Driving Miss Daisy…or Driving to Distraction


I recently read a survey done by Allstate Insurance which lists my area as one of the top places for safe drivers.  In fact, my city is ranked 12th in the nation as being among the safest drivers.  Being ranked 12th is pretty good, so I’m wondering what type of drugs the statistical analyzer  for Allstate Insurance was taking when he added up all the columns in his itty-bitty Excel spreadsheet of driving dos and don’ts as he reached this conclusion.

To think that we are 12th in the nation in order of safe drivers concerns me because I drive the streets of this area frequently and what I see makes me want to turn my car around and head back to the relative safety of my living room comfy chair and order everything via laptop shopping.  I’m sorry, Allstate, but Dayton, Ohio has some of the most distracted drivers I’ve seen.

Now the Number 1 area in the country for the worst driving is Washington, DC.  I agree with that wholeheartedly as I lived in that area of the country for the first 29 years of my life and frequently visit there now.  Any time one enters onto a street even if driving a the largest SUV available, there is the distinct possibility someone will run over you and never look back.  DC drivers are the most inattentive I’ve seen — they’re busy texting, drinking coffee, putting on makeup and reading.  Now I don’t mean to offend anyone but DC is also a very diverse area, especially the Northern Virginia suburbs – full of nice folks from other countries who may not understand the English language (I’m really trying to be nice about this) and don’t necessarily follow the “American” driving laws.  How some of these folks got their driving licenses is beyond me…but the ones I’ve seen who drive the worst tend to be Oriental women and men of Middle Eastern descent.  (Now is that politically correct enough?)  If you drive in Annandale, or Alexandria, or Springfield, Virginia and you spot a Korean lady in an SUV any where close to you, hit that accelerator for all it’s worth and get the heck out of her way because she is not paying attention to you.  Trust me on this – I’ve had recent experience.  As for the men of Middle Eastern descent, they drive like the cabdrivers in the city; fast and furious and without a care for whatever color a traffic light may be.  Stay as far away as possible.

Now…back to Dayton drivers being ranked 12th.  I still maintain there is a statistical error here somewhere.  I’m on the road virtually daily (even though I’m retired, I’m a busy little doober) driving up and down the highways and the city roads, county roads, and back roads going from shopping to physical therapy and sometimes just out for a drive.   I always thought the main idea of driving was to get the car and its occupants  to a destination safely.  Period.  This is not the time to be playing games on your iPhone.  In my area the purpose of driving is to do as many other activities as possible at the same time.  Talk on the cell, text, unfold that map completely and hold it up in front of you, or put on your mascara, drink coffee with one hand, have a cigarette in the other and steer with your knees.  Not long ago I saw one young woman actually was allowing her small yappy dog to have its paws up on the wheel pretending it was driving.  Where are the cops when you want them?   And you probably don’t want to hear about the young couple I saw not long ago on a local street — he was driving and she was in the passenger seat…and then she leaned toward him and disappeared…I followed them for awhile and kept telling myself she must have dropped something on the floor…uh-huh…  As I passed that car, he had a smile on his face and as it dawned on me what was going on in that car I completely forgot my own destination.    Holey moley Batman – the things people do when they’re supposed to be driving!

Here’s a safe driving tip for  you:  don’t read a paperback book while driving — saw that one going down the highway the other day — he passed me and I swear to you he had a paperback book on his steering wheel and his head was bobbing up and down.  How do you follow the plot to a book while at the same time not slam into the vehicle in front of you?  This guy was talented, that’s for sure.  I don’t know if he made it to his destination; I hope he only had a few more paragraphs to go — I moved over a lane and got out of his way just in case.

We’ve all seen folks shaving in the morning – fortunately most of these have been men.  I haven’t seen a woman shaving while driving, but it would no longer surprise me.  After all, some of us who are menopausal do have that occasional little hair sticking out of the chin and what better time to shave it off than while driving to work in the morning?  Ackkk.

The Dayton suburbs  have our share of little old people drivers — you know the ones who can hardly see over the steering wheel and always do about 20 miles under the speed limit in the left hand lane.  They may think that’s safe – but that’s when I want the Sherman tank or Monster truck so I can simply roll right over the top of them and keep on going.  Sorry but anyone doing 45 on a highway in the left lane deserves to become a permanent part of the roadbed with my wheel prints on the roof of their car.  Ouch.  Get out of my way — that’s why God invented the far right lane — for slow, little old ladies and those entering and exiting the highway.  Period.

BTW the Number 1 safest driving city in the country was Sioux Falls, SD.  I’m clueless on that one but I bet it has something to do with the fact that cows drive slowly…


8 thoughts on “Driving Miss Daisy…or Driving to Distraction

  1. Around here, its the Hispanics that you see in 1 out of 2 vehicle accidents. A bunch of ’em are leaving because of the economy and going back to “Meheco”.
    I’m getting all misty thinking about it.
    Just make sure it’s not your car they’re drivin back to Meheco…

  2. I love the cartoon! If only that would truly happen, imagine all the bad drivers the car computers would ground.

    I did your awesome thing. Geez, it wasn’t easy. I do NOT like to put myself out there–that’s why I write murder mysteries. It’s easier to kill off characters.
    I think the cartoon made a strong statement. I’ll be right over to your blog to check out your “awesomeness”! I promise not to tag you again – I don’t particularly enjoy them either but the awards are so nice. 🙂

  3. I used to have a friend that was also my boss that drove like a bat out of hell while steering with her knees, putting on makeup and brushing her hair. I would be plastered against the passenger door praying we landed safely. I know what you mean. I can’t walk and chew bubble gum at the same time so I try very hard to stay focused when I drive.
    I scare the crap outta myself when I just try and change a CD – I can’t take my eyes off the road for a second – if my cell phone rings I just let it go to voicemail and if I have to make a call I pull off into a parking lot somewhere. Some of these drivers are flippin’ nuts to text and drive at same time!

  4. Too many distractions, and not enough police to keep track of all the nuts on the road. Out here all the teenagers think they are drag racers and our freeways are full of them zipping in and out of the lanes inbetween the normal speeders. Heck if you go less than 80 you will have someone riding your ass, flipping you off trying to get you to move out of their way. And that is just the right lane. Sometimes trying to get on the freeway is very hard because of the idiots not letting you get on and thinking that you are bothering them by getting into their right lane. It is insane sometimes here. The right lane should be for entering and exiting and for the people going under 80, but not with the dumb ass teenagers and under 25 group.

    And you are right about the orientals and being part oriental, I should know this. Out in Orange County, which is Oriental County, if they want to turn left and they are in the right lane than they just turn their car left and visaversa. Oh okay, not all of them do this, but enough to make driving there downright scarey. I just slow down and crawl when in that county cause they never turn their heads.

    And I think all cab drivers drive like shit and think they own the road. And we have so many hispanics that drive like they do down in their countries that I forget to drive normal and just join them. Let’s see, run the stop signs and red lights, forget to use turn signal lights, pull out in front of your car when leaving a parking lot, and a whole lot of other dumb ass things too. How the heck am I related to them too.

    Now that little bit of white blood that I have is the part of me that tells me to be afraid, very afraid when I get into a car and start the engine. And the scariest damn person to drive with is my white husband. He tailgates and thinks he owns the road and everyone needs to move out of his way. I have just decided that bad drivers are bad drivers and that is all there is to it.

    I am just one of the good drivers and people had better watch out for us good drivers. We are the ones who are smart enough to know how to speed up and get out of the way just before the accident happens. We avoid you when you pull out in front of us and then you hit the next guy. We sverve to the right when you sverve to the left. Yup that is what makes someone a good driver, the good driver gets their ass out of the way of all the dumb ass bad drivers.

    Why can’t they all just drive normal? Sigh.
    I do the driving in the family most of the time (at least now that I’m healed enough to drive again). Devoted Spouse has too big a temper on the road and he’s been known to chase people down the highway until I scream at him to knock it off. Men and their tempers – ugh. Okay, I get mad, too, but I NEVER do anything about it, coz you don’t know which nutcase has a gun in their car and will shoot you as soon as look at you. Life on the road is always dangerous and I always try and pay attention. Except the night Devoted Spouse was having a heart attack and asked me to take him to the hospital – I had just taken serious sleeping medicine (Ambien) and I about killed both of us trying to fight off the drug and drive him to the hospital. I fell asleep at his bedside and the nurses just thought I was exhausted from the ordeal of his being sick – little did she know I was drugged to the gills. I know Angels are the only reason we got to that hospital safely that night. Shortly thereafter I quit taking Ambien – I don’t ever want to be under the influence of a drug if my husband should need me in the middle of the night again like that! Really scared me – he hurt too much to be scared; he just kept saying things like, “Honey you’re on the wrong side of the road.” Ackkkkk….. Of course I should have just called 911 – but we didn’t realize at the time he was having a heart attack – he just felt very, very bad and wanted to go to the hospital. I should have known coz he hates doctors and hospitals, but again I was half-asleep.

  5. My business partner is the worse driver in the world. We do a lot of traveling in our business and when she is driving I just want to throw up. She will be turned completely sideways in the rivers seat with her right leg up on the seat, driving with her left leg and talking 90 miles an hour. Sometimes I have to yell for her to get back on the right side of the road. She does the riving with her knees thing too. If I die in a car wreck while working you can bet she was driving. I’m pretty sure Oklahoma was no where near the top of the list for safe drivers.
    Doesn’t she get wet in the rivers seat? I’m so confused… I’ll have to check I’m not sure they even counted Oklahoma… LOL

  6. I had to drive through Ohio whenever I left Michigan…unless I was smart enought to sneak out through Indiana…

    People from Ohio cannot drive…even here in Virginia I see it from people with Ohio plates. There is something in the air over the entire state.
    But I’m from Virginia and dammit I can drive baby, I can drive. I just happen to have an Ohio license tag unfortunately…and an Ohio address…and I’m beginning to lose my Virginia accent and starting to say stupid Ohio things like “Where’s it at?” Oh Gawd get me out of Ohio…..

  7. I have lived in Florida and most people would think it is the blue haired ladies that you would have to watch out for,, Um no actually it is the ones that have the thousand of piercings all over their face that you actually have to watch out for, and Here in Missouri I wonder where these people actually got their license from Then I got to thinking well this is the Show me State what do I need to get out and Show them how to back out the parking lot or green means go.. when I first moved here I kid you not people were actually stopping at a green light or stop in the middle of the intersection after the light has turned green and looked both ways. I’m actually thinking that the drivers in Florida were not that bad or we have people that like to come out of the parking lots into the middle of the road like a bolt of lightening with inches to spare out onto the highway right in front of you.. Some people just need to stay home park the car and take public transportation from now on..
    Nope — bus drivers scare the livin’ daylights outta me – they’re the worst drivers in the world next to the stupid guys who drive the ice cream trucks with the song that goes on and on over and over until I want to get the shotgun out and run across the front yard and ….well you get the idea…

  8. I wonder where Texas was ranked. We have mean drivers- and I mean cruel. Every year since I have been driving, I have had to avoid accidents like the plaque because someone either wasn’t watching where they were going, or they just didn’t care. Last year, we had come to a 4-way stop. Well, it was my turn to go through and when I was, this SUV was speeding through and DID NOT STOP!! I had to slam on my breaks to avoid a head on collision. After that, I was shaking and scared. Sometimes I hate driving…
    We have 4-way stops here where you just pray the other guys are gonna stop. They don’t care about stop signs or stoplights around here. It can get a little hairy.

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