photo nationalgeographic.com

photo nationalgeographic.com

As I write this post it is 1:40 in the morning and I can’t sleep.  Again.  I seem to be making a habit of this.  Nocturnal nonsense.  The household is asleep – okay so it’s not a big household but Devoted Spouse is sawing logs and last I checked, EmmaLou the Golden Destroyer had moved into the warm spot I vacated as I gave up on any reasonable hope of sleep — she started snoring as I tiptoed out of the room plus she had her nasty dog head on my pillow.

Sigh…it’s so quiet in the house.  I can’t watch tv – I might wake up Devoted Spouse.  Oh wait, no I won’t; he routinely sleeps through the worst thunder and lightening while the dog and I pace the floor praying it will stop soon.  He’s oblivious once his adorable head hits the pillow.  I hate him.

Devoted Spouse is one of those people who can simply lean their head back on the comfy chair and is instantly snoozing.  He can sleep during the day and then he can fall asleep and remain asleep at night, too.  He can sleep in any hotel bed, on the couch at a friend’s house,  in the passenger seat while I’m driving, in an airplane, at a movie.  I think the only places I’ve never seen him grab a quick nap are at church and in the shower, and I’m not that sure about church…

He’s a natural sleeper.  I hate him.  He can drink coffee, diet sodas, eat chocolate all day long and still by 11:00 p.m. he’s out and in dreamland.  This is so unfair.  He never has to take any type of drug to sleep; he wouldn’t drink warm milk if you held a gun to his head and the thought of reading something boring; well, he doesn’t need to – he can sleep.  Did I mention I hate him?

I have tried everything – warm milk (which I actually like), pain medicine, tranquilizers, Tylenol PM (what a joke), and then there were the few months I actually took Ambien.  Ambien does help you go to sleep.  In my case it was also responsible for some very bizarre sleep-walking behavior.  I would get up during the night, fix a meal, leave the dishes in the sink and return to bed.  The next day Devoted Spouse would ask me about my midnight snack and I had no memory of it – and I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why I was gaining weight.  Then it got ugly — I started getting up during the night, turning on my laptop, getting out my credit card and going on shopping sprees.  The next day, again, I would have no memory of this behavior.  But stuff kept being delivered to my door and it got to the point I was becoming best buds with the FedEx and the UPS guys – we were all on a first name basis.  Then one of the Kennedy clan was in a car accident while on Ambien – he had been driving in his sleep as I recall and that was when I realized this nutty behavior was a result of my taking this drug.  So I stopped taking it and cursed my doctor for even giving it to me and suggested he pay off my credit card.  (He didn’t.)

I haven’t really slept well since.  Fits and spurts — I’ll sleep every night for a week and then spend the next 3 weeks falling asleep and waking up and falling asleep and waking up every night.  It’s getting on my last nerve.  I need to go back to bed and get some sleep.  But I’m wide awake and bored to tears.

I will eventually fall asleep sometime before 5:00 a.m.  Probably I will just be starting to relax as Devoted Spouse awakes to feed EmmaLou and go on their early morning jaunt around the neighborhood.  The two of them always arise early and are bright-eyed and bushy-tailed eager to greet the morning.  I know this because I hear them as I’m dozing off and then I have to look at the alarm clock again to see its evil red numbers taunting me.

Yawn…why am I so sleepy but as soon as I lay down I wake up?  I really need some zzzzzzz’s.  Pleeeeeze.


17 thoughts on “ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzsnortZZZZzzzzzz

  1. I can relate, totally. And then I start getting more anxious the later it gets, cause I have to get up at 6 and go to work and I know it’ll take about 10 cups of coffee to keep me going. Sometimes generic benadryl works for me. I do get a lot of reading done when I’m in sleepless mode.
    Benedryl makes me wired – all antihistamines and anything like Tylenol PM or Advil PM or Excedrin PM – they all wire me to no end. Even herbal tea doesn’t work. I just wear out and finally sleep after a couple of days of this and then it’s several days of sleep and then the cycle starts again. Hate it.

  2. I know what you mean.

    I’m on the night owl clock. I gave up trying to sleep when my body and brain wouldn’t let me a long time ago. Most often I’m not in bed before 6 a.m. and then I’m up in 4 to eight hours depending…

    It’s a good thing I work at home and don’t have to punch a time clock.
    It’s funny when I was working I was asleep at between 9-10pm and up at 5 every day – at work by 6:15 or so and I’d get off to come home around 3:30. Worked for me for alot of years. Now that I can sleep longer, I usually can’t – I go to bed later around 10:30 or 11:00 but lay there sometimes for hours on end and just get up and then go back around 4 or 5 and sleep a couple of hours. I know this is unhealthy. It really catches up to me when I fall asleep in the late afternoon from exhaustion and sleep 3 or 4 hours and then there’s NO way I can sleep that night. It’s vicious and I don’t like it. The bags under my eyes are getting bags of their own! Maybe I should find a night job…

  3. The “PM” in all those medications is actually the same medication in Benedryl – Diphenhydramine.
    I can take one at night and sleep like a baby. My daughter gets so wired she can’t sit still.
    After my surgery I found myself sitting up nearly all night and didn’t sleep during the day either. Don’t know what that was about but I got over it. Try some soothing music and a boring book. Or maybe hypnosis…..
    Yup – diphenhydramine wires me like 50 cups of coffee and I never fall asleep. Learned a long time ago to stay away from it. Boring books – they do make me nod off but I wake up in an hour and can’t get back to sleep. Hypnosis is an interesting thought. You’re feeling sleeeeeeeepy, sleeeeeeepy. Snort…lol

  4. Wish I had answers for you, my friend, but I suffer from insomnia and the only thing that does work for me is xanax. Not a good thing.

    I haven’t had a natural night’s sleep since Dan was diagnosed with cancer. Even before then, I would have nights that laying in bed listening to his sleep drove me nuts…

    It is not right to know every crack in the ceiling, every fly spot, every wrinkle in the wallpapater…just isn’t right while the one you love only knows sweet slumber.

    I am afraid of Ambien. It may knock you out, but I already sleep eat without any help from a drug. I have a neice that does it too. It is a subconscience stress responce. That is the best guess of the doctors because I refuse to do a sleep study. What a joke. If I can’t sleep in my own bed, why do they think that I could sleep in their sterile hospital setting. (all that simulated homelike atmosphere doesn’t fool my brain. I know that it is a hospital).

    Good luck in finding a routine or a sleep aid….lock up the keys to the car if you go back to taking ambien. Tear up the credit cards and put a lock on the frig….

    Hoping you find your zzzzz….
    I can’t imagine how difficult it was for you to listen to Dan’s breathing and not be able to fall into a relaxing restful sleep yourself – you’ve had such a journey and it’s been a privilege to watch you come through this and begin to reclaim your life and know that there is peace and joy for you – it’s just a terribly long process you must endure. As for sleep, no I’ll never take Ambien again – ever. I’ll continue with the warm milk, the herbal teas, boring books, and then getting up and watching awful tv or just hanging out and watching EmmaLou chase rabbits in her sleep. I imagine much of this is hormonal and maybe someday it will all sort itself out. I’m amazed at how many are going through the same nightmare with me. We are just one big bunch of exhausted people aren’t we? Hugs, prayers, and blessings coming your way sweetie. Love you.

  5. I too hate people who can just fall asleep. I think a lot of people in bloggyworld know I suffer from insomnia and take Amb*en. I am so thankful that doc finally gave them to me. I had tried other sleep*ng p*lls and none really worked.

    Now I can truly say that the Amb*en CR works differently and since I started taking it, I seem to be sleeping better. Although it has only been a few weeks, but I really can tell the difference. I am sleeping about 5 hours straight and for me that is a miracle. Even with my shoulder pain, I am zonking out.

    Thank God my insurance company approved to help pay for almost all of it. And I am so praying that the government does not take over my health coverage because I do not want the bureaucracy of government workers to decide if I get to take it or not. I see what hubby’s family in Canada go through and there is no stinking way I want to go through what they do.

    I would tell you to try the CR kind and at least see if it works. Just make sure to have DS hide your CC’s and that will put a stop to ordering things. But if it works the same as it is for me, I think once you fall asleep you will stay asleep.

    The only bad thing is that I have turned into a nocturnal bat and am having trouble falling asleep before 5 a.m. But I have been working on changing it an hour at a time. So by 4 a.m. I have been in bed and falling asleep easier. Then I am trying to get up earlier.

    I am getting so tired of being a bat, but I have had fun chasing those possums. One was here visiting this weekend and just like always I was out there chasing him. But I had company because two grandkids were out there with me. They actually spent more time with him then me when we cornered it.

    The dang thing was hissing at me again. But I was poking it with a stick trying to get him to climb the fence and go away. But it just kept playing possum and would not move no matter how many times I pushed him. I think I was too gentle. I need a lasso so I can rope him and pull him into the trap. Animal control takes them to the hills where they are safe.

    Uh-oh, the porch light just came on and the two cats are in the house. See ya, I gotta go check, cause only the possum turns it on if the cats are in the house.

    God bless.
    I too am becoming a night owl and I don’t like it. No, sweetie, I’ll never take Ambien again in any form. What I didnt mention was one night I had taken Ambien and that was the night DS had a heart attack and I had to fight this drug to get him to the hospital – I didn’t know it was a heart attack at the time or I would have called 911 – he just didn’t feel good, was in pain and wanted to go to the hospital. That should have tipped me off coz he never volunteers to go to a hospital for anything. And I dang near killed both of us driving – now I live in fear that the loss of control a sleeping pill provides could prevent me from hearing him if he got sick again – okay it might be a little silly, but I don’t want to ever be that out of it again. I’d rather be exhausted than drugged to sleep and unable to respond. But I sure am tired. Hugs and blessings sweetie – love you tons. Go get those ‘possums!

  6. Hi,

    Insomnia is really awful. I had some problems with it years back and at one time started relying on various sleeping pills. Personally, I had problems with most of them, including the herbal ones. In some ways, the herbal stuff was worse.

    btw – nice photo of the lion.
    Thanks for stopping by – I loved that lion – I want to BE him as he lazily sleeps away his day – I think if memory serves lions sleep something like 18 or 20 out of 24 hours – at least the males anyway — the ladies are busy doing the hunting. On second thought, I’m glad I’m not a lion. LOL I agree the herbal stuff can be hard on the system – I just don’t react well to it. The only thing I haven’t tried so far is melatonin and I have a friend who swears by the stuff but it has me a tad leery. Sigh…

  7. I’m afraid that I am the “Devoted Spouse” in my house. I can sleep anywhere, anytime, anyway. I’ve even fallen asleep on the back of a motorcycle. I caught myself dozing off at a traffic light and in the drive-thru line at the bank. (Well, that’s not so bad, right? They take forever.) Please don’t hate me.
    I would like to call you all sorts of names but I simply can’t because you know I love the stuffin’ outta you girlfriend. I am displeased however that you felt it necessary to let me know you and DS have the same “gift” – just kidding. At least that’s two of us that can rack up some zzzzzzzzz’s. Lucky you. Heavy sigh…

  8. I’m married to a DS as well….makes me sick. How do they do that?
    I dunno – genetics? Testosterone? Just dumb luck or blind stupidity? Beats the puddin’ outta me – I just know he sleeps and I don’t. Blechhhh.

  9. I think that most men are like that and most women are insomniacs at least statistically speaking. My Hubby has trouble once in awhile but for the most part he is asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. Me? Nah, takes a long time even when I am tired. I take the generic Ambien occasionally and have had those “when did I do that?” moments. Don’t go on Ebay after taking it, that’s for sure…heehee! At least I won the stuff I could use.
    How did you manage to find a generic Ambien – the commercials on tv say there IS no generic Ambien. Hmmm — is it a holistic version? Interesting. I’m too scared to take it again – I’ll just stay awake and then stumble through my day until one of these days I get back to normal.

  10. ELPH is like DS. 10 minutes after hitting the pillow he’s out. Me? I toss & turn and fluff pillows until 1am. Then when the alarm goes off I’m like WTF? I just got to sleep! Sometimes when I can’t sleep I imagine I’m walking through the woods & meadows on a beautiful day, feeling the sun on my face and enjoying the freash air. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t. I have read however that you should NEVER turn on the TV or PC. The light messes with your internal clock. OH! I know! When you wake up at 1am, grab a blanket & move to the sofa our your comfy chair. Worth a try.
    Be at peace. Sleep.
    I try and find my happy place which is the beach and I imagine the waves coming in to shore and I can actually hear them and smell the salt air. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I often find myself in my comfy chair with a boring book and a cup of warm milk and I’ll sit there for hours and might doze off a little but it certainly isn’t a good night’s sleep. One of these days…

  11. I wrote about my sleep driving experience with Ambian. Yes you read correctly I drove 60 miles one way, in my sleep, naked. I stopped taking Ambian after that night.
    It doesn’t surprise me at all – that stuff is lethal and dangerous. I think it needs to be taken off the market. How many people go through this and we don’t know it and they’re on the roads with us when we’re out late at night just trying to get home safely. Ambien makes you do bizarre things. I’m so with you even though I never drove naked while on it — had I stayed with it long enough who knows what would have been next?

  12. Ok as the pharmaceutical stuff is so dangerous, how about natural supplements..
    something like calcium(CITRATE, not carbonate) tablets?
    You should try to get ones that are paired with magnesium (another lovely sleep inducing mineral)
    Take about 3 or 4, and you will find that they totally relax you(as I had that problem too, think that it IS a female problem, probably a hormone thing)
    so that you will get to sleep and what is even better, STAY asleep!
    Solaray is a VERY reputable company too…
    Worth a try!
    I had not heard of that – thank you sweetie I will definitely look into it coz I’m just dog-tired. Hugs right back atcha!!

  13. There is no generic for the Ambien CR but you can get the basic one which is zolpidem tartrate. I had a problem with being asleep and not realizing it when I first took it now I am used to it and don’t have the “adventures” any more though I thankfully never drove while taking it. I think that doctors really need to let their patients know that this type of stuff can happen and if it does that they shouldn’t continue on it.
    Isnt it amazing our doctors don’t even tell us and we have to demand this type of information??? My doctor and I regularly get into arguments over my care – I am so proactive and I won’t take anything (since the Ambien debacle) unless I know exactly what it is, what it is supposed to accomplish, and how I might react.

  14. My doctor gave me Valium when I complained of not sleeping. Took one, it gave me a migraine, and I hadn’t had one of those in years. Never took another one. I told him next time I was in there I didn’t care if I didn’t sleep–nothing was worth a migraine!
    Valium tends to give me headache issues, too. I have also built up a tolerance to it since I was on it for 3 months when the doc thought my broken back was nothing but muscle spasms! So it does me no good anymore. I’ve tried it a couple of nights – even took 2 and I was still wide awake. I finally gave up on them. I’m going to try herbal supplements next – chamomile tea helps me relax but it doesn’t help me go to sleep. It’s such an annoying part of my life to have to put up with this nonsense night after night… oh well at least my back is good so I shouldn’t complain!

  15. I usually don’t have as much trouble falling asleep and staying asleep as you do, Linda, but I agree that I hate those people who can sleep anywhere and anytime. The only time I can take a nap is when the sun is beating down on me mid-afternoon while I drive in rush hour traffic. And I have to be prone – so no car sleeping or plane sleeping on trips. That drives me crazy, especially when traveling during red eye flights or long flights when that is all there is to do.
    I cannot sleep on a plane to save my soul not even on international flights. Ugh it’s horrible. One place I can always fall asleep is on a towel on a hot sandy beach in front of the ocean – then I wake up looking like a boiled lobster! LOL

  16. Long time now see! With this new job, I am hardly on my computer (not to mention the intenet was down for two weeks)! TWO WEEKS! Ugh!
    Anyhow, I saw you mention that you had not tried melentonin. I would definitely give that a shot. It is the actual thing that may help. I got a prescription of Rozerem and I believe that is just a high dose of melotonin. It helped a bit. I have taken ambien cr twice this month and probably will not be doing it again for a while. Last week I had the flu, threw up all night and then got up and went to school thinking it was all a dream. I returned home and my roommate said, “I can’t believe you went to school”. It’s a bit scary what can happen and yes most scary if someone else has a need while you are “out” on ambien.
    Take care and I hope you get more rest!!!
    Blessings, Christie
    Psalm 4:8
    Hi Christie – It’s so good to see you again! I hope all has been going well for you except for that nasty bout of flu – hey, sometimes when I go to school I think I’m dreaming – LOL – just kidding. I like the melatonin idea and I’m going to look into that. Take care sweetie – Blessings, Linda

  17. I feel your pain here. This happens to me from time to time, whether I am working or not. I prefer it happens when I’m NOT working. Because it really sucks to not be able to sleep until 5 a.m. Oh wait a minute, the alarm is going to go off now, so even though I CAN sleep now, I can’t sleep!! ARGH!!!

    Thankfully, I am sleeping ok. For the moment.

    And my hubby is the same as yours. Dead as a doorknob, doesn’t hear a thing at night. Grrr.

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