A womens’ health expert on Yahoo (like I trust Yahoo for my health information) comments that there are at least 9 more reasons we women should be drinking even more coffee. Now, I don’t have a problem with this because I adore coffee, cold or hot. But I thought her reasoning was just a tad bit off.
1. It helps you shed pounds. Supposedely coffee is metabolism-firing. If that were really true today I would weight about 73 pounds. I think she’s stretching the truth just a bit here.
2. It powers your workouts. Downing coffee and toast between back-to-back workouts keeps you humming. It is supposed to replace glycogen which keeps your bodyable to go faster and farther. Nah – the problem with this is the butter and jelly that go on top of the toast. I don’t believe this one either. And there’s nothing worse than getting on the treadmill and finding someone else’s buttery greasy leftover fingerprints – blechh.
3. It helps you wake up refreshed. Well, if Devoted Spouse would start an IV drip before I woke up this might be true. Then again this lady maintains you should dring a cup of coffee immediately before taking a 15-30 minute catnap because it takes a half hour for the caffeine to kick in so it will wake you after a short nap. Ok – this is so stupid sounding, I’m going to try it tomorrow and see what happens. The problem with my naps is they never last 30 minutes – I drop off and wake up 2 hours later wondering what the heck hit me.
4. It can ward off illness. A Medical Institute in Sweden claims coffee intake may prevent liver cancer. I think that might be valid provided you don’t constantly lace your coffee with Bailey’s Irish Creme or brandy.
5. It can ease muscle cramps. I have one now in my back – think I’ll go make a pot of French roast just for kicks. I have a sneaking suspicion the valium will work better.
6. It makes cardio feel like a cinch. Who the heck is this woman? She maintains women who drank two cups of coffee before cycling reported 40% less pain than those who drank decaf. I bet 20% reported they had to pee real bad after the first mile or so, too. So coffee blocks neurotransmitters that signal discomfort during exercise. In that case I am definitely setting up a portable IV at the treadmill.
7. It helps you get what you want. I want to win the lottery – wait a minute, let me take a slug of my coffee. Caffeine makes people more open to persuasion this lady states. So, maybe I should toss a pot of coffee over the fence as I tell the neighbors with the pool to knock off the noise. They may be more receptive to the idea?
8. It may fight breast cancer. I hate to joke about this one. This study says the polyphenols in regular coffee protect against cancer. I think for now I’ll just soak my boobs in what’s left in my cup. Can’t hurt.
9. It improves recall.Supposedly perks up short term memory. Liar. I drink coffee all day and I can’t even remember what I was originally going to write about in this blog posting.
I have to stop reading these articles. They give me a false sense of hope. And make me thirsty.