There is a new product on the market these days. It’s a bracelet you wear to repel mosquitoes and other pests for up to 100 hours. It’s called Bug Bam and I’d like to get my own version of this bracelet. I can think of many pests I’d like to repel for up to 100 hours at a time.
I would have a Bug Bam bracelet at home and an emergency backup Bug Bam bracelet in my car . What a concept.
Say I’m getting ready to turn into the shopping center and the old lady in the big Lincoln ahead of me is turning into the shopping center also, but just as she crosses the threshold of the parking lot she hesitates or stops, thus leaving my a$$ hanging out in the main line of traffic just waiting to be slammed into and flipped into the air. Bug Bam! She’s out of my way for the next 100 hours and I get into the shopping center unharmed.
Or EmmaLou, the Golden Destroyer, is about to make a nosedive into the hidden-to-the-casual-observer pile of moose poop in the back yard. Bug Bam! EmmaLou is distracted from moose poop for the next 100 hours and continues to smell doggie sweet.
See how this is shaping up to be a wonderful product?
Boss getting on your last nerve? Bug Bam! He finds himself in the crapper for the next 100 hours with no toilet paper in sight. I like this product more and more.
You sit down at the kitchen table to enjoy a nice dinner with your Devoted Spouse when the phone rings. It’s a telemarketing scum of the earth…Bug Bam! Electrical discharge from your phone back into their ear and instant telemarketing lobotomy for the next 100 hours. I like this. This is fun.
It’s been a long hard day. You’re tired, you put your feet up on the coffee table, take a pull off a cold Rolling Rock beer, flip on the tv only to be faced by the screaming man hawking ShamWow. Bug Bam! For the next 100 hours he’s ShamWowed into total silence. Ahhhh sweet mysteries of life.
You venture into Target to pick up prescriptions forgetting it’s Back to School sale day and there are moms and fidgety children everywhere all blocking your path to your much-needed drugs. Bug Bam! Aisle 7 and its obnoxious occupants disappear for the next 100 hours and you merrily go on your way to the Pharmacy and then wander to your heart’s delight through the cosmetics aisles and check out with no hassles. Muahahahaha.
How about…the retirement check hasn’t posted to the bank account yet. You walk to the mailbox only to discover inside waiting for you is the astronomical bill from the dentist who is buying a new boat from the money you are paying him to replace that pesky crown. Bug Bam! The Dentist gets the toothache of his life and puts bookkeeping on hold for another 100 hours.
Yes, so many uses come to mind, I could go on and on; the idea alone just makes me smile. Bug Bam!