Step Away From the Candy


Every year I face this particular holiday with dread.  Every year I fail in my efforts not to succumb.  This year appears to be no different than prior years.

Yes, I’m talking about the Halloween candy debacle.  Each year I buy far too many bags of candy out of fear of running out and having hordes of nasty children cover my car with shaving cream or drape my property with toilet paper.  Each year the ratio of children knocking on my door to candy overflowing from the candy bowl is skewed.  Each year I find I dip into the candy bowl ahead of time knowing full well I have more bags of candy stashed in the kitchen just in case.


It is a never ending issue at our house.  One year I bought only candy I didn’t like — nasty things like those sticky Mary Janes and horrid Snickers bars and the ever obnoxious boxes of something gummy called Dots.  The kids gave me the look — you know the one that says, “What is wrong with you and why are you giving me this crap…where’s the good stuff?”  While I didn’t eat any of the candy that year, I did shame myself into buying the good stuff the following year.  The following year I also gained several pounds around the Halloween timeframe.

So back to this year…several days ago while in Target I decided to simply stock up on Halloween candy and that would save me another trip to Wally World (where it’s cheaper, but the store is farther away).  I justified my “cart-o-candy” to the cashier by saying I was buying some for my neighbor — now what possessed me to feel I had to justify anything I purchased to a cashier was beyond my understanding.  Oh, okay let’s be honest.  My candy splurge embarrassed even me.  Target’s stock went up the following day by the way…

So here it is several days before the little monsters show up on the doorstep and what are we doing?  Both Devoted Spouse and I are dipping into the candy dish like we are entitled to scarf up as much as possible because we both know we can jump in our cars and go buy more before the actual evening of trick or treat.  How pitiful.

I admit it and here is the pic to prove it — the Halloween detritus (pre-Halloween!) on the table next to my comfy chair – here goes another 12-step program.  I’m a pre-Halloween Halloween candyolic and I don’t know how to stop.  As I begin to burst out of my lower-size jeans I just purchased, it will occur to me to stop this and life will return to normal…until this time next year…sigh…


I'm so ashamed...

Maybe next year I should leave the lights off and skip this entirely – no buying candy, no handing out candy. But then I would deprive Devoted Spouse of looking at all the adorable costumes on the neighborhood kids — okay maybe I should go stay at the Holiday Inn for the few days leading up to Halloween – nah, that won’t work either.  Perhaps we should do what we did when we lived on base…we gave out what was in our massive change jar — the kids were REALLY excited about that and the coins didn’t rot their teeth.  Well, I have another 12 months to decide…I think I’ll just chew on all of this with a small piece of candy…


10 thoughts on “Step Away From the Candy

  1. First of all, you greatly amuse me with your tendency to explain things to sales clerks! Second of all, this is quite a universal problem. I love the wrappers on your table – it looks just like my end table – a book, some magazines, and a bunch of empty candy wrappers. I think you should just give in to the season and enjoy it as one of life’s great treasures. And eat up.
    I’m just glad the Halloween season doesn’t last as long as the Christmas season or I’d turn into a huge blimp – ugh! candy bad…candy good…voices must stop…

  2. Cute! One of my favorite joys of Halloween IS the sugar-loading! I buy a bag of mixed ‘junk’ for the kiddies and also a stash of my favorites…lol. Hey, if there’s gonna be leftovers, at least I’ll enjoy them. The will power to over indulge is lost for the first week but after that, I’m pretty good at knowing my limits…OR hit the gym more 😉
    Hi Lynn – thanks for stopping by. You are right – we Need to do this at least once a year! But I will be glad when Halloween is over and I can skip all the sugar buzz!

  3. I hide candy all over my house, along with the Oreos, the brownie bites, the chocolate chip cookies, and lots of other goodies. The grandkids know that these treats are hidden and they have to find them. Okay, they do know where all my stashes are. And they leave all the wrappers everywhere to let me know that they know. But hiding it all keeps me from eating it constantly. I think that just knowing it is there if I want it, is a good enough reason to keep it in the house. Kinda like having 70 pairs of shoes in the closet.

    I am a “just in case” aholic. I buy things just in case I might need it or want it or use it or someone else might need to use it. I bought 3 bags of candy from Costco just in case I might have some kids knock on my door. And anyone who shops at Costco knows that each bag has one to two hundred pieces in it. And one has even more.

    Last year I think there were 20 ‘trick or treaters’ who came to my door. I still have a lot of the candy leftover from last year. Hmmm, I think I will hand that out first. Nah, they need the fresh candy. Oh look, the expiration date says it is still good. Oh my, what should I do. Eating it sounds good. Any excuse is good. But I like your excuse too. Yummy!!!!!

    God bless.
    We usually have between 40 and 60 kids depending on the weather – that’s alot of candy coz I let them grab it out of the bowl – I remember as a child the old ladies who would hand you one little stinkin piece of candy – not me – I let the kids dive in — hence the bags and bags of candy here taunting me with their little pretty colors and the smells of chocolate. Oh I cant wait for this to be over so I can stop craving candy!! LOL

  4. I wish I could have more fun at Halloween. This is the only holiday I’m not fond of. Poor Billy Bob, he is the same way.

    I’m making the best of it for Miss. Laney. She asked me last night if I would go trick or treating with her……

    Oh…..Well… all I could say. I’m such a bad, Step-Granny.
    It isn’t my favorite either but at least it doesn’t last very long. lol

  5. The boss has put a large bowl of this crap on my desk ‘For the customers’. Um Hello? We don’t get THAT many customers walk in! Don’t even look in my trash for wrappers…you will find too many:(
    While I was working the one day I dreaded was the first work day following Halloween when everyone would bring in their leftover candy – candy everywhere for days – ackkk. Diet destroyer!

  6. I walked up behind my wife last night and said, “Put down the scoop and step away from the ice cream…”
    If Devoted Spouse ever had the nerve to say that to me I would bop him over the head with the scoop. She puts up with you and kids…give her some ice cream; your life will be easier that way. LOL

  7. I don’t have much of a problem at Halloween but Easter? WeeHaw! Love me some Easter candy especially since you can get LARGE chocolate and peanut butter eggs, bunnies, the list goes on. I am a total chocolate and peanut butter ‘hoe.
    Then get you butt over here and you can dive into the Reece’s peanut butter cups – ugh. I’ll eat a couple because they are there…but I really don’t like pb and choc together. At Easter what I wait for are the Cadbury eggs with the buttercream filling – now that’s pure heaven to me. I truly need to grow 3 inches taller so I don’t get any wider!!! LOL

  8. Halloween candy is not a big weakness for me, but I still manage to gain weight this time of year. I start baking as soon as fall begins …. Why do I do that?
    Because the weather cools and it’s time for comfort food – I go through the same thing – this is the time of year I want to bake apple cobblers and pies and things with noodles – ackkk…

  9. If ever I needed a bit of humor, I needed it this evening. Not that anything drastic took place to day, it’s just that I’ve had a problem remembering I really had it easy with shingles and their aftermath. I almost feel like asking a question I will not ask: why me? I keep getting the answer? why not you? So, thanks for the laughs.
    Ouch lets not discuss shingles; I’m still not over mine and it it still painful and has zapped all my strength. I’m trying to keep laughing as that’s what makes it all worth it my friend! 🙂

  10. I don’t know about you, but I do enjoy dots and snickers…haha. I left a sign at my door saying “LOOK IN THE WINDOW, YOU ARE BEING VIDEOTAPED. IF YOU TAKE MORE THAN 1 PIECE OF CANDY, THEN WE WILL FIND YOU.” Then I placed my (broken)Camcorder/Camera/whatever it’s called in the window. I can’t really afford to buy tons and tons of overpriced candy, and my place has about 50 kids per house, it seems.
    I have the major hots for KitKat bars; they’re my downfall. Love the idea of the videotape – now that’s funny!

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