I went to see my newest blogging buddy The Atomic Mom yesterday and she had this posting with a picture of a huge young woman on a motorcycle and this girl had the biggest backside God has ever made and she was in a pair of the shortest shorts imagineable. Well I just laughed and laughed and was thankful I don’t look quite that bad in shorts. Now I know it’s not nice to laugh at those who are less fortunate than ourselves. But I did. I’m human. I may study Theology and God-things but I’m still human and that picture is funny.
So, yesterday I made a Target run. Now in the past few days here in Ohio it’s been getting up in the 80’s and kind of warm. That brings out everybody in tee-shirts, shorts, and flip-flops (as it should). What I saw going into, walking around, and coming out of Target just floored me.
“Fat chicks in shorts” (as Atomic Mom would say). Now, I’m not trying to be critical – I’m a middle-aged lady who could stand to lose a good 20 pounds (okay maybe even 30), but I don’t go around the neighborhood wearing skintight biker shorts that make your fat bubble up over the top. Nor am I a proponent of cropped tops – my belly needs to stay right where it is…hidden behind clothing.
You would not have believed what some of these women were wearing – and these were not young women. I saw more spandex than I ever want to see again. Honey – here’s a note: just coz it’s spandex doesn’t mean it makes you look slim. If you weigh 250 pounds (and there seems to be alot of those here in OH) I guarantee you that spandex is gonna do nothing but create terrible problems – that fat that has been squeezed needs to go somewhere and inevitably it will show out the bottom of the shorts or over the top. Not pretty. Honey if you can’t zip it don’t try to wear it; if you can’t get that spandex up over your bottom without jumping up and down and breaking into a sweat, stop trying. It isn’t going to work.
I saw ladies in those gawdawful cheap polyester (I apologize if you like polyester) pants two sizes too small with little teeny tight tee-shirts that make the already floppy fat on the upper arms just pop out like it was Popeye’s. Does no one in this town own a mirror?
Ladies here’s a tip – if you are over forty and your thighs look like they have cottage cheese please invest in a nice pair of twill capri pants and a nice well-fitted short sleeved shirt or a tee-shirt in the proper size. Then go outside and do your shopping. Because I’m telling you if I have to look at one more backside that looks like you could hold a lunch tray on it simply because it’s been forced into spandex 6 sizes too small, I shall lose what little I have of my mind.
We can’t all be a size 2 but we can all stop trying to squeeze into those size 2’s! I understand there are issues of medicine – things like Prednisone will make you gain weight and I understand there are thyroid issues and a host of other medical reasons that some of us are larger than we would like. Oh and dear gawd let’s not forget menopause – it’s a weight killer. But let’s start dressing for our size and get over this nonsense that women have to squeeze into tiny sizes to be valid.