst is a huge bone of EmmaLou’s that she carries around in her mouth, then will come to see me and as I reach out to pet her she will drop the danged thing right on my foot. OW. Maybe I need to bubble wrap my feet…

  4. Well the Big Kahuna was watching over you because it wasn’t an electrified fence.

    Is Golden Destroyer grumpy that she was replaced with a woolen herd on the blog header?
    Hellow dahlink – welcome to my world. Glad you dropped in. Not only was it NOT electrified, he had some kind of mean look on him – I was gonna publish his pic, then like the dork I am I noticed what else beside the nose ring was prominently displayed in my pic – and I’m a little freaked out he was feelin that frisky and I was only about 20 feet away. Thank goodness he wasn’t into redheads… ROFL – As to EmmaLou I patiently explained to her that after all, she DOES have her own page on MY blog. Silly dog. 🙂

  5. Ouch! the thought of those scissors sticking in your foot makes me go all weak at the knees. That must have hurt.

    I think it is lovely that you can have a conversation with God and hear his words as well, that must be special. I would love to hear him speak to me.

    So you have experienced the fun of changing camera lenses. Emms has me well trained, we can change a lense in five seconds. When we were in Portugal I dropped her zoom lense and got that tight lipped look from her. Hows that for being a klutz.

    Take care Linda 🙂
    Hi sweetie – I believe He speaks to you all the time – you just may not be aware that those actions you are taking come from Him. He constantly guides us you know – of that I am very sure! As to the lens dropping – OUCH – they cost so much money I’m glad I didn’t drop mine, just came close. Guess that makes us klutz sisters! LOL Hugs and blessings being sent your way!

  6. You know why I love you? You are the only other person I know that is more of a Klutz than I am. I have bad days but mine don’t usually come anywhere near as eventful as yours are. I have a lot of oops moments that stop short of being deadly. You on the other hand go for the whole enchilada…with extra cheese….love ya’. 🙂
    I’m not denying it. nope, not me, aw crap I just spilled my tea…

  7. That plastic! The bane of the modern consumer. And don’t even think of opening something with the idea that if you aren’t happy you can return it! I think that’s the point behind that hard plastic.
    I hate plastic in all its forms. Wait, except for the plastic known as credit cards. I like that plastic!

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