After spending $8,000 on our furnace and air conditioner today it dawned on us that we were rather hungry. Crap, it’s only money, let’s go get a pizza. What’s an extra $25 bucks when you’ve already spent 8 grand? Chump change.
Plus, I was feeling puny – back was bothering me and I just wanted some comfort food. You know how sometimes nothing will satisfy you except that comfort food you crave and just must have? Well, that was me at dinnertime.
Except my comfort food might be considered a little on the strange side. You see I love anchovies. I’ll eat those little suckers right out of the jar. What’s odd is I’m not fond of salt, and anchovies are very salty. But, they’re so good. Between jars of anchovies, cans of sardines in mustard, and the cans of salmon that have the bones in them (I toss the salmon and eat the bones) – I’m just addicted to that stuff. I know – I have some strange sickness like people who eat chalk or school paste (hey that stuff was good as I recall).
So there we were at our favorite pizza joint – a family run outfit headquartered in Cincinnati named LaRosa’s. They make the absolute best pizza sauce and crust in the world. Period. I sat down, looked at the menu and knew I wanted a salad and a small pizza with mushrooms and anchovies. Devoted Spouse moved his chair a few feet back from the table but was prepared to allow me this one treat.
Our waitress took our order. Our drinks arrived. And then the manager arrived and said “We’re out of anchovies.” He honestly looked at me, had the audacity to smile and repeat, “No, really, we’re out of anchovies.” I looked around the restaurant thinking I was being punked. I looked up at him and said, “How can you possibly be OUT of anchovies”? They can’t be that popular – you are kidding me, aren’t you?” Nope – they were out. Somebody didn’t order correctly and there was not a little fishy to be found in the kitchen. I just sat there and stared at him dumbfounded while he repeatedly apologized for not having something in an Italian restaurant that should be a &^)%%&%$$^ staple, for goodness sake.
I was devastated. I wanted to run down the road to the local deli, pick up a jar and bring it back to them but realized that was probably a bit tacky on my part. He offered me any other ingredient I wanted regardless of the cost – I considered asking for giraffe testicles (I was a bit cranky by that time) but I was nice and simply requested artichokes. Artichokes they had.
So, I had a good pizza with good mushrooms and tasty artichokes and if I don’t get an anchovy within the next 24 hours I am going to take some type of drastic action – I don’t know, maybe have EmmaLou leave the pizza place a little present in their front yard.
Well, at least I’m warm and cozy with my new furnace working coz once again it’s a tad bit chilly here in Ohio. A warm anchovy on some crusty bread would help…