Home on the the Range Which is out of My Range…

money roll

pic from localism.com/.../906341/Credit-Your-Best-Friend

Yes, it’s finally true.  I went to Sears Wednesday and took advantage of a sale and bought a new Jenn-Air range/oven to replace the piece of crap GE Profile that had been in the house since it was built and which died a horrible death last January, the same day I had my accident.  It was an eerie coincidence.  I fell, and the oven went Tango Uniform.   This is what the old piece of crap looks like: notice the ugly burners – ugh!

piece 'o crap

El piece 'o crap

Here is El Piece o’ Crap’s  entirely too expensive replacement.  The only difference is I ordered it in black, but could only find a picture of the stainless steel.  Use your imagination.    Suffice to say it has a nice clear cooktop and a convection oven and it’s reeeeeel purteeee.  The good part is I get 12 whole months to pay it off – and I’m going to need every one of them!

Jenn AirMany of the Jenn Airs you see advertised have the cute little grill on one side, but I just wanted burners – we grill outside or use our George Foreman grill inside.   Still it cost  a small fortune even with various sales and discounts.  It about killed me to have to do this, but being without an oven for almost 6 months now is long enough.  And the biggest issue is this appliance has to have its own downdraft system because it sits in the middle of the room with no overhead vent.  Had I thought about this at the time I bought this house, I might not have bought this house for just that reason.  Downdraft oven/ranges are not cheap.  In fact this is probably the most money I’ve ever spent on an appliance in my life..oh yeah there was that weird night I couldn’t sleep and ended up with a Montel Williams emulsion blender – but that’s merely a minor aberration on my part and it didn’t cost that much (really).

We were long  overdue to fix this problem so I sucked it up and turned over my Sears charge card and shivered with fear.    As you can deduce by the first picture next we will have to replace the countertops on the island and throughout the kitchen.  More money I don’t have going into this money pit so I can sell it one of these days, if the housing market ever improves, and move into something smaller and in a more southerly location.

I’m a tad worried about this entire transaction.  First of all the man in the appliance section didn’t smell too nice.  His Right Guard had given out on him; although he was a nice enough gentleman.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him not to raise that arm.  He was a considerably older gentleman and I felt bad because he said he had retired and then come back to work and would probably work till he died.  What a sad commentary on today.

Lest I get too far off subject and all maudlin on you about various economic woes…what worried me most about this was that it was too easy.  I did a little internet research, found what I wanted, took a picture of what we currently have, Devoted Spouse took all appropriate  measurements, we marched into Sears and 15 minutes later I was signing the bill and had delivery and installation all set up.  It was entirely too easy.

The last time something was this easy the wrong couch was delivered – but I liked the color better so I never told the store they had made a mistake.   This time we have to wait for a call from the installer who is a contractor of Sears, probably named Bubba and has interchangeable magnetic signs for the side of his panel truck depending on what he’s doing on any given day.   He’ll give us details of exactly when he’ll be here  to deliver and install.  Now, we’re getting ready to run away for a few days so I’m sure Bubba will call while we’re gone, we won’t answer or return his call, and he’ll cross us off his list only to tell us when we return that he can’t possibly install this until April of 2010 because he’s booked up. Of course by then Sears will no longer carry this model and I’ll just have to give up on having an oven at all.  That would be my luck you know.  You know the crap that follows me around.  I’m telling you, I’m uneasy about this purchase and my blood pressure won’t settle down until that oven/range is in, installed, and working correctly.  In the meantime, while I wait, I’m supposed to go to the country for a few days of relaxation.  I will no doubt spend those days pacing and worrying about coming home to find a range/oven just sitting out in my driveway on some wooden pallet in the rain and some strange guy with a bad comb-over and those wide suspenders peeling out of my driveway in his panel truck with the bald tires squealing.    Gah…..

Okay – back to the store — While I’m making all these arrangements, Devoted Spouse notices a sign on the oven/range that states “Take this home today.”  He says, “Honey, we can just take this home with us.”   I envisioned him trying to get that oven into my car, let alone trying to get the old one out of the kitchen and hook up the new one.   I can hardly walk and he thinks he can simply take this oven home with us.  I was successful in stifling the hysterical laughter that threatened to come out of my open mouth and simply gave him “the look.”    He somewhat meekly walked back to my side while I finished the transaction.  Good man.  Don’t make me end up in the Heart hospital today with pains running down my arm; our vacation is paid for and it’s right around the corner.

Anyway, the nice, but fragrant, man at Sears also told me something slightly suspicious.  He said if our electric is not up to code the installer may have to charge us additionally to fix the problem.  Huh?  Why would a house built in the early 1990s  not be up to code?  That really bothered me, but not as much as when the Sears man quickly amended that statement to include the fact that this rarely happens.  Again, he doesn’t know my life, does he?  Now I have to sleep at night wondering if my house is up to code.  Ackkkk.

I’m having visions of the oven not fitting through the door, the delivery/installer ripping my floor or destroying my cabinets, or any other of a thousand things that could happen.  What if it is installed and the next day Gretchen the Housecleaner Extraordinairre decides to clean the cooktop with Comet.  Oh, the scenarios in my head are getting uglier by the moment.    I just want this over with.  Then again, maybe they’ll bring the wrong model and it will be nicer and I’ll just have to overlook that it’s the wrong one… Nah.

Oh sweet merciful heavens this means I have to cook again.  I wonder if I can cancel the order…


13 thoughts on “Home on the the Range Which is out of My Range…

  1. Just so you know, the sales people don’t know Jack! We bought a new fridge, had it delivered, plugged that bad boy in and waited several hours. Opened it and…..nothin’. Not cold inside, not eve close. I called customer service and she tells me “Oh you have to put food in it before it will get cold. There are sensors inside. It knows when it’s empty.” Right.
    Oh great – scare me with horror stories — I guess that means I have to actually have food in my oven before it will cook! LOL I just want this to go smoothly and history tells me it won’t!

  2. WTH? You shouldn’t have to update the electrical. Trust me, if that was the case nothing in this POS rental would have been installed. Salesmen are always full of it.

    Have fun with the new oven. You deserve it. You’ve had a rough year.
    Would you believe I also stopped at half-price books store and found a couple of cookbooks – Mediterrranean even! I am looking forward to the new oven – it signals another step toward normalcy for me and and end to this nightmare I’ve been through. I was so not impressed w/salesman – he was only doing what he was told – thank God for warranties.

  3. LOL Perfect cartoon to go along with a perfect post. Apparently we have similar luck. Ugh…..

    The stove is a beauty and it should be a joy to cook on. Or maybe not?
    It’s been so long since I used an oven I’m not sure I remember what to do to actually bake something – and with it being summer and hot, who wants a 450 degree oven running? But when fall comes and I get to put that first apple/raisin pie in the oven and baked a nice juicy chicken – woo-hoo will I ever be happy!

  4. Good luck with your new toy/tool. It looks bee-yoo-tiful. The top is pretty sturdy but they do scratch and break. Paul opened a cabinet to the side of my first glass top range and a little glass jar jumped out and landed on the top and broke it. No fixing that! Its replacement was the priciest appliance I had ever bought at that time, too.
    yeah the salesman warned me about that, too. One more thing I have to worry about… LOL

  5. My Dad has a saying “Hope for the best but plan for the worst”. Think positive!
    I always have a Plan B in mind. LOL

  6. I am going south this weekend to see my folks and I think it will be time for my mom to fess up – that you were a child she gave up! I go thru the same scenarios in my head….my hubby rolls his eyes at me ( I always feel the need to verbalize these scenarios and the dogs don’t care so that leaves my hubby to listen)…then I get annoyed because he rolls his eyes. It’s an ugly time…..!

    Daughter #2 worked at Sears while in college and they were trained to say all these specific warnings ( evidently Sears has a phobia about being sued or something….)

    Have a happy holiday and leave the worrying to me!
    Well, sister, enjoy your time with our folks and send them my best. I’ll keep worrying coz that’s what we do! LOL

  7. When is dinner? I have a google alert set up for “my quality time” and your blog post showed up there “my” and “time” I thought I know who that is.. pretty neat.
    That is neat! Since it’s not delivered until 9 July, dinner will be just a tad late!! First I have to remember how to cook. LOL Cya in Twitterville!

  8. One of the reasons I have a wall oven and a separate cook top is that they are less expensive to replace. And, I don’t have to bend to get things out of the oven. 😉

    Congrats in the new appliance!
    I had that type of setup at my old house and I miss it – oh well I’ll get Devoted Spouse to do the bending and lifting – I just want a stove that doesn’t have “hot spots” and is even and an oven that works – I’m totally excited over this! Wish it hadn’t cost an arm and a leg though, but oh well. That’s life.

  9. Now my life must be dull, but I would find it very exciting to get a new oven! And I think this is a woman thing – that we tend to imagine the worst scenarios while the men think no problem.
    We are on the same page there sister!

  10. I’m glad you finally got the new range/oven but sorry for the hit to the wallet. Sucks but what are ya’ gonna do? Just think of all the neat things you can make/bake when it gets cooler. I think I’d like a piece of that apple and raisin pie. Sounds super yummy!
    I just haven’t felt well enough until now to deal with it frankly. Now that I’m doing better, I feel like cooking and baking again (only it’s getting too hot to use the oven) – and yes, my apple/raisin pie is dang good! Even I eat it and I don’t like pie as a rule (I don’t like piecrust). Have a happy 4th!


    Electrical codes are updated every three years. New code requirements require a four wire (Two hots, a neutral and a ground wire) connection. It is about carrying “unbalanced load” back to ground. It doesn’t mean that the current setup you have is unsafe, but the installer may not preform the install or make you sign a waiver that they are not responsible for this connection.

    That might be as simple as I can make it. The salesman, although smelly, appears to be correct on this one…
    Thank you sweetie – I thought about asking you but you beat me to it. So this could mean I might have to get a “For Real Electrician” involved and not just the installer. Devoted Spouse wanted to install it himself and fortunately I talked him out of it. I think it might be a little more involved than just “all ya gotta do is plug it in.” LOL Have a happy 4th!

  12. I’m still laughing because you got the wrong couch and kept it. Too much! Have fun with your new jewel? What are you going to bake for us?
    I can already smell the apple/raisin pie, and some muffins, absolutely my own Peasant Pizza, and a host of other goodies. Then I’ll waddle over to the new Mediterranean Cookbooks and start back on healthy food to lose the weight I’m gonna gain from eating the apple/raisin pie, the pizza, etc. I may even make some bread! Then again I may just look at the thing with a quizzical look on my face and call for take-out. You know me…

  13. I just read the one about DS doing the electrical and thank goodness you talked him out of it. They say this is one area that the inexperienced should stay away from.

    So stay safe and hope it all gets put in properly.
    It is a beautiful looking stove. And when I move next time I will hopefully remember what you said about stoves in an island. They are look nice but now I think not.

    God bless.
    I’m glad I talked DS out of it, too. The installer called and said he’d be here Thursday between 9-12 – I have a dr’s appt at 10 so I’m hoping all of this happens while I’m gone and then I don’t have to stand there and watch and worry!! LOL I was flabbergasted at the prices of these range/ovens with the downdraft feature – in fact it really made me angry. You can bet your bottom dollar the next (and hopefully last) house we buy won’t have an oven in the middle of the kitchen without a hood over it!!! (but it’s such a pretty kitchen and I’m such a dork, I fell in love w/it and Devoted Spouse turned around and bought the house for me – he’s such a sweetie.)

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