Car Accidents…And You Thought Texting Was the Problem…

food fight

An article in my local paper’s lifestyle section the other day was entitled,  “The 10 Foods Involved in the Most Automobile Accidents”. Sounded interesting.

Okay, I’ll bite…

1.  Oysters…because they’re too slippery to turn the steering wheel.

2.  Whole grain bread...their nuts get in the way when they buckle their seatbelt.

3.  Lamb chops…have too hard a time reaching the pedals.

4.  Octopus…too many arms to signal turns properly…you don’t know where the hell they’re going.

5.  Butter beans…you know darned well they never took the driving test because they were shy about having their picture taken for the license.

6.  Beer…technically not a food, but still beer has been known to weave all over the road.

7.  French fries…no matter how hard they try, they can’t see out the windows.

8.  Oatmeal…no consistency in their driving whatsoever.

9.  Cheddar cheese…too sharp with other drivers which can lead to road rage which grates on everyone’s nerves…

10.  Bacon…tends to overheat in the South, leading to shrinkage and a loss of control.

Excuse me?  What?  Whadd’ya mean?  You said 10 foods that cause car accidents…Ohhhhhhh you mean while people are eating those foods. Oh…I get it now.

Nevermind.

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11 thoughts on “Car Accidents…And You Thought Texting Was the Problem…

  1. Ok. I’ve done the beer (oh) and the French fries….but none of the 8 others. OMG…that brings a new meaning to fast food!
    You didn’t get it, did you – c’mon, fess up – you don’t truly get me, huh? I still love u. LOL

  2. I read it after the Percocet.
    See, that explains it – that’s why I try and NOT blog when I have to take Percocet coz heaven only knows what I’ll write – just ask Tweetsville – I’ve done some bizarre tweets that I blame solely on Percocet! LOL Feel better soon sweetie!

  3. OMG! That is hilarious! Eating oysters while driving? Wow. I have got to try that:)
    Hi sweetie – I’m glad you got a giggle – but what I meant to convey was that the FOOD was doing the driving – hence the title of the article The 10 Foods Involved in the Most Automobile Accidents – get it now? It was the food involved – not us eating the food. I’m sorry – many times my humor is a bit off. But I’m glad you liked it anyway. LOL Hugs!

  4. Haha! Now I know why I haven’t seen bacon while driving… that makes perfect sense now!
    Wow – at least you and Michele got it. I was beginning to worry…LOL

  5. Poor whole grain bread…that would be painful!

    Love your twisted and fun sense of humor sweetie!

    PS
    video is up at my place :0)
    Glad you enjoyed! I’m on my way over to see video!

  6. I really love your sense of humour.

    I really wish I could think of a funny, witty and clever comment for your post but I cannot. My mind is a total blank.

    Give me a few hours to think about it and I may be back. Don’t hold your breath though.

    Take care,
    Sandy.
    I’m just glad I gave you a chuckle or two!

  7. That was too funny, but I guess some got it and some did not. Maybe you have to remember that those are nick names for people and kids, if that helps anyone.

    Now the “butter beans” could also be that they are illegal and did not get licensed. I don’t know why I thought of that one. And “french fries”, I was once one and was too short to see over the back seat, unless I stood up. Yea, I finally grew taller and can now see over the steering wheel. They had to take out my tonsils before I started growing though.

    Anyway that was funny, and it’s only been 4 hours since I had my Vicodin. Oh and my mom says that codeine causes the constipation. I will have to check to see if Vicodin has it. I think Percocet might have it too. We just can’t win. But a big bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats has sure been helping, along with the prune juice. But the gas, maybe “butter beans” can’t drive so well cause they are in a gas cloud. Heck I have been living in a gas cloud these last 4 weeks. A really big cloud. Sigh.

    God bless.
    Yes dahlink Vicodin is full of Codeine that’s why I can’t take it – I’m allergic to codeine it gives me hallucinations – really loony bin stuff that’s psycho ward crazy. Percocet is a combination of Oxycodone and Acetaminophen but it’s still a narcotic. Hope that helps a little. Percocet kills me colon wise and I eat alot of Devoted Spouse’s Fiber One bars to help plus grapes, prunes, plums, any type of fruit. Can’t eat cereal – it tends to raise my blood sugar and that’s already suspicious. Gah. It’s always something. I liked the “butter beans are in a gas cloud”. *chuckles* Hugs to you sweetie!

  8. Who eats oysters in the car? Love the cartoon!
    I am surprised by the fact that many didn’t understand this piece of whimsy on my part. I thought of all people, you would see it for what it was – foods involved in accidents – I hate to have to explain my posts, I truly hate it – but what I meant by this post was a humorous look at the foods themselves doing the driving, hence “involved” in accidents. Obviously I failed. Oh well, we all don’t have the same distorted sense of humor I have and that’s okay, too. MUAH!

  9. I do get your humor…what does that say about me….Holy Crap on a Crutch!!!
    Thanks for the giggle…
    I knew that you would…now what does that say about the both of us? LOL

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