I can’t believe it. I still have the furnace on, I’m wearing sweats and a hoodie, and the lady next door has on her swimsuit and is cleaning out her enormous swimming pool. Either that or she’s trolling for dead bodies, I don’t know; she’s uphill from me and it’s difficult to see what that strange pool net actually captures.
Here we go again – a summer of screaming children and a total lack of respect for any one else’s right to peace and quiet on their deck or in their backyard. Ever since they put in that Olympic size attraction for people who live to scream out Marco…Polo…I have been forced inside my house.
I imagine I should be grateful I’m not living next door to this:
We put up a shed to help shield the pool — didn’t really help much. I’ve thought about hanging those monstrous windchimes (the kind you see at Buddhist temples) to show her that noise goes both ways. I also was tempted once to send a very dirty EmmaLou (who had just rolled in and devoured a dead bird) to her pool to take a little dip and clean off.
We tried to talk them out of putting the pool so close to our property (it’s EXACTLY at the 10-foot line because I had the county doublecheck it) – they have another lot behind their house. But no, they wanted the luxury of being able to dash out their master bedroom and jump into the pool. Oh, alright, I concede they have the right to own a pool and have fun in their backyard. But it’s like living next to Flippin’ Sea World for gawd’s sake. You’d think Shamu was over there frolicking in the water doing tricks and waiting for his treat — that’s how much noise is generated.
Honestly, I’m going to be Christian about this and believe they don’t realize how much noise they make, nor do they realize that water amplifies the sound, nor do they realize that the sound travels downhill right onto our nice big, deck that we paid a small fortune for and can’t use in peaceful serenity (why sit on a deck to read if you have to wear ear plugs and can’t enjoy nature???) Gah… It’s not that I don’t like these people; they’re very nice, but the word “slap” just keeps popping into my mind whenever I see them.
So, I’m going to do the right thing. Next week, I’m going to pack up a basket of goodies, include a bottle of wine, and go next door and have a heart to heart talk with her and nicely, gently ask her if they can try and keep the noise down to a minimum – particularly the children screaming part.
Maybe I’ll buy one of those ShamWow things you see on tv and see if it actually will suck up all the water in their pool. Then I’ll wring it out in their house. Now that’s a good idea. So is sending Devoted Spouse to the gun show to buy a grenade and accidentally lobbing it over the fence (only kidding, don’t send hate mail – I would never do that).
If that doesn’t work I know where the Easter Bunny hid my Bersa 380…(again, just kidding).