9 Ways to Get Happy in the Next 30 Minutes


Interesting article online from Real Simple Magazine – very upbeat on how to get happy quickly.  They had 9 suggestions taking only 30 minutes out of  your day and guaranteed to boost your mood.  I know – let’s compare their suggestions to mine.

1.  Raise your activity level. They suggest a brisk 10-minute walk.  I suggest raising my activity  level  by running around the house trying to retrieve the freshly laundered underwear from the strong teeth of Emmalou, the Golden Destroyer.

2.  Take a walk outside. They claim light stimulates brain chemicals.  Obviously they don’t live here in Ohio where it has been cloudy and rainy for the last oh, maybe 1,000 days.

3.  Reach out. Send a friendly email to someone you haven’t contacted for awhile.  When you act friendly toward others they will act friendly toward you.  Someone please explain that concept to the cashier at my grocery store who continues to pack my groceries 1,000 pounds to the bag regardless of how many times I tell him I have a shoulder injury and can’t pick them up.  I’d like to reach out and…

4.  Rid yourself of a nagging task. Okay, I think I’ll stop answering the phone at dinnertime coz  it’s usually a telemarketer and that just nags the crap outta me.  Easy.  I’m happier already and it’s only been about 10 minutes or so.

5.  Create a more serene environment. Outer order contributes to inner peace or so they claim. In other words clean up your clutter and turn it into a minimalist Zen environment.   Set the timer for 10 minutes and see what you can do.  I already know what I can do in 10 minutes – crap I can cram a dozen cream horns in my mouth, chew them up and swallow them — sounds serene to me and I bet I’d have at least 5 serene minutes left over.

6.  Do a good deed. They suggest you introduce two people by e-mail.  Well, let’s see, if one of them is a 49 year old man and one of them a 13 year old girl, I’m thinking this is not such a good idea…

7.  Save someone’s life. They suggest we all sign up as organ donors.  To paraphrase Mr. T…I pity the fool who ends up with my liver…

8.  Act happy. They suggest you fake it till you feel it (are we talking about sex here?)  This article also actually states, “What’s the worst that can happen if you bounce a check or leave wet clothes in the dryer?”   Well, if I bounce my mortgage check I’m out of a house, and if the clothes are in the dryer sopping wet I’m not only out of my house, I’m standing out there in wet clothes.  Where do they find these people???

9.  Finally, the last suggestion is”  Learn something new. Ok.  Not a bad idea.  I think I’ll learn not to pay attention to these amazing suggestions guaranteed to make you happier in 30 minutes and I bet I still have at least 10 minutes left over.

The only way I’m gonna get happy in the next 30 minutes (keeping it clean) is if Devoted Spouse delivers to me a Weight Watchers ice cream sandwich.  Otherwise, I’m just going to continue to sit here and think of other ways to get happy.  Hmmm,  margaritas come to mind.  Then there’s always a surprise visit from Johnny Depp.  Who needs Real Simple’s List anyway???  They don’t have a clue how to get happy in 30 minutes.  Besides, I have Devoted Spouse and EmmaLou — who needs anything else to be happy?


13 thoughts on “9 Ways to Get Happy in the Next 30 Minutes

  1. By the time I got to #5, I was laughing so hard the only thing that could have possibly made me happier was a martini and the means to disembowel my ex’s 28-year-old wife.
    I agree with the disemboweling but they only gave me 9 suggestions…
    P.S. I think my “blogged” rating of 7.5 sucks – would you please press the little red “rate this blog” button on the side and rate my blog for me? Thanks. Oh, please don’t make it any lower… 🙂

  2. Wow, beautiful. Know what! When I need to be happy or get to my usual state (that’s being happy) I just try to understand the situation from the other side of myself. I usually find answers.
    And that’s the kind of great outlook we should all have!

  3. Love the cartoon. I am incapable of acting happy…
    Acting happy is hard – many times I’ve felt I deserve an Academy Award in that category…
    P.S. I’m bugging everyone to please go rate this blog – I think the editors at Blogged are blind – I’m funnier than 7.5 – hit the red “rate this blog” button over on the side of my page and go help me please. And if you give me a 2.7 I will come get you. *grins* Hugs.

  4. I wish I had had this info 10 hours ago when I had my minor meltdown. I’m better now but it was a near thing.
    Sorry about the minor meltdown – boy haven’t I had them too lately??? I would have loaned you my new Easter gun…you could have at least smacked someone with it, coz it doesn’t have any ammo yet – but I bet that metal hitting someone up the side of their stupid face would help. At least it would have helped me with the &*(*&^^ grocery clerk… I’m sorry you had a minor meltdown – if I can help in any way, email me. MUAH!!

  5. I try to do good deeds everyday- but happy everyday? Ha! LOL
    I also try to do good deeds everyday, and somedays it’s only picking up the used Kleenex I hurled across the room (okay so Kleenex don’t hurl and just land at your feet), but I try. I am also happy everyday, if only for the fact I woke up on the right side of the grass. BTW thank you for the 10 rating when you reviewed my blog – you’re the only one who has reviewed it. If I don’t get some better reviews I’ll take it down. It’s that depressing to be thought of as only worthy of a 7.5…Gah

  6. Great advice. I’ll have to remember it. *sigh*
    Love the cartoon.
    The cartoon made me feel happy – now if Real Simple had just put that cartoon in their article we all would have saved 30 minutes…
    BTW I’m trying to increase my review rating from Blogged (d*ckheads) – would you take a moment and hit the “rate this blog” button for me and review it? Thanks. My self esteem depends on it… and there’s a large cliff in my back yard with my name on it and the words “place feet here”…

  7. Nine ways to get happy, huh? Let me see, margaritas, coffee, and an assortment of dark chocolates will get me there faster than their suggestions. 😉
    I wondered why they chose 9 ways…not 5…not 10…not 25…but 9? I like your suggestions.

  8. I can get happy in 5 minutes, just take a muscle relaxer, one of those giant sized pain pills, and a glass of wine, doused down my throat. Yup, I will be so slaphappy silly that I won’t know what to do. Oh and if I throw in one of those ambien pills, I might be so happy that I would even read their magazine. And so since I cannot drink the wine, I guess the other three will have to do.

    I laughed out loud again, the cats gave me funny looks again. I loved #7 for some reason.

    Thanks for making me happy for 10 minutes.

    God bless.
    Will send e-mail back to you. I hope blogger reads yours.
    Yes, pharmaceuticals are wonderful things. I’m trying to do without them and at the moment my back is screaming at me and I’m walking hunched over like a 1,000 year old woman again, dammit. *sigh* I’m glad I made you happy if only for 10 minutes!

  9. I loved reading this post especially number three, some times I would like to reach out to doctors receptionists.

    Reading your blog does wonders for my mood, I love your sense of humour.

    Take care,
    thank you sweetie – your kind words do wonders for me, too!

  10. oooooh cronie, you out-did yourself on this one.
    I had to go and use that bathroom because it’s hard to laugh when trying not to pee.
    And I’m with mrsupople…take a pill and wash it down with something like a beer or wine.
    And I think it was #4 “Rid yourself of a nagging task”…okay, let’s forget about cooking, and just go out for dinner!!!
    I like doing posts like this because it shows that normal people don’t listen to that crap they put out – but I’ll be happy to write some of it if they’ll pay me!!! I like #4 too – let’s go get some grub baby!

  11. Anyone can write a list that makes about as much sense and they pay these people to write this stuff. I like your answers better, maybe they should pay you.

    Cartoon is killer! I’m going and rating you a perfect ’cause you are in my book!
    You are just the best – thanks for the review – I adore you. Now cross your fingers coz I just tripped over EmmaLou and fell onto my shoulder – hurts like hell – icing it – didn’t come out thank God but I know I didn’t do it any good. Damn dog…

  12. I tagged you for a little fun at my site. I’m off to find your rate this blog button. Hugs. Saw on twitter, you’re not feeling so good. Hope sleep and drugs find you much better in the morning.
    I am better thanks – did no further damage to shoulder thank God. I’ll come check out the fun tag!

  13. Oh, for heaven’s sake! Sending you healing hugs–EmmaLou, no more tripping your Mom!
    Healing hugs working – I’m better – fortunately didn’t fall hard enough nor did I twist it to do any further damage – just hurt – and scared me!! Silly fur-child. Of course she curled up right next to me last night in bed and wouldn’t leave my side just like she knew I hurt and it was her fault.

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