Ya’ll remember the other day I posted about how cute this little puppy was when I brought her home and how I just fell in love with her and yet she has given me over 5 years of pure heck with her antics?
Apparently, I am to get no peace in this house from this dog from Hades. No peace whatsoever.
Wednesday Devoted Spouse (even though his back was bothering him) put a lawn chair by the dressed up garden and sat my precious butt in it to supervise his planting of the Swiss Chard. My job was to water and put on that nasty Liquid Fence stuff (plus I put a tomato cage around it just in case). He spent a lot of his time fixing the stonework – and those stones are very heavy. Bless his heart. Then he took his precious self over to another section of the yard where my lavender plants (every last one of them) had died a horrible death and he planted two perennials. Again, I watered and put the smelly stuff on. We repeated this one more time in another part of the yard with more perennials. The point is this is hard work and Devoted Spouse was tired. I was tired, too, but just because my back was bothering me. Here is a shot of the cleaned up and planted (okay only 2 tomato plants and a Swiss Chard so far) garden and a shot of my irises (and Devoted Spouse’s cute little civil war soldier) which is right next to the perennials – but there were too many weeds I don’t want you to see at the perennials so you’ll just have to take my word for it; they are there.
So, what is the point to this story? The Golden Destroyer had her precious special vet-buy-only dinner at 5pm. At 5:01 she went outside for her constitutional and what do you think she did? She made a beeline for the perennials and started to chomp and roll.
Devoted Spouse saved everything and got her out of there and I used my best mommy voice to get her golden butt back inside. Then it was the toothpaste and dishrag/soap routine again.
I can’t take it anymore. I am the only person in the world who has the most challenged dog who would actually like this stuff, but she won’t eat a piece of an onion and she won’t get close to the mist that comes off an orange when you peel it. Maybe I need to put onions around the plants – but then the rabbits would eat the onions.
As if that isn’t bad enough, not an hour later I’m in the living room working on school and Devoted Spouse and stinky dog are in the family room watching tv and I hear this yell, “Honey come help, Emma just threw up.” On top of everything else she did that day, she went and yakked up the total contents of her stomach and it just missed my new couch by a hair, or I would be printing her obituary instead of this posting. Sweet merciful heavens give me patience and I want it right now!
I think my brain may be leaking out of my ears at the moment so I am going to calm down and go take a much needed nap and a little doggie distance. Gah…. I need to move to the country and buy about a 5 acre piece of land where we can build a little house for us and the dog has room to run and cavort and stink up herself so bad she doesn’t have time to mess with my lil ole pitiful garden and then have the audacity to yak all over my white berber carpet. Sigh…