NewsFlash: EmmaLou Asked to Resign from PETA!

My name is EmmaLou and I'm an eatabirdaholic...

My name is EmmaLou and I'm an eatabirdaholic...

She looks cute from a distance of a few feet, doesn’t she?  But don’t get too close:

uh-oh look at the dark patch on my neck!

uh-oh look at the dark patch on my neck!

See the dark stain on her precious little neck (on the right side of the pic)?  Some folks get grass stains on their shoes, some get ink stains on their hands, EmmaLou gets dead bird stains on her fur in all kinds of locations.  This time we don’t know for sure if she killed it; if it was already dead when she found it but we do know two key pieces of evidence.  One:  she stinks to high heaven, and Two:  This is all that remains in the back yard:

the incriminating evidence

the incriminating evidence

Don’t need CSI to figure this one out.  Although Mom is studying, in a very short while EmmaLou is in for a big surprise in the form of a bucket of soapy water and a washrag!  Thankfully the groomer appointment is Tuesday; for now a neck washing will suffice.

Can’t be satisfied with chewing on her toy birds; no, she has to go after the real ones.  PETA is some kind of mad and the fur could be flyin’ if we’re not careful.  At the minimum they will take her doggie membership card away.  And she really enjoyed chewing on the laminated part, too.  Too bad.  That’s my fur child.  Gotta love her.


13 thoughts on “NewsFlash: EmmaLou Asked to Resign from PETA!

  1. Oh my. Sparkie found a dead frog yesterday. (Mower kill. ew.) She got a neck washing too.
    I wanted to throw out the towel and washcloth they were so black with oook and goo. Nasty nasty girl.

  2. Thank, I needed that laugh. Uh….I mean, how sad.
    Well, at least she ate all of it and left nothing behind for us to clean up. But I’m concerned as to when its coming through her system and if it will land as major dog yak on my bed in the middle of the night! Oh gross. And to think I let that dog lick my face. Ick factor 10. Blechhhh. I can still smell it and she’s been scrubbed and had doggie perfume sprayed on her — now she smells like a dog with baby powder that’s just barely covering the stench of dead bird. Sweet merciful heavens she wears me out.

  3. I hate stuff like this. Bing, my outdoor cat, kills mice and bites their heads off. It is so gross.
    Well at least she didnt bring me part of it as a wonderful reward, she hasnt yakked any of it up in the house (yet), she’s had her “sponge bath” and been doused with Doggie Freshener plus I just finished brushing her teeth (to her vast dismay). Jeez louise what a pain!

  4. From experience I would say it was long dead when your darling found it. While messier, for me it is easier to take. Golden’s are incredible experts at finding nasty things to roll in. sigh
    I tend to agree with you – I’ve seen her “play tag and catch” things but let them go while they’re alive; I’ve only seen her actually gobble up something that was already there in the grass long dead. It’s still repulsive and disgusting. Blechh.

  5. I’ve been out-of-pocket for a while, but thought I’d drop in and see how you are. Always ready for an Emma Lou story. My little guy has caught several rats, I’ve posted about that before. He’s good at it … it’s what he does when given the chance … and there’s no talking him out of it. It’s a dog-eat-bird world out there (isn’t that how it goes?) … well, that’s better than dog-eat-rat!
    I’d as soon it was simply “dog eat dog food and the occasional human-approved treat.” LOL

  6. If it stinks it’s been dead a while.
    Dogs gross out by eating and/or rolling in dead things… cats gross us out by bringing us dead things as gifts.
    I have nothing to add because I know for a fact (having had both dogs and cats) that what you say is the truth. It’s just so nasty. I’d like to BE EmmaLou for just one day to see why this is so wonderful to her. Obviously their sense of smell is entirely different in what is good vs bad to them and of course they have different societal rules than humans. Must be fascinating. But just for one day.

  7. Just the thought of giving you a surprise on your bed is pretty gross. I do hope it all comes out when she is outside.

    But count yourself lucky because my cats leave me gifts all the time. Little birds, big birds, lizzards, rats, mice, and things I cannot even recognize. One of my cats used to leave me a gift every morning right outside the front door. Even if it was just cricket legs, she would be so happy in thanking me for feeding her. We always had to check before we took that first step out the front door, because sometimes it would be a pretty big mess left there. Ugh.

    But the two cats we have right now like to bring live creatures to the sliding glass door, they never use the front door, and then they like to play with the creature before they kill it. Kinda like they have a toy and when they get tired of playing with it, they sometimes let it go, but mostly they kill it. One day I found 4 dead birds in the yard, they don’t usually eat them, they just kill them. They would totally reject PETA and would never be card holders. I’ll ask them again if they want a card but I think they will just look at me like I am crazy. They told me, the first time I asked them about it, that they were born to kill what they could catch, and scratched the crap out of the card then spit it into the gutter. They said that they wear their fur proudly and are not taking it off no matter how much PETA wants them to take it off.

    The only thing I “wish” that they would kill is those stupid possums. But those possums sure are scarey when they hiss, so I guess I cannot blame them. I sprayed the top of the fence with wasp and hornet spray and so far the possum hasn’t been sitting up there starring at me when I go outside. I am thinking about spraying the possums with the spray and seeing what happens. They are totally ignoring the trap and all the goodies I put in there for them. Maybe the naked PETA people need to come here and catch them. If I catch another one, maybe I will ship it to you and you can use it for target practice. Oh okay, I know I cannot do that, but it sure would be fun. I think I am sick of those possums.

    God bless.

    And that my dear is why my two (departed) cats were inside cats only. If I lived on a large parcel of land, a farm, or a ranch, I might allow outside cats to keep the rodent population down, but living in suburbia is no where to allow a cat to roam outside — far too dangerous and they tend to have lower life spans (cars hit them, etc.). But enough preaching. I haven’t seen the remnants of what she ate yet and I”m hoping it simply goes through her doggie system and is deposited the normal way in the back yard. Don’t you dare send me a possum for target practice; I hate the things too – it’s those little eyes that are beady and red when you turn the light on them and those long rat tales – ick; nasty little critters. Blechh. LOL
    Lovely subject, eh? Hugs!

  8. Won’t somebody defend the poor possum? They are quiet creatures whose first defense is to get out of the way. Their tails are practical – they move their babies by letting them climb on their back, then arch their tail above them so they can hang on while being moved. It’s adorable to watch. And, if for no other reason, they are such ancient creatures that they can’t harbor the rabies virus. It can’t live in their system.
    Well at least someone reads comments here! LOL. For goodness sake, I have nothing against possums, they just give me the creeps as I’m not fond of rodents – I would never intentionally harm one – they don’t harm me. We once caught a mama possum walking across our patio late at night and she had her babies clinging to her and it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen (except for the rat tail and the eyes, sorry). Go fuss at Mrsupole – she’s the one who wants to send possums to me for my target practice. ROFL. Elena, you have such a big heart – Hugs to you sweetie!

  9. Okay, I was just joking about harming the possums, but I do get kinda tired of them just walking around my backyard like they own it or something. I cannot keep track of how many of them there are that live around here. I try to shoot them to keep track of which one is which. Oh okay, I shoot them with the camera and somewhere in my post is that Possum poem I wrote. Now how many people out there write poems about their visiting possums.

    But we did catch one and took it to the shelter, well hubby took it, and while the possum was in the trap waiting for transport, I kept him fed and watered. He really enjoyed the grapes the most. Anyway when hubby took it to the shelter he said the lady who worked there just reached into the trap and grabbed the possum by the tail, pulled it out and was letting it hang upside down in the air and she kept saying, “Look at what I got here.” I think hubby was in shock to see anyone pick it up by the tail (mind you, she did not even have gloves on) and swing the thing in the air.

    Although it probably is kinda funny to see me chasing them around my backyard at 3 am in the morning or night, whichever you want to call it. Sometimes I have two in the yard at the same time, and my cats just sit there and watch me chase the possums and they are probably secretly laughing at me because they are not stupid enough to chase the darn things. But I figure it is a good way to get exercise.

    And now that I know they cannot get rabies, I will rest a little easier. I was worried that they might give my cats rabies and that is why I chase them out of my yard. But now how am I gonna get any exercise at 3 am. Geez, I will just have to keep pretending that they carry rabies and still chase them away. And I always know they are out there because they set off the motion detecting lights, and I think it was the Mama to this group that used to sit outside my sliding glass door and watch me in the family room. There is a whole group of them now and they too sometimes stop and look inside. It is a really weird feeling to look up and see them watching you.

    Okay, I better stop writing about the possums, but I am gonna try and catch them and who knows, I still might send one as my little homemade project. You know spraypaint the tail black and then put a bullseye painted around the buttocks area. LOL. Yup, I wonder what PETA would say about that one. Oh I am so sick, very sick in the head, must be too many pain pills, that is my only defense.

    God bless.
    Stop it, stop it, stop it, I can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard at the sight of this lady with a hurt shoulder and lips the size of Cleveland running around her back yard at 3 a.m. chasing after possums. Oh dear Gussie, I’m having a seizure and I’m gonna lose bladder control at any moment – I honestly have such a vision!!! Puhleeeze tell me you have no close neighbors who can simply stand at their windows and watch this show – and if you do, I am on my way to YouTube coz you have to be there somewhere on a video of possum chasing. If only that was an Olympic sport. Whew – I’m exhausted from all this laughing!!

    Send it to me decorated and it will be the last thing you ever send I promise you….I havent had time to get any of my 3 promised projects started and I’m so behind and feel so bad – here I put it in print and everything and has anyone gotten their special surprise from me? Duh, no. Well, I’m still taking this next semester off to rest and spend quality time with Devoted Spouse and I’ll work on my special projects then. If only I had enough artistic ability I’d paint a humongous picture of a possum just for you! LOL squared.

  10. Once Ringo’s been caught chewing on a rat, a mouse, a opossum, or a rabbit (and they can get tapeworm from rabbits! …so the vet told us), he’s not allowed in the house for a period of time, like a week. Just kidding. Seriously, it IS his job to keep these critters away from the house, and he does a very good job of it, although I’ve been keeping him from his job lately because I let him in the house wayyyy too much, so hubby says… LOL

    So the cats have taken away his rat and mouse patrol duties. As it should be.
    I try not to worry too much about EmmaLou and her wanderings – she’s caught a baby possum and has had her share of baby rabbits and birds, but she’s a dog – that’s what they do. We try and watch her when she’s out and she’s either in the fenced back yard or with one of us on a leash so it’s not like we can’t figure out pretty much what she’s gotten into. Still pretty yucky and she gets a thorough scrubbing and there is nothing she hates more than getting her teeth brushed – okay she hates having her ears cleaned, but she really gets squirmy with me when I brush her teeth – and her little brown eyes just have that indignant look that says Hurry Up and Get This Over With! She’s so cute!

  11. Welll, after reading through the comments, it looks like Ringo deserves a special award for all the opossums he has caught… they make the very sad mistake of thinking they can eat his dog food. Oh woe to the opossum who makes that mistake!!!
    Then we will declare Ringo the winner of the ‘possum catchin’ contest! LOL

  12. Your food pyramid is so hilarious and so spot-on 🙂
    LOL I thought so, too! Obviously the cartoonist understands the doggie world well.

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