But I Don’t Look Good in a Mask


Swine flu is here.  I’m not scared yet.  I think the media is starting a panic as usual.  Yes, I realize folks in Mexico have died and I’m not making fun of that at all, don’t get me wrong.  But I remember back in the 70’s when Swine Flu hit and it was just no big deal.  I’m hoping this time it is the same way.  No big deal – just like a cold.  Stay home and don’t infect other people.  And if you have to go to a doctor’s office for Goodness sake wear a mask, Michael Jackson gloves, and slather yourself with that hand sanitizer.  Doctor’s offices are the most germ-laden areas in the world.

This is the mask that the pharmacy is selling and suggesting we wear:


I just don’t think that’s going to be that helpful.  I suggest we scare the heck outta the Swine Flu and make it leave all of us alone.  I like these masks better:




Darth Vader




Freddy Krueger





I personally think any of these masks (particularly Hillary) should do the trick of keeping the Swine Flu away – plus wear one in your doctor’s office just for the fun of it.

Not only that, I like pigs – they’re cute.  I suggest regardles of where this flu originated we name it after something else…perhaps the Monkfish flu – coz this guy is definitely ugly and should have a virus named after him definitely.



The heck with this Swine flu stuff – I’m staying home and ordering in anchovy pizzas.


14 thoughts on “But I Don’t Look Good in a Mask

  1. Hi Linda! Just now catching up … you’re keyboard must be smokin’! You’ve been quite busy lately! Enjoyed reading your posts. I, too, am a little freaked by H1N1, seems we can’t call it “swine” flu anymore. Understandable, lest the pork farmers go out of business from piggy hysteria. I don’t know about you, but I still want some bacon now and then. Down here in Texas, they’re closing schools and canceling events (all UIL events in the State of Texas have been postponed). I don’t ever remember anything like this happening, and I vaguely remember the 70’s episode of swine flu. Think I’ll go with Homer …

    BTW, you’re quite possibly the only person I know of that eats anchovies on purpose …
    Yum, wish I had some of the little fishies right now to snack on… as to the swine flu I’m glad we’re all taking precautions coz it looks like it’s going to spread and very fast – thankfully right now it’s not a dangerous flu – that’s what I worry about – a flu that we can’t treat. I’m praying alot…

  2. I just heard on the news down here in Houston that sporting events were canceled. There have been a few cases in town.

    Personally I would like to think that if we all were careful an outbreak of the magnitude of 1917 won’t happen. The two main factors in that outbreak was 1. an entirely new strain (yes, this one is too) 2. the close quarters mandated by WW1. (this is not an issue now).

    Yes, wash your hands and use hand sanitizer if you can’t and please if you are sick stay at home but for goodness sake don’t panic. The media has nothing else to report on.
    I was a little worried when I wrote my posting – I don’t want to make fun of something that’s truly serious and dangerous but I know I’m right that the media is making it worse than it is – because that’s what they live for – scaring people. We’ve had other flu outbreaks and we’ll get through this one too. But I’m so danged tired of hearing “You heard it here first!” Damn pseudo-journalists.

  3. I lost a grandfather to the flu epidemic in 1917. My mother was only two when her father succumbed.

    I should’ve gone grocery shopping today but since I’m still coughing up bits of lung I figured it could wait. Bronchitis is no fun but I’m glad it’s not the swine flu.
    I’m sorry you are still not over that bronchitis – I hate that stuff! Can your grocery store deliver or do you have a neighbor who would go get some groceries for you? I’d do it, but I’m afraid I’m just too far away!!! LOL Hang in there sweetie!

  4. I’m not going to freak out just take precautions in public but forget the mask. Those are more if you are infected so you don’t infect someone else by breathing or sneezing on them, not the other way around.

    Hey, haven’t seen you around my neck of the woods lately and I miss you!
    I have visited but haven’t left many comments – sorry – haven’t felt well – I sent you an email. Hugs!

  5. I read that they’ve stopped yelling “pandemic” and are calling it an “epidemic”. On top of that, I also read – from one of the same news sources that has been spreading the panic for the last few days – that only 9 (yes, NINE) of the deaths are actually confirmed as swine flu, and that includes the toddler that died in Houston while visiting from Mexico.

    I’m also reminding myself that we have advanced in the areas of science and medicine a great deal since 1917, and have the abilities and resources to respond in ways we did not have then. So I’m not going to panic or be nervous any more.

    I’ll see you in my subterranean fallout shelter.
    Many of the media conveniently forgot to mention that the toddler in Mexico who died from the swine flu also had other medical issues. This too shall pass. I’ll bring my armory to your shelter.

  6. Hi Linda! I agree… I would rather wear the Darth Vader mask than look like a surgeon gone-wrong. I have to keep remembering that the media is causing me to grab a gas mask!
    I often feel the media should have to wear duct tape across their mouths…

  7. I personally think that the media should be severely chastised for the horrendous, “scare mongering” , of which they are so fond of engaging…
    I think the only thing to stay sane is, don’t watch the news(or at least take a LARGE grain of salt whilst so engaged, especially around that demon network, CNN)
    and simply exercise proper hygiene…
    wash your hands often!
    (Something that we should be doing anyway!)
    Take care…
    I agree with you 100% – in fact recently my pastor was talking about how he used to be such a newshound, constantly watching the news until he was totally addicted. His advice to us now is watch the first 5 minutes, just enough to get the headlines, then turn it off. Simply turn it off. I tend to agree with him. I’m tired of the misinformation and the scare tactics. I think FOX network is the worst.

  8. When I first caught my cold, Mom and Twin freaked out because they thought I had got it until they thought “She hasn’t been anywhere to get it!”. Now they know it’s just a cold. I blame the media for the panic. I don’t like the mask either. I’d choose Darth Vader just so I can go “Luke, I am your father.”.
    I don’t want to hear that you have swine flu – it’s just a cold or an allergy – but stay inside and drink lots of fluids – did you ever try that Zicam I told you about? Dang it really works but you have to start it at the first sign of symptoms. Get some and keep it on hand – it cut down my cold to 3 days. So feel better – I mean it – get better dang it all! Now the good news is I managed to add a link to you on Crap on a Crutch and I also got a link to Confetti Dreams on COAC, too. So now we’re all good I hope. Hugs!

  9. My allergies are bad with all this rain stirring up the mold/mildew so I’m coughing and sneezing and everyone avoids me like the plague.

    What a great way to not be bothered by other people. 🙂
    I like this idea and think I’ll borrow it and freak everybody out in church tomorrow. muahahahahahaha

  10. OMG! You’re right, we are on the same wavelength. This is too funny. Oh and btw, I had to go back and look to see who the Hillary mask was because I didn’t recognize her until you told me the second time who it was. LOL Scary.
    I couldn’t find another Hillary mask and that scared me more because it means “her” people have sanitized the web – she scares me unlike any other quasi-human on the earth and sometimes I think she may in fact be the anti-Christ… (just kidding) (okay, sort of just kidding – you all know she’s not my favorite person)

  11. Hi there Cronie,
    I think Darth Vader is somehow related to the Monkfish.
    I agree – I definitely think a Monkfish mask would keep away swine flu – no self-respecting swine would get near a monkfish…

  12. I got an email from d*@khead about our trip to Mexico. They are “closely monitoring the situation”. Which means they are checking to see if they can get a refund. Ha!
    Yes indeed, the phrase “closely monitoring the situation” is a euphemism for “you’re screwed.” *sigh*

  13. Did you know?: That RFID (Spychips) are being created to tag people .I like your masks better
    Yes dahlink – I worked for the gov’t – I know all about RFID…I really like my Alien mask the best – then I could drool at will and no one could complain!

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