Put the Brats Back in the Fridge, We’re Goin’ Out for Pizza


Friday afternoon I received an email from the wife of a guy Devoted Spouse and I both used to work with.  In fact the four of us have been friends for a long time now and occasionally go out to eat.  It’s been awhile since we last saw them; in fact, it’s been before my accident.  She emailed me a few weeks ago and suggested dinner together and I explained I was still recuperating from the back surgery (which I had forgotten to tell them about) and could we wait a little while.  So today I get this email that says “I know it’s late notice, but we’re thinking pizza tonight, do you  want to join us”? (paraphrased).  I thought it was a great idea — I felt good enough today to go out to a garage sale, I had my new painting of EmmaLou, the Golden Destroyer, and now our friends wanted us to go downtown for pizza.

Life just doesn’t get any better, ya know?

So we meet them at their house and they drive downtown to this pizza place we don’t know about – a family run restaurant in a “cool” section of town where the “cool” people hang out – not that our friends are pretentious in any way, don’t misunderstand me — but this is kind of a yuppie area of downtown.  Turns out this place makes fabulous pizza.  I mean it’s about some of the best pizza I have ever tried except the jalapenos about killed me, but that’s my own fault.

We sat at the booth, eating pizza, drinking beer, catching up on some hilarious stories from both families when in walks the last person I expected to see, not only that night, but ever.  Who, you ask?  One of our local weathermen.  Yes, a local “celebrity” who forecasts (incorrectly more often than not) the local weather.  Now I’m not mentioning names of people or television stations or giving out any identifying information because I don’t want to be handed a lawsuit of any type. Too many people in this town happen to occasionally read this blog and I’m not stupid enough to name names.   But my reaction truly surprised our friends.  I said something to the effect of , “Oh dear Gussie is that Elmer T. Shagnasty, the local Channel XYZ weatherman?” (and subliminally under my breath I added the word, D*ckwad).  They about fell out of the booth laughing at me and yes, it was indeed, Elmer T. Shagnasty (D*ckwad) of our local news complete in his little white shirt and designer suit pants and he planted himself at the bar and began to be the center of attention (now I’m thinking Arrogant D*ckwad).  You see, for some bizarre reason we always watch the channel he is on when we watch the local news and every time he shows his face I unconsciously utter the word D*ckwad under my breath.  It’s gotten to be a joke at our house because I simply can’t help myself anymore.  He’s arrogant, he has the most advanced weather forecasting technology available, he’s a bonafide meteorologist, and he rarely gets it right.  D*ckwad.

Yes, indeedy, we'll have sunshine today!

Yes, indeedy, we'll have sunshine today!

Plain and simple.  The solution to this is to change the channel.  But for some bizarre reason I am now drawn to this person simply so I can get the pleasure out of saying to his face on the tv….D*ckwad.  I know I’m going to hell for this, but I cannot stop myself.  It is almost a sickness.  I promise I won’t stalk him – please don’t worry this will get out of control – I only like to call him names while he is on the television for some perverse pleasure of mine that I (nor Devoted Spouse) will never understand.

Anyway we all had a good laugh at my nonsense, got ready to leave and made comments about asking for autographs or should I have my picture taken with him (I just happened to have my camera in my purse) or should I simply carry our cardboard box with the rest of our pizza by him and trip and drop the pizza on his bright white shirt on my way out?  We opted to guide me far away from him and take me to Graeter’s for ice cream instead.

At least the episode at the pizza place gave  us all a hearty laugh – and I know laughter (unfortunately at someone else’s expense this time) is good for you.  I try not to make fun of others.  I’m ashamed of this childish behavior of mine, but I don’t like this person and I’m never gonna change my mind and I simply am unable to stop calling him this bad name.  I’m not always nice; but I’m always honest.

The evening ended up at Graeter’s which is a local ice cream shop that has awesome ice cream as evidenced by the below picture – as  you can see Devoted Spouse (on the left in the Virginia Tech tee shirt) had plenty of room left after his pizza for a huge concoction while our friends and I opted (note empty space at table (mine) for a single scoop in a cup.  Hey, someone had to take the picture, and you’ve seen enough pictures of me lately to last ya’ll a lifetime!

pizza needs to be topped off by ice cream!

pizza needs to be topped off by ice cream!

It’s funny how some people simply rub you the wrong way – I’m sure Mr. Weatherman is a very nice man with a nice family, but every time I see his face something inside of me just goes haywire and I want to slap him.  I know – there’s something very wrong with me – don’t send me hate mail – I’ m not proud of this.  I imagine there’s a 12-step program out there somewhere that deals with how to atone for the fact you think your weatherman is an arrogant d*ckwad (oops, I did it again.)


14 thoughts on “Put the Brats Back in the Fridge, We’re Goin’ Out for Pizza

  1. Every Friday should be Pizza night!

    Yes, but then I would probably weigh 5,000 pounds in a year. Carbs, carbs, carbs baby. You’re young and can handle it…I’m an old broad who only has to look at pizza to gain a pound! LOL Thanks for visiting.

  2. Nothing better than pizza and ice cream!
    I know and it makes me crazy I can’t indulge more often – but every once in awhile ya just gotta go for it! Hope you’re feeling better sweetie – take care!

  3. MMMM. That pizza looks amazing. That is really funny about the weather man. You should rent the movie Weather Man with Nicholas Cage, it is really funny. Thanks for the great posts.
    Hi Eric – thanks for the movie recommendation – I’ll try it – I love Nicholas Cage whether the movie itself tanks or not – I appreciate your visiting me!

  4. I guess everyone has someone who sends them over the edge. I have a certain relative who whenever I hear her name a bad word just leaps forth from my mouth. I can’t help it, she absolutely brings out the worst in me.
    It’s just the strangest thing – and there are several people in my life that I’d rather not be around, but I don’t come out with bad words immediately upon seeing them – this guy just irritates the daylights out of me and it’s so stupid – change the blasted channel. Can’t. I get this perverse pleasure out of seeing him and calling him names. I need treatment. LOL Or a life…

  5. Lord in heaven….girl you have a gift for making the story come alive!

    You are so going to hell for your name calling but all us devoted readers will be going with you laughing our arses off as we go!
    Well at least we’ll have good company!

  6. Sounds like the weather man back home in Seattle. My mom and I just crack up laughing as he says, “Well, you can expect some showers today…with a chance of sun and a chance of rain.” Wow, that’s rocket science! I’m sure there is a good chance one of those will come true!!! You’re story made me laugh!
    Hi sweetie – it’s good to hear from you! You would think with the millions of dollars of sophisticated equipment and the highly educated men and women in the industry, they’d hit the mark more often – it just cracks me up as they’re talking about a nice day and I’m looking out the window at raindrops! Hugs!

  7. Weatherperson is the only where you get paid to be wrong. All.The.Damn.Time!

    Pizza, ice cream and beer. Life is good.
    I dunno, sometimes President is right up there, too LOL – yeah, I’m feeling so much better – I’m a blessed girl. But if I don’t lay off the pizza, ice cream and beer I’ll blow up like a balloon and you’ll see me at the Macy’s Day parade up in the sky!

  8. Every Friday nite IS pizza night here in South Haven. 😉 It’s hubby’s tradition — pizza and beer after a long week at work! So we had our pizza last night. And huby lives for ice cream too.

    And ya know, there are some people that are just oh so deserving of being called a d*ckwad. It is what it is. Great post!
    I like tradition – like every Wed is date night – or bowling night or whatever – it makes for a good routine – being retired, we just whatever the heck we want usually whenever we want – it’s a good thing! Nice to see ya. Hugs!

  9. There will always be someone that pushes all our buttons and sends us over the edge of reason, good taste and sanity. He just happens to be yours. For many of us out there its Sarah Palin :0)

    We don’t pick these people and say “hey, I’m gonna hate you just for the heck of it” there is usually something deep inside that just – almost on a cellular level – can’t stomach this person and you just can’t help yourself. You are not alone in this.
    I knew I could count on you to be the voice of reason – unfortunately, I like Sarah Palin. LOL

  10. It is funny how some people just rub you the wrong way. Great post….glad you’re feeling well enough to get out with people, even among people you don’t like!
    It’s amazing what a night out on the town will do to lift your spirits – that was my first evening excursion with friends since January and we just had a blast – in fact we had so much fun we went to their house the following night, cooked out, and watched a movie. Life is slowly coming back to normal. More good days now than bad and I’m very thankful the worst is behind me.

  11. Too funny! We love our local chief meteorologist and in fact he is a good friend of ours. I’ve written about his wife before but never mention him as he is well known in our neck of the woods. I almost posted a pic once because there was a great story involved but in the end it was on the cutting room floor. Even our friend doesn’t get it right all the time. I’ve been known to call and curse him when we are at Disney and I’ve put in a prior request for good weather and it’s raining. I always give plenty of notice, I don’t know what his problem is.
    We used to have a guy here named Steve and I absolutely loved him – everybody at work thought he was a goofball and I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning to see him – plus he was good at what he did – and then one day with no prior announcement he was gone – off to Pennsylvania to be with his family and I never found out if he remained in the meteorology field or on tv or what happened him. I still miss his friendly face. Different strokes for different folks.

  12. Oh now I have a huge craving for pizza. I never liked Jalapenos on a pizza. I’ve also tried sardine pizza. Both either upset my stomach or made my mouth feel as if I’d stuck a hot poker in it. Pizza and beer go together like ice and water. You can’t have one without the other!
    It was soooooooo good!

  13. Ah I see you live in Wells BC Canada! The little purple house is my favourite! You colour selector you!

    Anyway good to hear from you and I just don’t know what happened a lot of your posts got by me!
    I thought that might get your attention. I’m so brazen. LOL Many years ago I visited Nova Scotia and saw all these wonderfully colored litle houses and I was amazed that anyone would paint their house any other color than white, beige, blue and yet here were these vibrant colors and I loved it. I’ve always wanted to have the guts to do something quite bizarre with color but here we have those stupid neighborhood rules – only certain colors allowed so everyone looks equally boring. So I painted my front door hot pink and the heck with them all. LOL My own little protest. I absolutely love the purple house and I would love to see inside it – if it’s so colorful outside – what type of artist/free soul must reside there? *sigh* BTW you and your grey hair are simply lovely. Hugs!

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