9 Reasons to Drink More Coffee (Like We Need More Reasons?)

coffee

A womens’ health expert on Yahoo (like I trust Yahoo for my health information) comments that there are at least 9 more reasons we women should be drinking even more coffee.  Now, I don’t have a problem with this because I adore coffee, cold or hot.  But I thought her reasoning was just a tad bit off.

1.  It helps you shed pounds. Supposedely coffee is metabolism-firing.  If that were really true today I would weight about 73 pounds.  I think she’s stretching the truth just a bit here.

2.  It powers your workouts. Downing coffee and toast between back-to-back workouts keeps you  humming.  It is supposed to replace glycogen which keeps your bodyable to go faster and farther.  Nah – the problem with this is the butter and jelly that go on top of the toast.  I don’t believe this one either.  And there’s nothing worse than getting on the treadmill and finding someone else’s buttery greasy leftover fingerprints – blechh.

3.  It helps you wake up refreshed. Well, if Devoted Spouse would start an IV drip before I woke up this might be true.  Then again this lady maintains you should dring a cup of coffee immediately before taking a 15-30 minute catnap because it takes a half hour for the caffeine to kick in so it will wake you after a short nap.  Ok – this is so stupid sounding, I’m going to try it tomorrow and see what happens.  The problem with my naps is they never last 30 minutes – I drop off and wake up 2 hours later wondering what the heck hit me.

4.  It can ward off illness. A Medical Institute in Sweden claims coffee intake may prevent liver cancer.  I think that might be valid provided you don’t constantly lace your coffee with Bailey’s Irish Creme or brandy.

5.  It can ease muscle cramps. I have one now in my back – think I’ll go make a pot of French roast just for kicks.  I have a sneaking suspicion the valium will work better.

6.  It makes cardio feel like a cinch. Who the heck is this woman?  She maintains women who drank two cups of coffee before cycling reported 40% less pain than those who drank decaf.  I bet 20% reported they had to pee real bad after the first mile or so, too.    So coffee blocks neurotransmitters that signal discomfort during exercise.  In that case I am definitely setting up a portable IV at the treadmill.

7.  It helps you get what you want. I want to win the lottery – wait a minute, let me take a slug of my coffee.  Caffeine makes people more open to persuasion this lady states.  So, maybe I should toss a pot of coffee over the fence as I tell the neighbors with the pool to knock off the noise.  They may be more receptive to the idea?

8.  It may fight breast cancer. I hate to joke about this one.  This study says the polyphenols in regular coffee protect against cancer.  I think for now I’ll just soak my boobs in what’s left in my cup.  Can’t hurt.

9.  It improves recall.Supposedly perks up short term memory.  Liar.  I drink coffee all day and I can’t even remember what I was originally going to write about in this blog posting.

I have to stop reading these articles.  They give me a false sense of hope.  And make me thirsty.

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9 thoughts on “9 Reasons to Drink More Coffee (Like We Need More Reasons?)

  1. Glad I wasn’t drinking my coffee when I read this or I’d be cleaning off my monitor! Funny how I agreed with or resembled those remarks.
    😉
    I’m glad you didn’t have to clean off your monitor either. I’d hate to be responsible for making you mess that up.

  2. I’m with morethananelectrician – I only need one reason: I am an ugly, cruel animal that will hurt you if I don’t have my coffee every morning.

    Good enough reason for me!

    Oh, btw, there is some research that supports the theory that coffee can inhibit weight loss because caffeine often raises insulin levels. Just sayin’.
    Well, I know I’ll never give it up that’s for sure – it’s my one last vice per se.

  3. Or could it be that without my first cup of coffee of the day I am just plain crabby. Actually I don’t think I even taste the first coffee, it takes two to get me going. Three if it is raining.
    I start with 2 cups and usually have one more and then I’m human. Barely…

  4. Thanks for making me spit my beverage that may or may not contain alcohol…..all over my monitor.

    Those last 3 really got me good. LOL

    p.s. Will coffee take away the mental image I now carry of you soaking your boob in a cup of coffee??
    I actually think it might work – you know how women stain linen with tea to give it that antique look? I’ll just bet we could soak in a tub full of really strong French Roast every morning and who needs a tanning bed? Let’s think about this. Helps the boobs and may impart a glowing tan. I’m kinda liking this idea.

  5. Cronie,
    No, please don’t try #3. Coffee before napping makes no damn sense.

    This health expert is probably the same idiot who insists that orgasms alleviate menstrual cramps. I mean come on (no pun intended)! Who wants sex when you have cramps???!!!
    I did try it and it doesn’t work – heck I slept for 3 hours before I woke up. Stupid article with stupid health expert. And they wonder why we’re so unhealthy in this country – we keep listening to these yahoos. As for your other comment I think I’ll just leave that one alone. See ya soon! Love ya, mean it!

  6. LMAO @ you soaking your boobs in your coffee cup just in case. *wink*

    Me thinks this woman might own a coffee bean plantation, farm, grove….whatever.
    So what could it hurt? And afterwards you just pop the leftover coffee in the microwave and heat it up and there you go! Done. Safe inside and out.

  7. “It helps you wake up refreshed”. Oh really, isn’t it nice those childless authors have time to share their tidbits of information. The first groggy thought in the am is make coffee not make bottle regardless of how loud Jr is announcing his desire for breakfast.
    Oh I so feel for you – I have no children and can’t imagine having to take care of someone else’s needs prior to my own. God bless your heart. Nothing comes between my coffee and me. I’m sure someday Jr will hear a story about this and hopefully by then he will also be hooked on coffee and fully understand! Thanks for visiting!

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