How Can It Possibly Be That Time of Year Already?


I can’t believe it.  I still have the furnace on, I’m wearing sweats and a hoodie, and the lady next door has on her swimsuit and is cleaning out her enormous swimming pool.  Either that or she’s trolling for dead bodies, I don’t know; she’s uphill from me and it’s difficult to see what that strange pool net actually captures.

Here we go again – a summer of screaming children and a total lack of respect for any one else’s right to peace and quiet on their deck or in their backyard.  Ever since they put in that Olympic size attraction for people who live to scream out Marco…Polo…I have been forced inside my  house.

I imagine I should be grateful I’m not living next door to this:


We put up a shed to help shield the pool — didn’t really help much.  I’ve thought about hanging those monstrous windchimes (the kind you see at Buddhist temples) to show her that noise goes both ways.  I also was tempted once to send a very dirty EmmaLou (who had just rolled in and devoured a dead bird) to her pool to take a little dip and clean off.

We tried to talk them out of putting the pool so close to our property (it’s EXACTLY at the 10-foot line  because I had the county doublecheck it) – they have another lot behind their house.  But no, they wanted the luxury of being able to dash out their master bedroom and jump into the pool.  Oh, alright, I concede they have the right to own a pool and have fun in their backyard.  But it’s like living next to Flippin’ Sea World for gawd’s sake.  You’d think Shamu was over there frolicking in the water doing tricks and waiting for his treat — that’s how much noise is generated.

Honestly, I’m going to be Christian about this and believe they don’t realize how much noise they make, nor do they realize that water amplifies the sound, nor do they realize that the sound travels downhill right onto our nice big, deck that we paid a small fortune for and can’t use in peaceful serenity (why sit on a deck to read if you have to wear ear plugs  and can’t enjoy nature???)  Gah…  It’s not that I don’t like these people; they’re very nice, but the word “slap” just keeps popping into my mind whenever I see them.

So, I’m going to do the right thing.  Next week, I’m going to pack up a basket of goodies, include a bottle of wine, and go next door and have a heart to heart talk with her and nicely, gently ask her if they can try and keep the  noise down to a minimum – particularly the children screaming part.

Maybe I’ll buy one of those ShamWow things you see on tv and see if it actually will suck up all the water in their pool.  Then I’ll wring it out in their house.  Now that’s a good idea.  So is sending Devoted Spouse to the gun show to buy a grenade and accidentally lobbing it over the fence (only kidding, don’t send hate mail – I would never do that).

If that doesn’t work I know where the Easter Bunny hid my Bersa 380…(again, just kidding).


10 thoughts on “How Can It Possibly Be That Time of Year Already?

  1. Ugh. we always seem to get the neighbors from hell. If it’s not the kids, it’s the adults.

    It’s very tempting to move to WV and live in a little shack in the woods. With a garden, a satellite and DSL, of course. LOL

    I’m sorry you can’t enjoy your deck. You can do what a neighbor did to us once, not too long ago. We had a pool out for the grandbaby… and the neighbor thought it would be a good place to store his huge catfish until he could kill it an clean it. Nice, huh? *sigh*
    My only recourse is to try and work it out kindly and I’m willing to try that route because being angry certainly doesn’t help one’s blood pressure. I’m ready to move to the hills somewhere quiet, too!

  2. You could always accidentally drop a gallon of purple dye in there, you know. Or orange – being stained orange is always fun. They could pretend to be Oompa Loompas.

    Hey, it’s a thought…
    You are a bad, bad, girl, and I like the way you think! The only consolation is that one of these days the kids will grow up – of course then they’ll be in high school and I hate to think of the parties! I give up – there will be no peace on my deck for years to come.

  3. You have my heart-felt sympathy, you really, really do. If you live in an area that does not have an ordinance against unneccessary loud noises, you have but two choices: continue to live as you are or move. Neighbors such as you have … and I’d put good money on this … haven’t the slightest regard or concern for anyone but themselves. At least that has been my misfortune throughout the years. Before I moved into the city limits of Port St. Lucie, I made certain there were laws in force to curtail backing dogs and, I successfully put that ordinance to the test in at least two cases. In one case, I threatened to call the police if a newly moved-in neighbor didn’t curtail the noise after nine in the evening. They did. Good Luck. You’ll need it.
    Hi Mary – It’s interesting when we first found out they were putting this pool in a few years ago, we talked to them about its close proximity to our property and we pleaded with them to move it further out but it is their right to put it where they want it as long as it is legal — and I had the city come out and measure and they were right at the 10-foot line which made it perfectly legal. We fought, we yelled, I cried. One day as I was getting into my car, the husband next door started to walk over to me and tell me he was sorry they had upset us so, I just started to cry again, and told him not even to put one foot on my property just get away from me and thank you for ruining my peace and quiet. Not helpful, but I was so upset. Now, we’re sort of neighborly – we wave to one another and that’s about it. But I honestly think the only way to approach this is to go over and calmly (calmly Linda) discuss the noise issue. Unfortunately I already spoke to the police and city people and the only noise ordinances concern after 11 pm and barking dogs – nothing about pool noise. Thanks for the good luck wishes – I agree I will need it. I just hate having this confrontation and I pray it remains civil and works out.

  4. I feel for ya on this one. I don’t miss having neighbors right up my butt where I lived in Ohio… out here in rural-land, we don’t have a neighbor any closer than about 1 – 2 miles. Trust me, it works QUITE well. 🙂
    I want rural-land (and a bit further south) so bad I can taste it – but there’s no way in this market we’d be able to sell our house – there are hundreds of houses for sale around here and they’re just sitting there. So I’ll wait it out and use the ear plugs when I have to. Thanks for visiting – I’ll come by and see ya!

  5. Hey Cronie,
    Is this the same neighbor who is real anal about the lawn?
    BTW, one of our own neighbors has been the epicenter of the West Nile virus for the past 3 years…He has a neglected swimming pool filled with disgusting garbage. It’s a mosquito breeding pond. We called the city to complain last summer, and this guy was slapped with a fine.
    Sorry you have to hear all that damn noise…
    LOL No, it’s our next-door neighbor. Lawman lives across the street and by damn if he isn’t out there right now mowing?! He just did it three days ago. Unfortunately my shoulder isn’t strong enough to heft the shotgun out the open window… (just kidding people, just kidding).

  6. My Dad (seriously) used to keep piranha fish, just thought you would like to know, I am not suggesting you do anything with this information of course.

    I live next door to a farm, the owner of which sometimes ploughs his fields all through the night, I don’t suppose your gun comes with night sights does it?

    Againg just a thought, I am not planning anything.
    Piranha, huh? Hmmm….*thinking*

  7. I vote for buying those chimes and putting some nice big stereo speakers on your deck and play some really nice music in the middle of the night for a week or so. If they complain then remind them that it’s the same feeling you have about the screaming – or better yet, record some screaming and play it early in the morning. So sorry you have crappy neighbors with no common sense.
    Like the chimes and I’m seriously considering that idea. Can’t do the music in the night because there is a noise ordinance. But…*she thinks wickedly* they like to sleep late on Saturdays and my driveway is RIGHT next to their bedroom window – so I could go out early and accidentally hit that little panic button on my car remote opener that makes the horn blow forever… better yet, can I just come move next door to you? *sighs*

  8. We used to have neighbors that always played their music way too loud a few years ago. One time I was sick with the flu, my mother went over there and told them to keep it down (it was after 10pm- and the noise ordinance is you can’t play loud music after 830), and they simply refused. How did we get back and I got my peaceful sleep? We called the cops. The next day they asked if their music was too loud (and I could barely hear the thump thump of the bass), and we said “No. It’s perfectly alright. I just hope you didn’t get into trouble last time!” with a smile on our face. They never suspected a thing!
    You are so funny! I’m going to try the kill them with kindness route first – then we bring out the big windchimes and teach the dog to sit at the fence and bark at the pool nonstop! Hugs!

  9. OK Here’s my two cents:
    First, record the noise for a couple days and give them the tape. Just a polite suggestion to be as conciderate as one can be with a pool full of kids.
    Second, when they start playing Marco Polo join them! The little buggers will be bashing int the sides of the pool trying to tag you:)
    Third, Get a boom box, face it in their direction (at a reasonable volume) and play oh, I don’t know, anything that won’t annoy you but will annoy the kids.
    Lastly – the Redneck Pool? Yea. I know those people. It’s pretty entertaining actually:)
    I like your ideas and will give them serious consideration – but first I’m going to be the kind neighbor and ask politely for them to shut the flip up. LOL

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