Fur Flyin’ Friday…or Alright, You Can Stay, no Sit, no Lie Down

bad dog and bad speller

bad dog and bad speller

Okay, so the guy who wrote the sign can’t spell – I think he/she gets the message across.  Watch out — there’s a bad canine in the area.  Now I couldn’t possibly have any experience with bad dogs, could I?  I imagine my 5 hardcore readers know exactly to whom I refer – the illusive, adorable, always looking innocent Golden Destroyer, EmmaLou.

She’s been up to her old antics lately.  I have an antique decorative tin box from Germany in my living room.  I got it when we lived overseas and I have 3 of them in my home, all in different colors.  The one in the living room is done in maroon and highly decorated – it’s about 16″ by 14″ x 7″, a pretty good size cookie tin.  What’s important about it is that it holds every card and letter Devoted Spouse ever gave me.  That’s not a cookie tin; that’s a treasure box.  I would show a pic but my&^%^^%%%$# camera battery just this minute died.  Gah.  Okay – it looks something like this:

example, not my actual tin

example, not my actual tin

You can see how lovely it is.   These tins are not that easy to find – although this picture came from an eBay item I saw and it was going for only $18.99 – what a bargain.  Anyway, you get the idea.  This is something nice, it’s important, and it has value to me.

Guess who I caught gnawing on it like it was a cheap bone?  Oh yeah, EmmaLou.  It was Thursday morning, and I was wrapped up in a rousing game of online SmartAss with my Twitter buddies.  I’m trying very hard to come up with some obscure piece of information (which I did think of, by the way) when I look over and see EmmaLou in the corner of the couch where this tin is located on the floor.  I thought she had a bone with her until I got up from my comfy chair, tossed my laptop onto the table and went to inspect.  Gah…I caught her just in time, she had just started to drool on it and was rubbing her teeth on the side of the tin. Dilemma – save the tin, play SmartAss, save the tin, play SmartAss.  I picked up the tin and tossed it on the couch and ran back to my laptop in time to actually win a round.  What a save.

Is there such a thing as caninicide?  I was about to commit this pseudo-crime later in the day when I found her dragging a pillow from the couch around the room very proudly displaying her pillow pilfering prowess.  I had to chase her and I wasn’t in any shape to chase her.  Yes, I was going to kill her and I was going to do it slowly and I was going to enjoy it.

And then the oddest thing happened. I received a call from Sketches, the local frame shop, telling me my painting of EmmaLou was all framed and ready to be picked up.  If not for that call, Devoted Spouse would no doubt still be covering a rather large mound of dirt in the backyard, and I would be ordering a plaque to commemorate the site of EmmaLou’s last stand.

But instead I went and picked this up:

painting done by EmilyofTexas

painting done by EmilyofTexas

This is the painting done by my friend from Texas, Emily, and in case you can’t read it, it says “Emma Lou The Golden Destroyer loves Linda and Larry with her whole heart” and on the very bottom it says, “I Got You”.   I had it framed with blue to match the blue Emily chose and a wood frame that matches EmmaLou’s fur.  Doesn’t it look fabulous?  Devoted Spouse hung it up on the wall in our entry hallway so anyone entering our home will be sure to see this marvelous rendering of EmmaLou.

Do you believe in fate?  Because it was fate that gave EmmaLou another chance.  One fateful phone call saved her raggedy-ass from a whoopin’ the likes of which she’s never seen, and I am loath to lay a hand on my pup – but I was this close to smacking the crapola out of her by late Thurs afternoon.  Did I mention the area rug she has now ripped to shreds not on just one side but on the other side as well?  Uh-huh.  Bad to the bone is my little girl.

And then she wears out, collapses on the family room floor and looks so innocent and adorable and I melt all over again.

who can resist those eyes?

who can resist those eyes?

Yes, you ducked a bullet today my little missie – let this be a lesson to you — better be a good girl for the next few days and if you so much as look at my Nuremberg tin again…you better run like your doggie life depends on it, coz it might!


11 thoughts on “Fur Flyin’ Friday…or Alright, You Can Stay, no Sit, no Lie Down

  1. Saved by the bell. I know how you feel. Once when MHS and I were both about to lose it with D2, someone called from church. D1 walked into the room where were were screaming at the top of our lungs and says, “God’s on the phone and wants to talk to you.”
    Amazing, isn’t it? I was in so much pain from my back and leg and chasing her around was getting on my last nerve and had I caught her I truly might have hurt her, I was that angry. Whew – glad the phone rang coz I honestly wouldn’t want to do a thing to harm this precious little puppy girl of mine.

  2. I certainly would not want to be walked on a leash by a dog.
    Maybe not, but it might help to occasionally see the world from their perspective. Think it over and provide an essay please.

  3. My mutt will get into anything and everything when she’s bored. Try more exercise with Emma Lou. At least Emma Lou will bring a thrown ball or stick back. Mine doesn’t have ANY retriever in her at all! Throw a stick and she runs…right past it and keeps going:)
    I’ve tried to talk Devoted Spouse into taking her for more walks (I’ve threatened to call Cesar Milan) but he won’t do it. I try and play ball with her to make her run around the back yard, but I just haven’t felt up to it lately, so the poor pup has too much energy and no good outlet. Maybe I need to hire a dog walker. I used to send her to Doggie Day Care and that wore her out but I worry now about her being around too many other doggie germs – I’m such a protective fur-mom.

  4. Well, I will just say that Emma Lou makes me appreciate my girls. I don’t have to worry about them chewing anything in the house. Now, pooping in the house, that is another story…

    We have 26 acres here if Emma Lou ever needs sanctuary, lol.
    We seem to have solved the pooping in the house issue thankfully. But as to sanctuary, she has mentioned she would like to come visit KS sometime… 🙂

  5. It is hard to believe she is still naughty after all this time. Nessa rarely chews on anything and if she didn’t have a serious case of ball OCD she’d be perfect. Maybe they are both attention grabbing behaviors? What do we do about that? I have no clue.
    With EmmaLou it’s a combination of attention grabbing and lack of exercise – she gets all this pent up energy and no way to get rid of it coz Devoted Spouse won’t go take her for a walk in the evening when she really needs the extra exercise. I can’t walk that far yet, and I sure can’t have her pulling me and hurting my back more – so I try and sit on the deck and throw tennis balls and make her run around. My problem is she’ll retrieve but she won’t always drop them and give them back – it’s like – no, you try and get it away from me. I hate that game.

  6. Understand and sympathize completely.

    But what I am amazed to find is that no one has commented that you should never whip (spank, tan their hide, open up a can of whoop ass, your pick) your dog … ever. Shouldn’t even entertain the thought for a second. Or a threatening letter from PETA by a disgruntled reader that you would stoop to such levels of savagery.

    You have some cool and sensibly levelheaded readers … congratulations!

    Submit this story on a major social channel and find out what I mean. On second thought, don’t. Just enjoy being in the company of decent folk as long as you can.
    Fortunately my 5 hardcore readers know I would never lay a hand on the amazing EmmaLou, but I now understand how frustrating it can be to be a parent – I’ve made loud sounds in her direction to get her attention away from something destructive she was doing, and I’ve been known to raise my voice, but I would never hurt this truly amazing and loving creature, regardless of how much damage she has done to my home. My readers also know what the phrase “tongue-in-cheek” means, too. I talk a good game but I’m just a little “walk all over me like a rug” where my puppy girl is concerned. She rules this roost, no doubt about it. I thought I’d get some hate mail, too. One never knows – of course I control the comments, too. My blog, my rules ya know. PETA comes near me and I will instantly hit the delete button coz in my humble opinion they’re nutcases like GreenPeace – totally over the edge for the fame and glory of it all. Or the scum of the earth who put the spikes in the trees so the loggers get maimed. I appreciate their opinion, but detest their methods.

  7. Bring on Ceasar to the rescue! Really have you watched the Dog Whisperer? It is marvelous…and such a genius…with dogs and people.

    My son’s dog just chewed his girlfriend’s brand new camera she got from her mother for her birthday…

    dogs! Gotta love em.
    I adore my EmmaLou to the point of being nutso over her. Cesar would tell me she needs more exercise, I’d bet money on it – because she doesn’t get enough. I can’t tear Devoted Spouse away from his laptop and unfortunately I’m still in no shape to walk far enough to give her any kind of decent workout. Hopefully as I continue to heal, I’ll get to the point we can go out on walks together again some day. Til then she has to be satisfied with several rounds of fetch the tennis ball. Still, she gets into trouble in the worst way when I turn my back. I think it’s a demand for more attention because she’s spoiled rotten. Oh Cesar would have a field day with us, believe me. He would say she runs us and she’s the Alpha and he would be right. Oh well. I’ll just keep buying replacement furniture and rugs, etc.

  8. Well, we finally have had sun for a few days and the pups don’t want to go out for long because with it came the heat. Spoiled brats.

    Instead, they chase each other around the house. It’s a wonder I’ve a stick left standing.
    I actually just had EmmaLou out for a bit of ball fetching – she lasted through about 5 throws and demanded to be let inside. Lazy thing.

  9. I think the Caesar Millan route should work. You need to show her who is pack leader and that shouldn’t be her. Maybe you could hire a kid in the neighborhood to walk her every day. Would be cheaper than the Doggie Day Care and keeps you and DS from having to do it right now. She sounds bored and too much energy.

    A spray bottle is our friend around here for both the cat and the dog. Stops them from doing what they shouldn’t be doing really fast. They really hate that spray.

    On the sign – I think he meant “Be Aware of the Bad Dogs” instead of “Beware”. Probably one of those thinking of the sentence/word 2 ways at the same time and combining them. I find myself doing that all the time in my advancing age.

    You ready for that beach trip yet? I am, 99 degrees today but by Sunday it is supposed to only be 90. Wow, cold front!
    Tried spray bottle – new game, no help. I just give up and give in. Yes, to the beach trip – when do we leave????

  10. Poor little EmmaLou never gets to chew on anything good. Oh wait, yes she does. EmmaLou, you’d better sing Emily’s praises. I think she’s your guardian angel!
    She knows I only get mad for a little while and I’d never hurt her for the world! She understands the word, exasperated very well, little devil.
    It seems that EmmaLou is always in the proverbial doghouse, but she never stays there too long, coz she’s so cute I have to hug her!

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