Expedition Africa…Heck I Couldn’t Do Expedition Dayton

expedition-backpack

African Expedition is a show in which Devoted Spouse and I are currently engrossed showing on the History Channel on Sunday nights.  It’s the story of a group of explorers who want to recreate the journey of the great explorer Dr. David Livingstone and the journalist Henry Morton Stanley who was sent to find him, and it’s produced by none other than Mark Burnett.  The explorers are supposed to make the trek from Zanzibar to Ujiji which is something like 970 miles.  It took Livingstone about 9 months and the expedition group plans to do it in 30 days.  Sounds like Survivor Ujiji to me.  (I wonder what color the tribe buffs will be.)  Of course we all know Mark Burnett as the producer of Survivor fame.  It’s supposed to be a real expedition, in other words, non-fiction, but I don’t necessarily trust Mark Burnett.  The expedition leader or navigator is named Pasquale – I’d feel  more secure with someone named Butch or Tank or even Duke — Pasquale just doesn’t invoke expedition strength in my book.  He seems to be doing a fairly good job of leading so far, with just a few issues among the others in the group.

We’ve watched two episodes now and just watching what these people are going through exhausts me and drives me to the sink for a glass of cold water (okay it drives me to the refrigerator for a cold Rolling Rock, gimme a break,  plus a large handful of Cheetos and some cookies).  Watching people trek through the jungle is hungry work.

Along with the actual explorers are porters who carry all the gear and 2 absolutely hunky manly-men Massai Warriors who are apparently along to keep the expedition safe from predatory animals.  I think they’re along just for the colorfulness of their outfits and the exotic look of them — I mean, c’mon these two huge very handsome young warriors are totally outfitted in their tribal warfare gear complete with spears.  They have plaited hair hanging down their backs and they wear these beautifully colorful robes.  Two things bother me about this picture…1) they wear some type of white beaded leggings and never seem to get dirty and it’s a filthy expedition through swamps, mud, dirt, all kinds of nasty terrain, and yet here are these two warriors immaculately robed;  not only are they walking this 900 mile trek but they’re wearing sandals of all things, and 2) where are the predators – I don’t see any spear throwing and frankly, if I was on an expedition I’d want something a little more powerful for protection than a Massai Warrior with one spear.  What if he’s having an off day and that’s the day the lions show up?  Not good.  I understand from previews that in Episode 3 next week the lions do, in fact, make an appearance.  Burnett probably had them neutered.

I’d love to visit Africa on safari (just to look, never to kill).  Don’t think I could make the trip – I have that silly little phobia of flying in a plane you know and it’s rather difficult to get to Africa without at least flying part way.  Maybe some day.

I’d be danged if I’d take off on this 900 mile trek to recreate Stanley and Livingstone’s journeys, though.  I can’t walk 2 miles on flat terrain around my own neighborhood with no more threat than a local neighbor’s dog, let alone try a 900 mile trek up and down mountains and across rivers with hungry crocodiles.  Oh yeah, they did this during crocodile mating season.  That was a smart decision – let’s hit the water in leaky old tribal canoes when the crocs are at their horniest and see if we make it to the other side.  Brilliant.  Makes for great tv watching.

I think I’ll stick to my own expeditions…Target, Macy’s, Sephora, the grocery store; it’s a jungle out there.

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6 thoughts on “Expedition Africa…Heck I Couldn’t Do Expedition Dayton

  1. –” let’s hit the water in leaky old tribal canoes when the crocs are at their horniest and see if we make it to the other side.”

    I got my biggest laugh of the day with that statement. Thank you, my dear…..and have another Rolling Rock on me. 🙂
    Well you must admit it wasn’t the smartest idea in the world. But that’s Mark Burnett. Go for the ratings – I wonder how much is “staged” as in Survivor, because it really is a good show and I’m hoping it’s fairly realistic and they truly are experiencing what we see. I’d love to go there.

  2. how do you feel about cruises?
    Actually we’ve been considering just that idea. For some reason I don’t feel as afraid on a ship as I do on a plane – I think it has something to do with the claustrophobia I get on a plane — too closed in. Cruise ships these days are huge – plus you can always take a freighter – I understand that’s a very interesting way to travel (and cheaper without many of the cruise ship amenities).

  3. We just watched a similar show with the people surviving in the wilds of Alaska. They got no money for doing it, no prize money or anything. The hardships they went through just to have the experience of a lifetime. This was a group of most profession people in their late 20’s – 40. I thought they were nuts but every time we see stuff like this my Hubby says he always wishes he did something like that. No thanks. A leaky tent on a camping trip is as adventurous as I care to have been. I am not a country girl even though we now live in the country. I grew up in L.A. and am more comfortable on a blanket at the beach with a beer in my hand, a book to read and an umbrella when I’ve had enough sunshine. :0)
    I’m with you baby, my adventure days are over. For years my dad tried to talk me into moving to Alaska because the ratio of men to women was so high and I could work the pipeline (oh sure, Dad) – I often wondered what would have happened if I had done that? I’d probably be dead. LOL

  4. Hey it worked! I got a hold of WordPress.com and asked what was up with my comments listed as spam. They wanted me to do a bunch of stuff but I said that I didn’t have that problem before why now? They obviously fixed it thank you WP!
    Yes, they have fixed it – WordPress Support is very responsive and I have always been very satisfied with their reaction time and their solutions to any problems I’ve had. Now, I’m almost sorry I moved my other blog because it’s turning out to be a royal pain in my a$$ to update and use. Of course WordPress won’t let me come back so I may drop it altogether and start it back up on Blogspot or somewhere else. Me and my bright ideas. I ended up paying my IT guy a fortune for all his work and I still can’t get in to actually change the site. Duh. WordPress was easier. I never learn. BTW tomorrow will be a cute day for both Crone and Bear It and Crap on a Crutch – all centers around an adventure I had today…

  5. I get the History channel here, I will have to look out for that program. I love adventures but only if I am within sight of the car or tour bus. My sister has been on safari to Africa but I like you share the same fear of flying.

    P.S. I loved your post about doggies pooping in the house, can Womble join EmmaLou’s self help group. He has the same problem.
    Womble would be more than welcomed at any time! LOL EmmaLou has been a very good girl lately and it’s all because we’re paying closer attention to her routine. Animal problems are usually caused by humans I’ve found.

  6. okay, we’re just gonna have to splurge and expand our cable package. I really miss the History channel. That sounds like an interesting show but as soon as I realized it was a Burnett production, you lost me a little. And you hit it on the head when you commented on the white leggings staying white…..they so manipulate the audience. I’m not a big reality show watcher but we have watched several seasons of Survivor just for ha-ha’s but I always notice things like white staying white, hair being so nicely styled, etc. Hey, I know what I look like after a day without a shower, etc., you want me to believe they look that good after 39 days….c’mon! Great post…..and I have been on safari to Africa….the flights nearly killed me.
    We really like History International channel – cool stuff but the Africa Expedition is on the standard History channel which I thought was part of basic cable but guess I’m wrong. (as usual). Burnett is the producer of Survivor, that’s why I’m just a tad skeptical of this production but he claims it’s real, not contrived in any way. I envy you being to Africa – one of my life goals – but the flights would kill me too – first the claustrophobia and also my back. I need someone to hurry up and invent teleportation. LOL

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