Once again my Gmail account is being inundated with spam. I hate spam. But this spam is almost funny – and I find myself actually reading some of it before deleting. I have no clue how they found me and the unfortunate part of this is I will eventually have to change my Gmail account and that just causes all types of inconvenience for me since I can’t remember who I’ve given it to lately. Grrr.
Here’s some rather odd spam coming in today: Amanda says my check is still waiting – hmmm, wonder what I have to do to collect? The Federal Grant Connection tells me there are still federal grants available and I should get cracking in order to collect mine. If only if was that easy…oh wait a minute…it IS that easy…it’s called WELFARE. Duh.
There’s a divorce lawyer who wants to give me a private consultation — I don’t think Devoted Spouse would appreciate that. No thanks. I know when I have it good – this girl ain’t goin’ nowhere!
Lanty P. tells me I can make money from home for doing entirely “nothing”. Well, shoot, I do that now. It’s called retirement. Double Duh.
Here’s one on Military Benefits Update – hmmm, I was never in the military. The only benefit I get is the fact Devoted Spouse collects a military pension and is kind enough to share it with me. And should he one day go to meet Jesus, I will still be taken care of but I don’t like to think of that as a benefit. I could never benefit without my Devoted Spouse.
Michael M. is still pestering me for my shipping address because as he puts it: “An incredible oversight has created a ‘glitch’ in the rapidly growing wireless industry, opening an amazing opportunity for you to make a fortune online working from home.” Gee let me get that address right to ya Mikey. Can’t wait for this opportunity.
Alot of spammers are looking for work-at-home-people and are interested in typists…Typists??? – I thought the word “typist” went out with the 20th century. How bizarre. Well, then again, I CAN type. Heaven knows what they want typed – I think I’ll pass on that offer.
Lots of nice folks want to share a picture with me. Isn’t that just the sweetest thing you ever heard? Delete, delete, delete. I’m getting thousands of offers for Match.com even though I’ve never visited their site and have no interest in being matched with anyone other than my own match which was definitely made in heaven.
I guess I shouldn’t complain — today I only have to delete 249 spam messages — the other week I had over 3,000 at one time and I thought the system might blow up. These people should be taken out behind the shed and beaten severely for causing me this much inconvenience. Or they should have to live a life of eating Spam at every meal. That might do it.
I hate Spam!