If I Only Had a Brain…or Quick, Get the Whipped Cream

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photo: libraryguides.unh.edu/content.php?pid=59348

It was only a matter of time.  I’m surprised it took a whole day.  But it happened nevertheless.  I lost my brain.

Devoted Spouse left early Sunday morning to visit his 16-month old grandson out in Iowa.  I drove him to the airport and all was well; no flat tires, no engine trouble; I didn’t even miss my exit on the highway coming home.

You see, when Devoted Spouse is separated from me physically something strange happens.  I become stupid.  Okay now some people might want to argue this point a tad and suggest I use a different word because “stupid” is rather harsh.  No.  When he’s gone, I get stupid.  It is a fact of life — we have documented this time and time again.  When he is not here, part of my brain shuts down; not the part that remembers things like how to brush my teeth, or how to read.

The part of my brain that disappears has to do with things like forgetting appointments (note to self: you have one today; don’t forget to look at sticky note on mirror that tells you you have an appointment today), or closing and locking doors or the big one…

I’m nuts when Devoted Spouse is gone.  It isn’t just  forgetting to do the little stuff when he isn’t here;  when he’s gone I tend to do stupid things and make stupid decisions.   Sunday I was alright; after church I went out to breakfast with friends and I didn’t knock my coffee over and I got myself home safely.  I spent most of Sunday relaxing as I was still sore from Saturday’s shooting adventure.

Monday was bad — Monday I became bored.  I had read enough.  I didn’t feel good enough to tackle another closet.  I wanted to go shopping but I didn’t know where I wanted to shop.  There was nothing on tv; I’d already watched everything I DVR’d; whine, whine, whine.  Monday afternoon I did go out and run a couple of errands.  I got my “stuff” inside and about 2 hours later I was sitting on the couch contemplating how nice Chinese food would be for supper  when it suddenly dawned on me I had never gone back out to the car and shut the door (my hands had been full at the time).  Unbelievable – I peeked out the kitchen door and yes, the garage door was still up and the back door of the car was still open.  See?  Stupid kickin’ in big time.

I ordered Chinese food; went back out to pick it up and bring it home.  I unloaded my amazing Shrimp Lo Mein onto a nice dish, poured myself a Diet A&W Root Beer, sat down on the couch in the family room and watched the news.  All the while, the amazing EmmaLou was sitting by my side with tons of doggie drool coming out of her mouth.  I kept saying, “Not a chance, Emma, you know what Shrimp Lo Mein does to you.”  I kept on eating.  I followed the Shrimp Lo Mein with a very small bowl of ice cream which whipped cream on top — you know the type you spray out of the can?  EmmaLou LOVES to have you spray whipped cream at her so she can try and grab it in the air as it makes its way towards her doggie mouth.  So we did that. And then it happened…

I FORGOT TO FEED MY DOG HER DINNER!  I didn’t pour 1 and 1/2 cups of gag-in-the-throat dog kibble into her bowl – oh she had plenty of fresh water in her other bowl, and we went out and walked around as she did a doggie constitutional, but I left out the most important step.  I didn’t actually feed her.  Gah…what a horrible doggie mom I am!

What’s really bad about this is later we did the rest of our nighttime routine – go outside , take a little walk around the back yard sniffing for rabbits, come in, lock all the doors, turn out the lights, grab a few pieces of kibble as a bedtime treat, go upstairs, turn on tv in bedroom, go to bed.  She laid on the bed with me and shut her little brown eyes, sighed, and went to doggie dreamland.

She woke me up at 4:30 this morning – the poor little girl was hungry.  As I stood in the kitchen making coffee and watching her scarf down her kibble it dawned on me that I hadn’t fed her the night before.  I was horrified.  And I’m just stupid.  She got an extra 1/2 cup of rations this morning and seemed happy.  After I poured my cup of coffee she looked up at me and I knew what she wanted.  So, yes, this morning we once again played the whipped cream game.

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Now I can usually arc a good high stream of Reddi-Whip into the air for her, but do you know how hard it is to spray the whipped cream with your left hand while your right hand is trying to take the picture?  We sort of made a bit of a mess, but EmmaLou loved it and I think she has now forgotten that I didn’t feed her supper Monday night.

Sigh…that’s another sticky note on the mirror…

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10 thoughts on “If I Only Had a Brain…or Quick, Get the Whipped Cream

  1. Poor EmmaLou! Bad Mommy, bad, bad Mommy! Glad you gave her extra rations as well as more whipped cream. Now make your “have to do” list, make copies and plaster them all over the house. How long is DS going to be gone? I’m hoping you and EmmaLou survive.
    I have sticky notes on all the doors and on the mirror in my bathroom. Gah we’ll get through this. It’s not like she doesn’t have a couple of extra pounds on her and is starving – but I really felt bad – I can’t believe I forgot to feed her. This too shall pass. He’ll be home soon.

  2. Quit beating yourself up….you made up for it. And you know dogs have no memory!
    But how many people forget to feed their own beloved pet? Good grief. Yeah, her short term memory is about as long as mine..I’m sorry, what were we talking about? ROFLMAO in whipped cream induced doggie gas fog!

  3. Add me to the bad doggie mommy list. I forget to feed her at least once a week! She’s not a big eater to begin with an 98% of the time her breakfast is still in her bowl when I get home from work, so why add more food at dinner time? I know. I’m a bad, bad doggie Mommy. Probly a good thing I never had kids;)
    At least once a week you forget??? I feel better now, thank you. I think it’s good I never had kids, too. Now if I could just forget MY dinner once in awhile… *sigh*

  4. I’m sure EmmaLou didn’t starve to death you just may not want to do that very often. The whipped cream thing looks fun. My dogs love it when we toss them ice from the ice maker.
    EmmaLou used to think ice was the neatest treat in the world…then she discovered Reddi-Whip and now an ice cube can sit on the kitchen floor forever as long as she’s concerned. Her vet wanted her to lose weight about a year ago and he told me to stop giving her “treats” and instead use a piece of her dog kibble as a “treat” because she wouldn’t know the difference. I don’t need a “vet” degree to tell you she knows the difference. LOL

  5. What a fun thing to do…….spray whipped cream in your dogs face. Think I’ll try it with my cat – or not. Might be dangerous with a cat.
    Sorry you have the “stupids” – I get them frequently but haven’t pinpointed the cause.
    Oh Dear Gawd it better be because Devoted Spouse isn’t here otherwise I might have to put up with this nonsense on a recurring basis. Yeah we had fun w/the whipped cream – she had waaaaay too much and got serious doggie gas. Ick. The things I endure to get a picture…

  6. Forgetting to feed the poor dog? Geez. I could never do that cause my dog spends most of her waking hours sitting next to her empty food bowl. If anything, I feed her twice. I love the whipped cream game. Our game is to throw popcorn at my almost 15 year old dog and she loves to jump up and catch it.
    We used to use popcorn but it got stuck in her teeth and the vet got mad at me. If he knew about the whipped cream he’d smack me upside the head so don’t tell him please.

  7. Hey, great pics of Emma Lou grabbing the whip cream … we do the exact same thing with our dogs!! They know the sound of that stupid little lid on the whip cream. I kid you not, that generic, boring looking little cap of a lid, and they can tell the difference in sound from anything else we take out of the frig. They do luv their whip cream, don’t they? Hubby likes to throw chips in the air for them to catch — I prefer NOT to give them the chips. I feel it’s junk food they don’t need. (I’m sure they totally disagree with me on that one.)

    You’re not a horrible doggie mom just because you forgot to feed her one night. I know I probably do it every now and then. They’re not gonna starve! LOL
    I’m glad I’m not the only one who plays with whipped cream and their dog at the same time. And yes, she knows the cap to the Reddi-Whip – it’s almost eerie I can get it out of the fridge so quietly and turn around and she’s sitting right there waiting for her shot. So funny to watch.

  8. OMG Cronie,
    These pics have me laughing my ass off! Now I want to get a can of whipped cream for Coco. I never knew dogs like cool whip.
    I hope DS comes home soon.
    You need to snap out of your Stoopid State!!!
    LOL LOL
    EmmaLou only likes Reddi-Whip coz it’s made with REAL cream and she’s a very discerning doggie – cool whip has no cream in it and she doesn’t like it – I’ll take either one coz I have no shame at all. I was almost afraid to leave the house today – that’s why after boobie appt I just laid on couch and watched bad movie after bad movie and napped alot. Can’t do stupid when you’re asleep. And yes, I fed EmmaLou tonight!

  9. You’re so funny. Glad Emma is okay. Just get an automatic feeder like we did for our cats. If empty they whine and whine till we fill it up.

    God bless.
    I hadn’t thought of an automatic feeder – but will it keep on feeding because she’ll keep on eating as long as there is kibble in front of her – she’s like her mama, never knows when to stop! She rarely whines unless she’s really feeling tummy-upsets and wants to go outside and we’re not paying attention. Otherwise she just stares at me like I’m supposed to read her doggied mind and know what she wants. Sometimes I can, and sometimes I have no clue what she wants from me so I just stare back at her.

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