I had a marvelous day Monday – went on a photographic outing (yes the new header is a pic I snapped) and found so many wonderful things to takes pictures of even if I did trip over small logs and run into a wire fence and almost drop my hundred gazillion dollar camera out of the back seat of my car as I was attempting to change to a larger lens as a semi-truck came flying by my open door nearly slicing a third of my butt off in his haste to be down the road (not that slicing a third of my butt off would be a bad thing…but let’s keep going). All in all it was fun – I even found a big black bull with a nose ring (ewww) and I used my telephoto lens to get a close up of him all the while hoping he wasn’t getting truly pissed off and would at any moment come charging me and the 2 foot rusted wire fence that was protecting me. I’m finding photography can be hazardous to your health…especially if you tend toward klutziness.
Klutzy usually happens to me at home or in a crowded store or at church or online or while I’m Twittering or on FaceBook – you get the idea. While on FB I posted a pic of a covered bridge only I called it a covered barn for which I was severely chastised (read: laughed at like the fool I am) and had to re-post the pic correctly referring to it as a covered bridge since almost all barns are covered. Gah…klutzy at typing.
Then as I was getting ready for bed I decided to open up one of my goodies that I acquired at my early morning shopping spree at Sephora; a new bottle of my favorite scent. Of course it is wrapped in that ever present plastic. I have these tiny cuticle scissors I keep handy and boy do they ever have sharp points — well I just knew that using those scissors to open the plastic was the perfect answer to getting that bottle open and ready for Tuesday’s spritz – otherwise I would have to use my fingernails and that rarely works to my advantage. So I picked up the scissors and promptly dropped them and watched as they plummeted to the floor in slow motion right into my foot – literally – the scissors point hit my foot and stuck there. OW. Hydrogen peroxide and Neosporin are a girl’s best friend.
The strangest thing I did Monday was discuss a two-way conversation I had with God. And, no we weren’t using those annoying Sprint walkie talkies. Now in religious circles having a conversation with God is no big deal and happens all the time – but sometimes when I relay these conversations of mine, it sounds a bit odd and nobody believes me because, well, frankly ya”ll know the doctor refilled my prescription for Percocet and when I take those I could be having a two way conversation with George Washington for all I know. But anyway, being a student of Christianity, I do a lot of praying, and I study my bible and read theological books the size of EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer plus I do a lot of talking to Jesus and every once in awhile I get something in my head that to me is as good as an answer. I just wish once it would come in Charleton Heston’s voice. No, I’m kidding. Anyway, I was talking online to one of my pastors and before I knew it I had told him that last night was a sleepless night for me because I was having this ongoing conversation with God about where I was going and what I was supposed to do. The interesting part was God actually answered me and told me to get my butt in gear and start serving others and by that I assumed He wanted me to volunteer for something at church. I assured my pastor that I had NOT taken any meds prior to this conversation. The klutzy thing is after I had sent the email I realized that even though my pastor is a kind, Godly man, he is going to read this and know that it is time to call the authorities; I have truly gone over the edge, I am having conversations with the Almighty. Now on FaceBook, you can delete something you “share”, but you can’t delete a message response (FB email). So I sit here pondering over his possible reaction when he reads my “revelation.” It could be as bad as my reaction in the bookstore I told you about when I fell over laughing hysterically at the self-help book section.
I am going to church Thursday to volunteer my klutzy services with Devoted Spouse and I will try not to hurt anyone (they have sharp objects there). Hopefully I won’t set the kitchen on fire. Then again there is a distinct possibility my church may simply hand me over to the Baptists…