Interesting article online from Real Simple Magazine – very upbeat on how to get happy quickly. They had 9 suggestions taking only 30 minutes out of your day and guaranteed to boost your mood. I know – let’s compare their suggestions to mine.
1. Raise your activity level. They suggest a brisk 10-minute walk. I suggest raising my activity level by running around the house trying to retrieve the freshly laundered underwear from the strong teeth of Emmalou, the Golden Destroyer.
2. Take a walk outside. They claim light stimulates brain chemicals. Obviously they don’t live here in Ohio where it has been cloudy and rainy for the last oh, maybe 1,000 days.
3. Reach out. Send a friendly email to someone you haven’t contacted for awhile. When you act friendly toward others they will act friendly toward you. Someone please explain that concept to the cashier at my grocery store who continues to pack my groceries 1,000 pounds to the bag regardless of how many times I tell him I have a shoulder injury and can’t pick them up. I’d like to reach out and…
4. Rid yourself of a nagging task. Okay, I think I’ll stop answering the phone at dinnertime coz it’s usually a telemarketer and that just nags the crap outta me. Easy. I’m happier already and it’s only been about 10 minutes or so.
5. Create a more serene environment. Outer order contributes to inner peace or so they claim. In other words clean up your clutter and turn it into a minimalist Zen environment. Set the timer for 10 minutes and see what you can do. I already know what I can do in 10 minutes – crap I can cram a dozen cream horns in my mouth, chew them up and swallow them — sounds serene to me and I bet I’d have at least 5 serene minutes left over.
6. Do a good deed. They suggest you introduce two people by e-mail. Well, let’s see, if one of them is a 49 year old man and one of them a 13 year old girl, I’m thinking this is not such a good idea…
7. Save someone’s life. They suggest we all sign up as organ donors. To paraphrase Mr. T…I pity the fool who ends up with my liver…
8. Act happy. They suggest you fake it till you feel it (are we talking about sex here?) This article also actually states, “What’s the worst that can happen if you bounce a check or leave wet clothes in the dryer?” Well, if I bounce my mortgage check I’m out of a house, and if the clothes are in the dryer sopping wet I’m not only out of my house, I’m standing out there in wet clothes. Where do they find these people???
9. Finally, the last suggestion is” Learn something new. Ok. Not a bad idea. I think I’ll learn not to pay attention to these amazing suggestions guaranteed to make you happier in 30 minutes and I bet I still have at least 10 minutes left over.
The only way I’m gonna get happy in the next 30 minutes (keeping it clean) is if Devoted Spouse delivers to me a Weight Watchers ice cream sandwich. Otherwise, I’m just going to continue to sit here and think of other ways to get happy. Hmmm, margaritas come to mind. Then there’s always a surprise visit from Johnny Depp. Who needs Real Simple’s List anyway??? They don’t have a clue how to get happy in 30 minutes. Besides, I have Devoted Spouse and EmmaLou — who needs anything else to be happy?