Since staying relatively close to home and resting my injured body these past many months, I’ve found many hours of free time with nothing to do but read books, peruse the internet, and look at local papers. One finds the strangest stories in the local paper and I can’t help myself — I have to relate these items to you because it isn’t any fun unless one shares.
Not long ago I awakened a bit foggy-headed, made my way downstairs to my comfy chair where Devoted Spouse had the morning’s paper waiting. I hadn’t had any coffee and I wasn’t really with it, but I started reading the paper anyway. I came across an article which stated that Ohio Chlamydia cases surpass those anywhere else in the U.S. There even was a little chart with red and blue lines showing the rise of Chlamydia cases over a period of years. My first thought was , well, damn skippy good for us; at least Ohio is first at something. Then my coffee was delivered, I took a few sips and my brain kicked in. I realized that Chlamydia is a venereal disease and it’s safe to say my pride in my state was just all shot to hell. What a fact to be famous for. Ick.
Yesterday, again I picked up the local paper only this time to find out some scientific stuff that is truly creepy. It seems that alligators in Florida are developing stunted genitals. What a surprise the female alligators are in for during mating season – can you imagine the snickering going on in the rivers as the lady alligators get together and start comparing notes? Not only that, it appears there are some bizarre deformities showing up in other water animals, such as frogs, salamanders, and smallmouth bass. The smallmouth bass are becoming “intersex fish”; in other words, there are boy bass who are laying eggs. What is this world coming to? Then I got to the part of the story that is really scary — this stuff is happening to people, too. This article claims 7% of newborn baby boys are being born with undescended testicles which, fortunately for them, tend to self-correct over time. Now here is a perfect spot in this story for me to talk about men who have no b@lls, but I won’t sink to that level. It is, however, tempting.
Instead I will tell you what the “experts” think is happening. There are chemicals being released into the atmosphere, the world, the water, and various other places known as endocrine disruptors. You didn’t think you’d get a science lesson today, did you? These endocrine disruptors are “widely used in agriculture, industry, and consumer products.” The problem is the article never explains what the heck these endocrine disruptors are — what is the chemical(s) being used and how do we stop this?
The article went on to tell me that some of these chemicals are showing up in our water supply — from (this is not nice) the estrogens in human urine (as in when a woman is on the pill) showing up in our sewage and water treatment plants. Oh crap on a crutch, we’re all drinking estrogen. Now that might explain why over the last 25 years my Devoted Spouse has become so much more of a sensitive guy – ya know, the kind that cries when the National Anthem plays, or if a puppy gets hurt…good Lawd he’s drinking estrogen out of the kitchen faucet. I swear I’m going back to bottled water for him.
There actually is a group of people known as the Endocrine Society who issued a 50-page statement on this — 50 pages of what these endocrine disruptors are doing to all of us. One of the more amazing side effects is a link to cancer in both men and women, issues with thyroid, metabolism, and obesity. Whoa up! It’s not the Whoppers or the Big Macs, you nasty marketing sumb*tches…it’s endocrine disruptors wreaking all this havoc. Holy moley Batman.
The EPA has known about this since at least 2003 and yet I’m just now finding out that a honcho at the Science and Environmental Health Network thinks we should be concerned. I’m feeling pretty sorry for all those fish who don’t understand why they’re laying eggs and those poor alligators who can’t get busy,not to mention the impact on humans.
Here’s a direct quote from a professor of environmental health science at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, Robert Lawrence. Are you ready? He states: “It’s scary, very scary.” Ya think d*pstick? I say it’s time to stop worrying about mercury in tuna and find out what the heck is an endocrine disruptor.
And for goodness sake limit your water intake from the kitchen faucet unless your spouse needs to be a bit more sensitive. But, if you find your husband trying on your lingerie – that’s it – rip that faucet right out and hand him a bottle of Evian water instead!