So this morning I met with my dentist, the illustrious and esteemed Dr. Torquemada, a recent graduate summa cum laude of the Matchbook Cover School of Dentition and Inquisition. His lovely assistant, Demento, took x-rays of my extremely aching tooth and the Doc gave me this diagnosis. “There’s alot going on here.”
Now I have been going to Dr. Torquemada for a few years now…in fact I believe his new boat , Bite Me, was in fact paid by yours truly. This is a nice man, as dental specialists go — he’s a rabid, I mean avid, fan of Ohio State and that’s good enough for me. But today I expected a little more of a definitive answer to my horrid toothache than, “There’s alot going on here.” Crap on a crutch; I could have told him that and saved us both the time.
Did he fix it? Not really. His assistant, Demento, shot me up with four needles full of whatever it is they’re using these days — and just as an aside if you haven’t had a shot through the roof of your mouth lately, I highly recommend you DON’T. She then proceeded to do a deep cleaning around this tooth (which is actually a crown but you don’t need too many details). Can you say “Ouch?” She didn’t even wait for the anesthetic to fully deaden my mouth, she just jumped right in there with her pointy little instruments and began to engage in what felt like a boxing match with my tooth.
Then they took another x-ray. The diagnosis then was, “Well, I don’t see any infection – it may hurt because your sinus cavity is full on that side and since you’re already taking antibiotics for the sinus infection, let’s give it a few days and see how it does. If it still hurts on Thursday, call me and we may have to do a root canal then.”
Life would be much easier had he just done the dang root canal today and sent me on my way. My tooth still hurts, and now I have to wait another miserable three days in which I know and you know my tooth is not miraculously going to stop hurting because that’s not how things work in the life of Linda.
I anticipate more shots and further pain Thursday or Friday. Just call it a hunch. At least today I made it out of the ring with just a few bruises and a sore mouth. But let me catch that witch, Demento, behind the building when she’s not looking, and we’ll see how she likes ME using those little pointy instruments on her.