What the Heck, Let’s Go Out to Dinner


photo from National Archives

After spending $8,000 on our furnace and air conditioner today it dawned on us that we were rather hungry.  Crap, it’s only  money, let’s go get a pizza.  What’s an extra $25 bucks when you’ve already spent 8 grand?  Chump change.

Plus, I was feeling puny – back was bothering me and I just wanted some comfort food.  You know how sometimes nothing will satisfy you except that comfort food you crave and just must have?  Well, that was me at dinnertime.

Except my comfort food might be considered a little on the strange side.  You see I love anchovies.  I’ll eat those little suckers right out of the jar.  What’s odd is I’m not fond of salt, and anchovies are very salty.  But, they’re so good.  Between jars of anchovies, cans of sardines in mustard, and the cans of salmon that have the bones in them (I toss the salmon and eat the bones) – I’m just addicted to that stuff.  I know – I have some strange sickness like people who eat chalk or school paste (hey that stuff was good as I recall).


So there we were at our favorite pizza joint – a family run outfit headquartered in Cincinnati named LaRosa’s.  They make the absolute best pizza sauce and crust in the world.  Period.  I sat down, looked at the menu and knew I wanted a salad and a small pizza with mushrooms and anchovies.  Devoted Spouse moved his chair a few feet back from the table but was prepared to allow me this one treat.

Our waitress took our order.  Our drinks arrived.  And then the manager arrived and said “We’re out of anchovies.”  He honestly looked at me, had the audacity to smile and repeat, “No, really, we’re out of anchovies.”  I looked around the restaurant thinking I was being punked.  I looked up at him and said, “How can you possibly be OUT of anchovies”?  They can’t be that popular – you are kidding me, aren’t you?”  Nope – they were out.  Somebody didn’t order correctly and there was not a little fishy to be found in the kitchen. I just sat there and stared at him dumbfounded while he repeatedly apologized for not having something in an Italian restaurant that should be a &^)%%&%$$^ staple, for goodness sake.

I was devastated.  I wanted to run down the road to the local deli, pick up a jar and bring it back to them but realized that was probably a bit tacky on my part.  He offered me any other ingredient I wanted regardless of the cost – I considered asking for giraffe testicles (I was a bit cranky by that time) but I was nice and simply requested artichokes.  Artichokes they had.

So, I had a good pizza with good mushrooms and tasty artichokes and if I don’t get an anchovy within the next 24 hours I am going to take some type of drastic action  – I don’t know, maybe have EmmaLou leave the pizza place a little present in their front yard.

Well, at least I’m warm and cozy with my new furnace working coz once again it’s a tad bit chilly here in Ohio.  A warm anchovy on some crusty bread would help…


5 thoughts on “What the Heck, Let’s Go Out to Dinner

  1. Oh, thank gawd! I’m not alone in my love for those little fishie treats to the palate. And no I wasn’t the one who ordered the last anchovy pizza there and left you with none. Dear Hubby won’t even let me order them on half a pizza–says they swim around in the sauce and can he taste them on his half. 😦
    Oh goodie – let’s have an anchovy party – I only know one other person who loves them as much as I – Yay for us! They are very healthy for you!

  2. I knew you were nuts, I just didn’t know how nuts. Anchovies? Ugh! You can have any that come swimming my way. The sardines too. I like salmon steaks and patties but other than that, fish with bones are a no-no in my book.
    I love salmon – and I don’t eat regular fish bones – canned salmon bones are very different – they’re soft (like little vertebra) and they’re very good for you – I would never eat regular fish bones -a girl could choke!

  3. Well, you’ll certainly never have to worry about getting plenty of Omega 3 fats, will you?
    No, but the sodium in anchovies is pretty high so I don’t indulge often.

  4. Can you believe I’ve never eaten an anchovy? I know they are in Caesar dressing but now that you’ve told me they are very salty, I have to try them. I love sardines and smoked oysters so surely I’ll love these little fishies.

    I hate it when i have my mouth all set for something and they are out. grrrr……
    Baby you come on over and we’ll eat anchovy pizzas till we burst — you’ll love the little guys. I use something called anchovy paste which comes in a tube and I put just a small amount in my homemade spaghetti sauce because it gives it another layer of flavor – Devoted Spouse has never noticed. HAH! So there – he’s eating anchovies and doesn’t even know it!

  5. It’s me again Cronie,
    To be honest with you, I’ve never even tried anchovie. Now I am curious…if I can eat kimchee, and yes I love the little boney sardines too, then maybe it’s time to try anchovies.
    Will report back to you later on this.
    Sardines are not as salty as anchovies – but the salt is worth the flavor and you don’t eat them that often to have problems with the sodium – OMG anchovies are the nectar of the gods!

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