Project Runway…For Sports Uniforms…Make it Work!

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I’m no fashion maven but I do watch Project Runway and I think they need to devote an entire show to the redesign of the major sports uniforms across the board.

Basketball — what is with the baggy, baggy shorts that hang down past their knees and show some type of weird tight undergarment underneath?  Ick.  Baggy uniforms should go the way of baggy jeans and do-rags – away, away!

Football – oh for the love of Mike – can those pants be any tighter?  I know sometimes I have to lie down on the bed and suck it all in and hold my breath just to get my jeans on, but only when they’ve been through too long a cycle in the dryer.  For these guys – it looks like their pants have been painted on – when they take them off are there permanent bumps where their butts were?  Like when you took off the Barbie dress and the front still stuck out? Ok and I’m not gonna discuss the front of the pants…nope not gonna say a word…

Hockey – let’s leave them alone – I like hockey uniforms – okay I like the goalie uniforms – it’s those pads that look like so much fun to wear.  I’d like some to wear to do the grocery shopping and maybe the nasty old broads in the store wouldn’t keep banging into me with their carts.  I could use a hockey stick, too…Gah…

Skiing or the Dudes Who Do the Luge – Whoa – how do they breathe?  I guess they get enough air by flying down the shute or through the snow.  Yikes – aerodynamics must be big business…

Is there a uniform for Curling?  I’m too busy watching the broom action to look at what the people are wearing. Actually Curling should be out of the sports arena and into the Funniest Home Videos genre coz watching the people with the broom go down the ice in front of the curling thingie is just too funny.  And this is an Olympic Sport.   Makes me wonder what the Committee smokes…

Baseball — I have no outstanding issues with baseball uniforms.  Mostly because I abhor baseball – I know it’s the American Sport so that makes me persona non grata or at the very least un-American.  I do like apple pie, though.

Hey I left out soccer.

Okay…carry on.


8 thoughts on “Project Runway…For Sports Uniforms…Make it Work!

  1. I don’t know what is worse, the hang over the belt line pot belly that men get or the wonderful “appears as if someone blew up a balloon in her pants” look that women like me get. Hmmm…

    I am no fashion maven that’s for dang sure. Lounge pants and t-shirts are what I live in unless I go out then it’s t-shirts and jeans. Besides, no one wants to see me in anything tight, short or clingy. I could scare small unsuspecting children. 🙂
    Hah! Don’t talk to me about fashion — I’m retired. I’m doing good to make sure the clothes I DO pick out are at least clean. LOL

  2. I detest wrestling uniforms most that I have seen don’t leave much room for imagination or they look like some over size panty thong YIKES!! Before any one wears spandex they should fill out some sort of application and have a 7 day waiting period. When I was in School I some what cared about what was “in” but now that I’m a mom it’s more comfort than style The show “what not to wear” would have a field day in my closet LOL!!
    Ewww I forgot wrestling and I now have a visual burned into my retinas. Ewww. Yeah, What Not to Wear would throw out my entire closet and I’d be left in only my knickers and then they’d make me buy new knickers, too! Nevah!

  3. We must be very careful when we bash sports and their wildly over-payed stars. We wouldn’t want to offend them in anyway or they may go on strike again because a few thousand ex-sport fans finally wised up to their all of their BS and quit giving them the time of day and a portion of their income. If I really wanted all of that kind of drama, I would just attend more family get-togethers.

    Now that is out of my system, I shall merrily continue with my day …
    And that’s why I’m glad my family started out extremely small and has mostly died out. I no longer have to tolerate the nonsense and the drama. If only “fans” weren’t so rabid and brain-washed into paying exorbitant prices for tickets and must have merchandise and if only we stopped watching these inflated egos on television so the sponsors would have to drop them…oh crap it will never end, will it? We are all doomed to spend our years paying millions to men who barely got through college and mostly because someone else did the work for them and then they bitch because they blow out a knee and their illustrious career is over and all they have to live on for the rest of their days is the investments which have turned their millions into mega millions and their sports commercials and their car dealerships and I need to go take a blood pressure pill now…

  4. I love the photograph – it is very funny.

    Talking of sporting uniforms I have always wanted to try one of those bat winged thingies that they wear to hover on a column of air. Those suits look so funny.

    I haven’t described the sport very well but it is like skydiving but only six foot off the ground.
    You want to wear a bat-winged hover ensemble. Ok. I’m trying to figure out what sport you hover in the air that is like skydiving but only six feet off the ground – I got nothing. Send more info or a picture, you’re killing me here. ROFL As for me, I want to be in the velcro getup where you run and then fling yourself at the wall of the opposing velcro thingies so you simply stick there. That always looked like an amazing amount of giggles. I thought about the rock climbing walls but I have this height issue and I don’t like being trussed up in ropes around my butt, either – chafing you know. Plus I could only get two or three steps up the wall and they’d have to let me back down because by then I would be hyperventilating.

  5. This reminds me of George Carlin’s bit on what should and shouldn’t be called a sport and a few changes he would make to each…randomly placed landmines in the outfield…
    With the exception of his rant on “Stuff” and the old “Hippy Dippy Weatherman” routine, I haven’t seen any Carlin stuff – okay once I saw him a few years back on cable and I thought he was mean and way too political. I like the landmines idea – that WOULD make it more sporting. Kinda like arming the deer, huh?

  6. LMAO!!! Them’s Packer colors. To us Viking fans, we don’t put yellow and green together at all in any way, shape or form!! Hilarious that you would use this great photo for your post.
    Hey girlfriend don’t shoot the messenger – I’m a Washington Redskins fan myself – but this was the funniest pic I could find! LOL

  7. That picture makes me smile, cause it reminds me of a remark my son made when he saw an overweight man with a belly like that – “he has a ‘W’ for a stomach.” Now I can’t look at a big stomach like that without thinking of a W.
    That’s funny! I felt so sorry for this guy with that massive belly just flopping around.

  8. oh snap those are “Packer ” colors, I’m a Vikings fan as well , way to go on “mocking” them Packers LOL!!!
    How do I convince you people that the only reason I used that particular picture was because of the gut hanging out??? I am neither a Packer nor a Viking fan – actually I pretty much like everybody except the Dallas Cowboys coz I grew up w/watching the Washington Redskins and those two are definite rivals – this stuff goes deep to my childhood. Kinda like my great-aunt reminding me “my people” came from the South and fought in the War Between the States with honor. She would say, Now Lindalou (and I have no idea where she got the “lou” part from), ya’ll mind ya mannas and always ruhmembah ya peepul came from Suthun Vaahhginnya…blah blah blah. Sheesh. Happy New Year sweetie.

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