Yesterday I talked about the inevitable countdown towards the end of the year and how we were under siege with Best of and Worst of lists and who died, was born, married, came out of the closet, whatever.
For no particular reason it didn’t occur to me that this isn’t just the end of a year, it’s also the end of a decade; our first decade of the 21st century. And what do we have to show for it? A SpongeBob chia pet, some of the worst television reality shows ever thought up (does anyone really care if the old rocker with the do-rag finally finds true love and don’t you wanna just shoot the guy driving the cab and playing trivia with his passengers?), a gazillion corrupt politicians with more hookers, money in their freezers, illegitimate children, and bad hairdos than you can shake a stick at, and some pretty bad music and movies. We have also had to listen to Davey Jones of the Monkees sell Oldies music for Time Life on late night infomercials, watch The Hoff puke up Burger King and hear the nasty voicemail of Alec Baldwin to his child. We’ve been subjected to new and improved George Foreman grills. And Hulk Hogan set mens fashion back twenty years. Not exactly stellar stuff.
On the flip side, I feel compelled to mention this was the decade we elected the first black president. That’s a very big accomplishment. But why wasn’t it also the decade we did away with separate organizations based solely on racial identification; organizations such as the Black Chamber of Commerce or the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People — I mean, come on if there was a White Chamber of Commerce there would be hell to pay, and aren’t we ALL Americans; why the racial designations like African-Americans, Mexican-Americans or Asian-Americans — crap ALL Americans started out someplace else except for indigenous Americans…electing the first black president is pretty historical, but it isn’t enough.
Some other accomplishments of this decade: I bow to social networking, the advent of blogging and of course my personal favorite newbie, Twitter. But that’s about it. Yes, we made progress on cancer treatments, but come on with all the money thrown at it, we should have conquered it by now. If the scientists can blow a rocket into a crater on the moon and find water, surely we can find a cure for cancer. And for cryin’ in a bucket, why can’t someone come up with a more modern computerized voice for Stephen Hawking? He still sounds like something out of a bad sci-fi movie.
Okay what was the most memorable moment of the decade? I think the only answer has to be 9/11 and I think most would agree, at least from an American standpoint. But have we really, really made headway towards ending terrorism? I know I’m supposed to be making ya’ll laugh, but I gotta be a little serious here coz this stuff bothers me. When I go to board a plane, I have to take off my stupid shoes and all my face spackle has to fit in 3 oz. bottles and that’s supposed to be for my safety. Then a guy on a plane can try and ignite the bomb in his underwear or in his shoe and nobody notices ahead of time regardless of ALL the warnings that these guys may be terrorists. I think we’re still short of the goal. One of the “three-letter organizations” puts these guys in the big Bad Guy database and then nobody looks at the danged lists. Crap on a crutch. EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer shows better intelligence than that.
Having said all I really want to say about the past, let’s leap ahead to the future. After all, we are entering into a new decade. Does anyone know what we call this one? The Tens? The Teens? Did we ever figure out what to call the first years of the century…the Naughts, the 00’s? Year naming is confusing. I can look back and recall something that happened in ’76 and just saying that word…Seventy-Six…doesn’t sound odd. But in a few years we’ll look back and refer to something that happened in ’10 and I’m telling you it’s gonna sound funny to refer to the year ’10.
But ya’ll know what I’m leading up to here. There is only one scenario to be concerned with in this upcoming decade and that’s the hoopla over the year 2012. Will the world self-destruct? Is the Mayan Calendar correct? Is the prophecy of Nostradmus right on the money? Will the History Channel show anything else beside the coming catastrophe of 2012? Remember what we went through with Y2K? My prediction is that 2012 will turn out to be another Y2K scenario — no big deal.
Guess we’ll just have to wait 2 years. At least if we’re goin’ out in flames in 2012, I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that Oprah retired.