Yes, it’s finally true. I went to Sears Wednesday and took advantage of a sale and bought a new Jenn-Air range/oven to replace the piece of crap GE Profile that had been in the house since it was built and which died a horrible death last January, the same day I had my accident. It was an eerie coincidence. I fell, and the oven went Tango Uniform. This is what the old piece of crap looks like: notice the ugly burners – ugh!
Here is El Piece o’ Crap’s entirely too expensive replacement. The only difference is I ordered it in black, but could only find a picture of the stainless steel. Use your imagination. Suffice to say it has a nice clear cooktop and a convection oven and it’s reeeeeel purteeee. The good part is I get 12 whole months to pay it off – and I’m going to need every one of them!
Many of the Jenn Airs you see advertised have the cute little grill on one side, but I just wanted burners – we grill outside or use our George Foreman grill inside. Still it cost a small fortune even with various sales and discounts. It about killed me to have to do this, but being without an oven for almost 6 months now is long enough. And the biggest issue is this appliance has to have its own downdraft system because it sits in the middle of the room with no overhead vent. Had I thought about this at the time I bought this house, I might not have bought this house for just that reason. Downdraft oven/ranges are not cheap. In fact this is probably the most money I’ve ever spent on an appliance in my life..oh yeah there was that weird night I couldn’t sleep and ended up with a Montel Williams emulsion blender – but that’s merely a minor aberration on my part and it didn’t cost that much (really).
We were long overdue to fix this problem so I sucked it up and turned over my Sears charge card and shivered with fear. As you can deduce by the first picture next we will have to replace the countertops on the island and throughout the kitchen. More money I don’t have going into this money pit so I can sell it one of these days, if the housing market ever improves, and move into something smaller and in a more southerly location.
I’m a tad worried about this entire transaction. First of all the man in the appliance section didn’t smell too nice. His Right Guard had given out on him; although he was a nice enough gentleman. I didn’t have the heart to tell him not to raise that arm. He was a considerably older gentleman and I felt bad because he said he had retired and then come back to work and would probably work till he died. What a sad commentary on today.
Lest I get too far off subject and all maudlin on you about various economic woes…what worried me most about this was that it was too easy. I did a little internet research, found what I wanted, took a picture of what we currently have, Devoted Spouse took all appropriate measurements, we marched into Sears and 15 minutes later I was signing the bill and had delivery and installation all set up. It was entirely too easy.
The last time something was this easy the wrong couch was delivered – but I liked the color better so I never told the store they had made a mistake. This time we have to wait for a call from the installer who is a contractor of Sears, probably named Bubba and has interchangeable magnetic signs for the side of his panel truck depending on what he’s doing on any given day. He’ll give us details of exactly when he’ll be here to deliver and install. Now, we’re getting ready to run away for a few days so I’m sure Bubba will call while we’re gone, we won’t answer or return his call, and he’ll cross us off his list only to tell us when we return that he can’t possibly install this until April of 2010 because he’s booked up. Of course by then Sears will no longer carry this model and I’ll just have to give up on having an oven at all. That would be my luck you know. You know the crap that follows me around. I’m telling you, I’m uneasy about this purchase and my blood pressure won’t settle down until that oven/range is in, installed, and working correctly. In the meantime, while I wait, I’m supposed to go to the country for a few days of relaxation. I will no doubt spend those days pacing and worrying about coming home to find a range/oven just sitting out in my driveway on some wooden pallet in the rain and some strange guy with a bad comb-over and those wide suspenders peeling out of my driveway in his panel truck with the bald tires squealing. Gah…..
Okay – back to the store — While I’m making all these arrangements, Devoted Spouse notices a sign on the oven/range that states “Take this home today.” He says, “Honey, we can just take this home with us.” I envisioned him trying to get that oven into my car, let alone trying to get the old one out of the kitchen and hook up the new one. I can hardly walk and he thinks he can simply take this oven home with us. I was successful in stifling the hysterical laughter that threatened to come out of my open mouth and simply gave him “the look.” He somewhat meekly walked back to my side while I finished the transaction. Good man. Don’t make me end up in the Heart hospital today with pains running down my arm; our vacation is paid for and it’s right around the corner.
Anyway, the nice, but fragrant, man at Sears also told me something slightly suspicious. He said if our electric is not up to code the installer may have to charge us additionally to fix the problem. Huh? Why would a house built in the early 1990s not be up to code? That really bothered me, but not as much as when the Sears man quickly amended that statement to include the fact that this rarely happens. Again, he doesn’t know my life, does he? Now I have to sleep at night wondering if my house is up to code. Ackkkk.
I’m having visions of the oven not fitting through the door, the delivery/installer ripping my floor or destroying my cabinets, or any other of a thousand things that could happen. What if it is installed and the next day Gretchen the Housecleaner Extraordinairre decides to clean the cooktop with Comet. Oh, the scenarios in my head are getting uglier by the moment. I just want this over with. Then again, maybe they’ll bring the wrong model and it will be nicer and I’ll just have to overlook that it’s the wrong one… Nah.
Oh sweet merciful heavens this means I have to cook again. I wonder if I can cancel the order…