I picked up the phone to order a pizza:
Pizza girl: Hello, Pizza Joint, is this for carry-out, delivery – or dine-in?
Me: (thinking to myself; if it was dine-in wouldn’ t I already BE there?) It’s for carry-out.
Pizza girl: Okay, Whadd’ya want?
Me: What types of crust do you have?
Pizza girl: *Deep sigh* – regular thin, that’s like no crust, ya know? Then we have deep dish or pan…
Me: Stop – I’ll take a pan pizza please with Italian sausage and extra cheese.
Pizza girl: So you want cheese on it?
Me: I not only want cheese, I want EXTRA cheese. Please.
Pizza girl: What size?
Pizza girl: Okay so that’s a large pan pizza w/Italian sausage and extra cheese. That’s $16.64. Or do you want it for $13.64?
Pizza girl: It’s either $16.64 or $13.34, which do you want?
Me: What’s the difference?
Pizza girl: $3.00
Me (internally hemorrhaging): No, why the difference in price?
Pizza girl: It’s $16.64 for the first pizza and $13.64 for the second pizza.
Me: You never said anything about two pizzas; I only want one pizza.
Pizza girl: Okay, $16.64 and it’ll be ready in 15 minutes.
Scene change: I hang up and wonder why I even tried this. A few minutes later I get in car and go off toward Pizza Joint.
I arrive at Pizza Joint and am met at counter by Pizza boy.
Pizza boy: Yeah?
Me: I ordered a pizza; name is Linda.
Pizza boy: It’ll be about 15 minutes.
Me: IT’S ALREADY BEEN 15 MINUTES!
Pizza girl enters: What’s your name again?
Pizza girl: Oh, here it is over here.
Me: Thank you and have a lovely night – buh-BYE!
Minimum wage is well earned by these two since they obviously excel in doing the minimum. Gah…..