The Joy of the Holiday Newsletter

This year I have been blessed by only two holiday newsletters; each from someone in my own town, neither live that far away.  I find that oddly disturbing.  The first holiday newsletter is from a lovely woman I worked with and whom I have tried to get together with for coffee for at least the last year.  She’s extremely busy so I understand – I don’t know if she still reads my blog or not — if so, E-I’d still love to meet for a quick coffee; I miss you.

The other holiday newsletter truly took me by surprise.  It, too, was from a lovely lady I worked with a few years ago.  Now we were friendly at work, but not “buds” and we really haven’t had any contact in the 3 years I’ve been retired except for an occasional or accidental meet at a luncheon.  I really enjoyed working with her and hearing her stories of her children – I met them and her husband and she does have a lovely family.  But to send me a newsletter out of the blue just struck me as odd.  I mean, she could have emailed me at any time; she could have called me and we could have had lunch.  Why the newsletter?  Color me puzzled.

But then again, in this day and age with all our ability to communicate why do we still rely on the end-of-the-year newsletter to let people we supposedly care about know what’s going on in our lives?  If you can produce a newsletter, you can pick up your cell phone, or send an email on a semi-regular basis in my opinion.  I don’t mean this to be harsh – it’s just that electornic communication has become the norm in our society – so why don’t we retire the newsletters, hmmmm?

Just for grins (and because I’m basically lazy at the moment) I dug out the blog post I did last year where I came up with what I considered to be the perfect newsletter and only wished I had the nerve to send it out.   So here is my feeble attempt to update my life in the last year…

Dear (insert name here),

Dangitall, can you believe it’s the holidays again?  Seems like we jest done this, huh?  Ha-ha.  Here’s what the Jester family has been up to since our last letter.

Last January,  Hubby Jester got laid off at the fat-rendering plant.  He was so close to retirement it purt near kilt us to give up them good benefits and such.  But he got to take home a mess a pork bellies  and we were plum grateful.

In March, me and Hubby Jester plus our kids, Chester, and Esther Jester went to see Hubby’s Cousins Betty and her Brother Bob down at the holler.  They got a mess a youngins and our kids all have such a good time together.  Chester is getting so big; he was able to help out Cousin Bob back at the still  and whooieee those days jest flew by.

May was kinda quiet and Mama was ailin’.  She took a spill on the ice and broke her hip awhile back.  It’s hard for her to get around on her other wooden leg so’s we try to help her where we can.  I got a nice old rocking chair in the back room by the wood burning stove and most days I just park Mama there in that chair but not too close to the fire ya know. That old chair used to rock till Chester used one of the rails for Mama’s replacement leg.  She’s gettin’ up there in years and we figger she’ll have to go to the home soon.

In August we had us a wedding!  My sis, Nestor, married Hubby’s brother Lester Jester and we had such a good time.  They really put on a feast!  There were hot dogs and pigs feet and beans, and a big old ice cream wedding cake – – mmm-mmmm!   Ain’t we blessed?

In  October our big old boy Chester had his 12th birthday.  We’re so proud of him we could bust.  We woulda had a party, but with Hubby Jester not working we jest had some grilled cheese sandwiches and I got a day-old cake for Chester. Shoot, he was in hog heaven!

In November we got an addition to the family!  A puppy!!  Hubby Jester had been out huntin’ and this cute little scraggly thing jest followed him home and we kept him.  He’s got big brown eyes and big old paws and Hubby named him Fester.  Seems he’s already got a taste for rodents, so we won’t have to be buying much dog food thankfully!

So that brings us to now in December- Mama fell again and we found her a few days too late to do sumthin about it.  Guess she won’t be having to go to no home now.  The good part is Chester was able to re-use that wooden leg and fix the rocker.  That boy of mine!

Oh I almost forgot!!  Our pride and joy, Esther is gonna be a mama soon herself!  She’s done with the 10th grade and ya’ll know it’s never too soon to start poppin’ out those lil’ ones!  That scamp, she’s just like her ma!

Merry Christmas from your friends,

Ma, Hubby, Esther, Chester, and Fester Jester


9 thoughts on “The Joy of the Holiday Newsletter

  1. I LOVE the annual Brag & Gag letters! Last year we got one from people we didn’t even know that raised the bar. There was bragging about their wonderful accomplishments and bitterness about how the Ukrainian orphans didn’t seem to appreciate their efforts to adopt one of them for a ministry project and a mention about giving Jesus a lap dance. Yeah, it was bizarre. And dead serious. I loved it.
    Unfortunately the ones i receive are never that entertaining. sigh…

  2. That is just too funny. I have never wrote a letter nor have I received one sad but true. Thanks for the laughs Hugs
    I have never written one, nor ever will. I rarely send cards anymore. Usually, when I do, the card contains a hand-written note, not something generated by a printer. I’m old-fashioned that way. Hugs!

  3. Can’t….stop….giggling

    Help me…gasp!
    I’m bad, aren’t I? Even Devoted Spouse couldn’t breathe. His fav part was taking the wooden leg and fixing the rocker again. He thinks I’m slightly twisted. He’s right. Sometimes I make myself giggle.

  4. The few I have gotten remain unread. I think there is just about nothing so boring in the world to receive.

    “Uh, we took a trip, Billy Bob lost his back teeth. Lilly May is sleeping with Bobby Joe and refuses to get married. Billy Bob joined the football team but has to sit on the sidelines because he keeps losing his teeth when he gets tackled. Etc……”

    I do like when people make cards with family pictures on them. That is cool to see the changes each year.

    I hope your friends find time to go out to lunch with you. Heck if I lived near you then I would go out to lunch with you.

    And you had better lock Ester up. LOL

    God bless.
    Wouldn’t we have fun at lunch? I think they might kick us out from all our laughing. And it’s too late w/Esther – she must have watched Sex and the City and gotten ideas…

  5. And you know who is gonna get a free dinner. I have still been clicking on as many times a day as I can.

    She need less than 30 to make it.

    God bless again.
    I know – I click every day from several different computers!!! I can’t wait to hear about this fabulous dinner and see pics. D’ya think she might send us some doggie bags? Nah, prob not. LOL

  6. Yes, you are a twisted puppy but that is why we love you, you silly woman!

    We are supposed to have a snow storm come in this evening or tomorrow so, White Christmas for us….yeah, baa-humbug 🙂

    Hope you all have a great Christmas.
    Looks like we will get rain. Enjoy your Christmas, too.

  7. Delaney put me over the top! DH is taking a nap and has no idea …yet.

    I got an E-mail Christmas letter from my ex-bro in law’s wife. The first five paragraphs were on the weather they had ALL year detailing how temperature records were broken.

    (This is the ex bro in law I wanted to keep as my big brother–he’d been my big brother since I was in elementary school…His ex wife, my eldest sister hates me, so wth.)

    One paragraph was news to me since she gave me news of one of my nephews and my neice. (Nephew is going to be a daddy and the neice remarried.) No one tells me anything, but that’s a looong story and I refuse to bore people with it.

    The rest of the letter had to do with HER kids whom I don’t know nor do they have an inkling of who I am.

    My other sister known as The #%*ch hasn’t communicated with me since my mother died.
    Hey Congrats on reaching the goal! Woot!
    Welcome to my world — when I went to see the stepmother I had been estranged from for 2 years as she was dying, my step-uncle was discussing another “dead” step-uncle – only they had neglected to tell me he had died – hence the term I often use “red-headed stepchild” is very true in my case. So I can relate. I actually used to get newsletters from some of that family and I would just crumple them up and throw them out unread. My cards always included a hand-written note. It’s a rather sore subject with me.
    Again – Woot on the dinner out! Glad I was a part of it and happy Delaney put you over the goal number! Hugs!

  8. Normally I get five to six of these a season (admittedly no where near as entertaining as yours) and I’ve just noticed we got NONE this year. Hmmmmm… perhaps no one had anything good to brag about this year.
    With the rotten economy maybe they all cut back on their printing? Have a great Christmas!

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