Sex and Anatomy – Got Your Attention Yet?

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Midlife Slices did a hysterical post on Mattress Tango the other day and it got me to thinking about relationships and just how different the attitudes and priorities of men and women are.

Now Devoted Spouse and I have been together almost 26 years and while we aren’t boring, we’re not the type of hurry up, run in, shut the door behind, you and rip off your clothes type of people any more.  We haven’t quite reached this stage, but I thought it was funny so I’m adding it in:

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Now if this is TMI you might as well stop reading because there’s a chance this posting could get even more personal.

I left a comment on Midlife Slices’ blog about how men think with their penises (are we sure the plural isn’t peni?) and we all know it’s true and always has been and always will be.  I’m positive  that particular part of their anatomy is responsible for the discovery of radar, sonar, and any other tracking device some male scientist discovered since the penis is the original tracking device.

Now having said that I must also comment on my dear Devoted Spouse’s somewhat warped sense of humor because again it centers around anything to do with going to the bathroom, having testicles, or a penis.  Unbelievable what this man finds is funny.  I’m glad he’s laughing but there are other humorous aspects of life it seems to me.  I find a comedy bit done by Lewis Black to be hysterical – I find a comedy bit done by ventriloquist Jeff Dunham hilarious and I could listen to the humor of Emo Philips for days on end and never stop laughing.  Now Devoted Spouse thinks these people are funny, too, but if they threw in the occasional joke about a penis he would be on the floor in hysterics.  I simply don’t get it.  Would someone explain this to me please?

Yesterday we were in the medical facility where I was about to get an MRI on my back.  I was filling out forms and one of the questions was “Do you have a penile implant?”  Devoted Spouse cracked up and said “check yes and see what they say”.  What is wrong with this man?

You know how you go to the doctor and the nurse always asks you “Why are we seeing you today?”  During one of my last visits, Devoted Spouse actually said to me, “Tell her you are there because one of your testicles has dropped.”  Again, what is wrong with this man?

Or is it me?  Am I not laughing in the right places?

Not to change the subject much, (this is still somewhat about sex) but the other day there was an article in the paper that stated Ohio (where I live) had surpassed Chlamydia cases of those anywhere else in the U.S.  I had just awoken and hadn’t had my first cup of coffee yet and so I reacted with…” Well isn’t that nice, at least Ohio is first at something.”  Then it dawned on me that Chlamydia is a venereal disease and my pride in my state was just shot to hell.

I guess it’s just me.  At least I’m thankful I have a Devoted Spouse with a sense of humor, scatological, anatomical,  or otherwise.  It could be worse he could be regaling me with knock knock jokes.

I don’t tell anatomy jokes – I don’t really know any – but if I had to come up with something funny that involved a penis these would certainly qualify:  Devoted Spouse – these are just for you sweetie!

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10 thoughts on “Sex and Anatomy – Got Your Attention Yet?

  1. A word from my penis…..I have (male) friends who laugh at toilet or body part jokes so I send them that type of humour and they probably think I share the humour with them. I don’t – but I like to give them a laugh. So we may all think with our peniums but every penis has a different sense of humour
    Good Lawd I still can’t believe I actually posted this…LOL

  2. I don’t think Devoted Spouse is necessarily out of the norm for men – Beloved, too, thinks far more with his “little” head than his “big” one and thinks penis jokes are the height of humor. And I know what you mean – okay, yes, it’s worth a chuckle, I suppose…if you like being beaten over the head. Because NONE of it is subtle. NONE of it.

    Oh, well, I suppose it could be worse. In fact, I know it could be worse. I was once married to “Worse”.
    You are right – if this is all I have to complain about, I’m pretty darned lucky! I was once married to “Even Worse” LOL

  3. This is good! And so like my husband, except he likes to say, “boobies” a lot.
    I think it must be like having more kids…

  4. Hate to mention it, but I laughed out loud at the dropped testicle one. I think Devoted Spouse is a hoot – even if his mind does run on one track (a dirt one.)
    He can also be terribly witty without being dirty – it’s a very dry sense of humor that sneaks up on you and then you can’t help but laugh – usually happens in church.

  5. Apparently you’re right about where radar came from and apparently that’s why they don’t have to ask for directions but also….apparently, most of them have directile dysfunction which makes me laugh out loud and I can’t wait to use this on HBL the next time we’re roaming around in circles because he won’t ask for directions.

    Uhhmm….that has to be the longest sentence in the world.

    P.S. This HAS to be penis week and I believe we have Fragrant Liar to thank for starting this whole chain of penile events. LOL
    I surprised myself by writing that posting – it just came out and I thought I’d die laughing remembering some of his antics. I’ll have to go back and read Fragrant Liar. What a week it’s been so far! LOL

  6. Hi Cronie,
    Peni?
    WTF LOL
    Everytime I hear on TV (re: viagra) “Call your doctor if you are experiencing an erection for 4 or more hours”. I always add, “And the poor woman needs to call the cops, for assault and battery”.
    Great post, Cronie!
    They took a great song Viva Las Vegas and absolutely ruined it forever the little sh*ts. The bit about 4 hours just cracks us up. Yeah, that’s a serious side effect all right – I’d be getting out the baseball bat about then…

  7. Okay, you picked a loaded topic today. Do you know why men name their penises? Than all their decisions are not made by strangers. yeah bad I know.

    My sister was the clinical trial manager for Cialis. Funniest stories I have ever heard about French men. That 4 hour thing. It is bad!!! If it happens and the man doesn’t go into the doctor it will be the last erection he’ll EVER have.
    Devoted Spouse laughed loudly at your penis joke – he liked it, thank you. That 4-hour one may be his last but you can bet he’ll never forget it! LOL

  8. He’s normal. I joke about my third testicle (which isn’t there) all of the time.

    “Despite it being the size of a grapefruit…it doesn’t really hurt.”
    Does it tell you when it’s going to rain like an arthritic joint would? ROFLMAO

  9. Yup, this is the week for penis postings. Fragrant Liar…me…More Than An Electrician…you…. Must be penis week. LOL

    And what is that white goopy stuff on that guy’s arm and the girl’s shoulder in the pic?

    Oh.

    Maybe we don’t want to know? Just …ewwwwwwww.
    Let’s not go there…look again they are laying on the beach so it must be sand. It simply has to be. Otherwise I’m going to gag…LOL

  10. Damn! I missed penis week? I’ll have to put it on my calendar for next year. That’s what I get for getting around to reading late.

    I’m sort of with Tessa and would have loved to seen the look on the doctor’s face if you had checked that you had a penile implant. LOL
    Did ya miss it coz it was a SHORT week? heheheheee a little penile joke there. I figured those doctors were running some amazingly complex machinery and this was not the time to be a “smarta$$”. That’ Devoted Spouse for you, always the kidder. Wait till he has to take care of me again next week after surgery – I’ll show him for making jokes…

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